hi becky,

im 26 years old, and i was involved in a mva about a
year ago. im considered a t7,t8 complete. i have a 3
year old son, which was 2 at the time of my accident.
I was scared cause im a single mom and i really didnt
know how my son would react to the change. Especially
since I'm the one who did everything. It was hard at
first cause i couldnt even change his diaper and he
would want me to chase after him like i did before my
accident. which was i think the hardest thing for me
that my son didnt understand why i couldnt do certain
things like before. But it was an adjustment for both
of us. But , oh my gosh we have our routine down. He
helps me out alot and understands that i need my chair
to get around. It's like this is how he knows me now.
So dont worry about it. You'll learn different ways
to do things. As for dating, i had a boyfriend the
time of my accident for a while. at least. I actually
broke it off with him cause the whole time i found out
that he was seeing someone else. He loved me but he
couldnt handle the change. He was a typical guy who
was into me cause of the outside i guess you can say.
As for dating , i dont miss it , im just concentrating
on being a good mother and raising my son. The way i
see it, is just dont look for it, it'll come to you
when you least expect it. Just trust in the Lord. He
has a plan for all of us. God bless you! Feel free
to contact me if you have any other questions.

Til later,

Laney

--- Becki J <bbw_beckiboo@...> wrote:

> Hi Mary,
>
> Thanks so much for writing! I've received some
> very helpful emails and I really appreciate everyone
> that has taken the time to write. Since I no longer
> use a chair, my big fear is falling with or dropping
> a baby...I fall frequently. I'm starting to think
> that if I choose to do this I might want to consider
> using the chair again...I don't know, I guess I have
> more thinking to do.
>
> As for dating...I'm afraid I think way to highly
> of myself *lol*...I tend to think I can do way
> better than some of the bozo's that usually like me
> more than I like them. I guess I'm just not willing
> to settle for less than what I really want...which
> is a true "connection". I have dated one guy with
> whome I felt that...started to fall in love with him
> even. But...he never wants to marry or have kids
> (so he says...but note both my ex-LTR's are married
> with children now...so I guess men just don't want
> to marry ME). Anyway...I've cooled on the dating for
> a while...it's just too depressing. I either like
> them more than they like me or vice versa.
>
> I would like to find a local sci group like the
> one you mentioned...if anyone knows of something in
> the Seattle/Tacoma area, please let me know.
>
> thanks!
> Becki
>
> mary cooper <cooperm1@...> wrote:
> Hi Becki,
> My name is Mary. I am a T-10 complete. I am 41
> years old. I was involved in an MVA 5 years ago.
> I am a single mom. My daughter was 3 at the time of
> my accident. At first I had big adjustments in
> parenting with my daughter. Now , this is how it
> is. she never ran away. She always kept close in
> public. Somehow she knew not to stray to far. She
> also was old enough to get into my lap so I pushed
> her around a lot. She loves to sit and get a free
> ride. At 8 she still sits on my lap. Once she ran
> and jumped into my lap. I had to replace the roho
> cushion since she popped it. A great lesson
> learned.
>
> I also struggle with dating. I'm not very good at
> it. I have tried post injury but I have no self
> confidence. Who wants a broken person. I do miss
> physical contact (not counting my daughter). That
> hurts the most. I try not to dwell on this
> However, I have a lot of friends in chairs. Many
> are married and have children. Some have had
> children post injury. I have not lost hope.
> I belong to a local sci support group. We are a
> young group of people. ranging from 18 to 70. All
> of us are very active in our lives. Some work, some
> do not. We do not sit on the pity pot at our
> meetings.
>
> My daughter wants a brother or sister. I would love
> another child but am a little leery of the process.
> But you never know what will happen.
> I wish you luck and hope I was a least some help.
> If I can do any more please let me know.
> mary
>
>
>
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: Becki
> To: womenwithsci@yahoogroups.com
> Sent: Sunday, January 08, 2006 5:45 PM
> Subject: [Women with SCI] Hi, I'm new
>
>
> My name is Becki. I have an incomplete SCI at the
> T10 level. Three
> years ago I had heart surgery to correct a fatal
> birth defect and
> woke up partially paralyzed, unable to stand, move
> some ways, feel
> some things. After three years I am now walking on
> crutches. I live
> completely independently, work full time, am
> single and have 2 cats
> and a dog.
>
> I've been seeking out support systems because my
> friends just can't
> relate to the problems I have. I've even started a
> Yahoo group for
> people in my area, though there aren't any members
> yet.
>
> As a single 32 (almost) year old woman who is a
> major failure in the
> dating world (especially post injury), I struggle
> a lot with
> loneliness. I've been thinking a lot lately about
> either adopting a
> child or having one naturally with some help from
> a donor. My whole
> life I always "knew" I would have children, and
> it's painful to be
> 32 and not see that dream anywhere close to coming
> to fruition.
>
> I would be interested in hearing from other women
> who had children
> post injury. What types of adjustments did you
> make, how do you
> handle the things that scare me...like children
> running away from
> you (I can't run), what tools did you find most
> useful, things like
> that. This is just in thinking phase right
> now...I'm only
> considering this as a last resort if I hit 35 and
> still have no
> prospects.
>
> I hope to learn more about the people here. :)
> Becki
>
>
>
>
>
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