Hi again, Becki
PS Even if you don't use a chair, you'd still be very welcome in the
Washington Women's Wheelchair Network.

Anne


On 1/9/06 11:00 PM, "elaine tiblier" <swetnspycy@...> wrote:

> hi becky,
>
> im 26 years old, and i was involved in a mva about a
> year ago. im considered a t7,t8 complete. i have a 3
> year old son, which was 2 at the time of my accident.
> I was scared cause im a single mom and i really didnt
> know how my son would react to the change. Especially
> since I'm the one who did everything. It was hard at
> first cause i couldnt even change his diaper and he
> would want me to chase after him like i did before my
> accident. which was i think the hardest thing for me
> that my son didnt understand why i couldnt do certain
> things like before. But it was an adjustment for both
> of us. But , oh my gosh we have our routine down. He
> helps me out alot and understands that i need my chair
> to get around. It's like this is how he knows me now.
> So dont worry about it. You'll learn different ways
> to do things. As for dating, i had a boyfriend the
> time of my accident for a while. at least. I actually
> broke it off with him cause the whole time i found out
> that he was seeing someone else. He loved me but he
> couldnt handle the change. He was a typical guy who
> was into me cause of the outside i guess you can say.
> As for dating , i dont miss it , im just concentrating
> on being a good mother and raising my son. The way i
> see it, is just dont look for it, it'll come to you
> when you least expect it. Just trust in the Lord. He
> has a plan for all of us. God bless you! Feel free
> to contact me if you have any other questions.
>
> Til later,
>
> Laney
>
> --- Becki J <bbw_beckiboo@...> wrote:
>
>> Hi Mary,
>>
>> Thanks so much for writing! I've received some
>> very helpful emails and I really appreciate everyone
>> that has taken the time to write. Since I no longer
>> use a chair, my big fear is falling with or dropping
>> a baby...I fall frequently. I'm starting to think
>> that if I choose to do this I might want to consider
>> using the chair again...I don't know, I guess I have
>> more thinking to do.
>>
>> As for dating...I'm afraid I think way to highly
>> of myself *lol*...I tend to think I can do way
>> better than some of the bozo's that usually like me
>> more than I like them. I guess I'm just not willing
>> to settle for less than what I really want...which
>> is a true "connection". I have dated one guy with
>> whome I felt that...started to fall in love with him
>> even. But...he never wants to marry or have kids
>> (so he says...but note both my ex-LTR's are married
>> with children now...so I guess men just don't want
>> to marry ME). Anyway...I've cooled on the dating for
>> a while...it's just too depressing. I either like
>> them more than they like me or vice versa.
>>
>> I would like to find a local sci group like the
>> one you mentioned...if anyone knows of something in
>> the Seattle/Tacoma area, please let me know.
>>
>> thanks!
>> Becki
>>
>> mary cooper <cooperm1@...> wrote:
>> Hi Becki,
>> My name is Mary. I am a T-10 complete. I am 41
>> years old. I was involved in an MVA 5 years ago.
>> I am a single mom. My daughter was 3 at the time of
>> my accident. At first I had big adjustments in
>> parenting with my daughter. Now , this is how it
>> is. she never ran away. She always kept close in
>> public. Somehow she knew not to stray to far. She
>> also was old enough to get into my lap so I pushed
>> her around a lot. She loves to sit and get a free
>> ride. At 8 she still sits on my lap. Once she ran
>> and jumped into my lap. I had to replace the roho
>> cushion since she popped it. A great lesson
>> learned.
>>
>> I also struggle with dating. I'm not very good at
>> it. I have tried post injury but I have no self
>> confidence. Who wants a broken person. I do miss
>> physical contact (not counting my daughter). That
>> hurts the most. I try not to dwell on this
>> However, I have a lot of friends in chairs. Many
>> are married and have children. Some have had
>> children post injury. I have not lost hope.
>> I belong to a local sci support group. We are a
>> young group of people. ranging from 18 to 70. All
>> of us are very active in our lives. Some work, some
>> do not. We do not sit on the pity pot at our
>> meetings.
>>
>> My daughter wants a brother or sister. I would love
>> another child but am a little leery of the process.
>> But you never know what will happen.
>> I wish you luck and hope I was a least some help.
>> If I can do any more please let me know.
>> mary
>>
>>
>>
>> ----- Original Message -----
>> From: Becki
>> To: womenwithsci@yahoogroups.com
>> Sent: Sunday, January 08, 2006 5:45 PM
>> Subject: [Women with SCI] Hi, I'm new
>>
>>
>> My name is Becki. I have an incomplete SCI at the
>> T10 level. Three
>> years ago I had heart surgery to correct a fatal
>> birth defect and
>> woke up partially paralyzed, unable to stand, move
>> some ways, feel
>> some things. After three years I am now walking on
>> crutches. I live
>> completely independently, work full time, am
>> single and have 2 cats
>> and a dog.
>>
>> I've been seeking out support systems because my
>> friends just can't
>> relate to the problems I have. I've even started a
>> Yahoo group for
>> people in my area, though there aren't any members
>> yet.
>>
>> As a single 32 (almost) year old woman who is a
>> major failure in the
>> dating world (especially post injury), I struggle
>> a lot with
>> loneliness. I've been thinking a lot lately about
>> either adopting a
>> child or having one naturally with some help from
>> a donor. My whole
>> life I always "knew" I would have children, and
>> it's painful to be
>> 32 and not see that dream anywhere close to coming
>> to fruition.
>>
>> I would be interested in hearing from other women
>> who had children
>> post injury. What types of adjustments did you
>> make, how do you
>> handle the things that scare me...like children
>> running away from
>> you (I can't run), what tools did you find most
>> useful, things like
>> that. This is just in thinking phase right
>> now...I'm only
>> considering this as a last resort if I hit 35 and
>> still have no
>> prospects.
>>
>> I hope to learn more about the people here. :)
>> Becki
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
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anne@...
http://fey.cc