For starters I would get counseling (alone); your husband is obviously very
jealous, insecure and controlling.

I lived like that for 31 years; then got the courage to get a divorce.

The Verbally Abusive Relationship by Patricia Evans, is the book that sved my
life.

When you say he "made you justify"-----No, he cannot "make" you do
anything; you felt you had to to keep the peace, right?

Biggest mistake those of us who are or were in an abusive situation, is that we
spent way too much time trying to figure them out. I did it for 31 years, and
then got it......he did NOT care what I thought or felt. I stopped
communicating
or explaining.

They are very insecure; there is nothing you can do to help them.......they
rarely change. He needs his own therapy.......

you need to get into therapy with a therapist specifically trained in abuse to
help you see what is happening, but of utmost value to me was the
aforementined book.

Hugs, Alice

Abusers want to put you in a position where they make you feel like you have
t justify everything; they are incredibly insecure and jealous.....like little
kids;
they can never have or get enough reassurance that you are not doing wht
they accuse you of.....it never ends. THEY have a problem, and YOU cannot
fix them.