Hi Becki,
My name is Mary. I am a T-10 complete. I am 41 years old. I was involved
in an MVA 5 years ago. I am a single mom. My daughter was 3 at the time
of my accident. At first I had big adjustments in parenting with my
daughter. Now , this is how it is. she never ran away. She always kept
close in public. Somehow she knew not to stray to far. She also was old
enough to get into my lap so I pushed her around a lot. She loves to sit
and get a free ride. At 8 she still sits on my lap. Once she ran and
jumped into my lap. I had to replace the roho cushion since she popped it.
A great lesson learned.

I also struggle with dating. I'm not very good at it. I have tried post
injury but I have no self confidence. Who wants a broken person. I do miss
physical contact (not counting my daughter). That hurts the most. I try
not to dwell on this

However, I have a lot of friends in chairs. Many are married and have
children. Some have had children post injury. I have not lost hope.
I belong to a local sci support group. We are a young group of people.
ranging from 18 to 70. All of us are very active in our lives. Some work,
some do not. We do not sit on the pity pot at our meetings.

My daughter wants a brother or sister. I would love another child but am a
little leery of the process. But you never know what will happen.
I wish you luck and hope I was a least some help. If I can do any more
please let me know.
mary
----- Original Message -----
From: Becki
To: womenwithsci@yahoogroups.com
Sent: Sunday, January 08, 2006 5:45 PM
Subject: [Women with SCI] Hi, I'm new


My name is Becki. I have an incomplete SCI at the T10 level. Three
years ago I had heart surgery to correct a fatal birth defect and
woke up partially paralyzed, unable to stand, move some ways, feel
some things. After three years I am now walking on crutches. I live
completely independently, work full time, am single and have 2 cats
and a dog.

I've been seeking out support systems because my friends just can't
relate to the problems I have. I've even started a Yahoo group for
people in my area, though there aren't any members yet.

As a single 32 (almost) year old woman who is a major failure in the
dating world (especially post injury), I struggle a lot with
loneliness. I've been thinking a lot lately about either adopting a
child or having one naturally with some help from a donor. My whole
life I always "knew" I would have children, and it's painful to be
32 and not see that dream anywhere close to coming to fruition.

I would be interested in hearing from other women who had children
post injury. What types of adjustments did you make, how do you
handle the things that scare me...like children running away from
you (I can't run), what tools did you find most useful, things like
that. This is just in thinking phase right now...I'm only
considering this as a last resort if I hit 35 and still have no
prospects.

I hope to learn more about the people here. :)
Becki




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