Scary! I can't imagine what you can do other than to keep a close watch on
them and don't alienate the guy so that he makes it impossible for your family
member to see you. I had some friends who had a sister who was married to an
abusive, controlling guy. He actually locked her and her two kids up in a
trailer while he went away for the weekend or week (I can't remember the length
of time). THe guy padlocked the doors from the outside! If there had been a
fire, they all would have died. The family was keeping and eye on her because
they knew he was abusive. They tried to reach her on the phone, but her husband
had disconnected all the phones. Finally they drove over to find out what was
going on and found her in the padlocked trailer. They got her out and she never
went back.

The thing is, you can't alienate the man. At this point she has ignored all
your advise, so trying to convince her that her marriage is a mistake probably
won't help right now. Try to just be a friend and if she needs help, be there
for her. If you keep telling her the guy is bad, she may just disassociate from
you all together and then who will she go to for help when she realizes she has
to get away from him?

Good luck.

kravgrl99898 <kravgrl99898@...> wrote:
Hi I actually have a question for a family member. She recently met
a controlling guy who demands that she call him at a certain time...
is angry when she suggests they end a conversation on the phone
after 5 hours.... there are so many red flags. Anyway..This guy has
such an obsession about getting her pregnant. He says he loves her
and wants children right away (they actually got married today
against my often heard objections) and he said they are going to
keep trying and trying as soon as they get married to get pregnant.
He has sent her very detailed emails on how he would get her
pregant. I know there are healthy couples who want to concieve...
but this is so over the top. Anyway... my question is is that could
this be any way related to his controlling nature? I know that the
most dangerous time for her physically would be while she is
pregnant. Maybe he has a desire to see her weak? I am at a loss...
most abusers view the baby as an intruder and extra strain on the
relationship. This guy is also not so great with kids... I am almost
positive that he does not have a legitimate desire to reproduct. Any
thoughts or opinions would be greatly appreciated. Thankyou.





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