I am a one-year recovering alcoholic who heavily abused vodka and
beer (and whatever I could get my hands on) for a period of about 11
or 12 years. I also suffer from depression, from time to time, and
have had a miserable diet ever since I was 22 and began living "on my
own." I am now 32. Working on the diet... ;-)

I find myself sometimes forgetting several-hour-long periods of time,
conversations with my girlfriend or others, or even entire half-day
periods during times of great stress. I am not at a loss of
physical/muscular control of any sort, but my memory has become so
insubordinate with my consciousness during these "episodes." I am
scared and wondering what the hell could be wrong with me.

Sometimes I will still go for days without appetite of any kind (as I
did when drinking), sleeping only a few hours a day when my body just
shuts down (again, as it was when I was drinking), and I will have a
heart-rate of 120-140 beats per minute for no apparent reason (like
when I was drinking and coming off a binge).

Then, a day or so into it/an episode, I am fine, "normal as ever,"
and fully functioning and able to recall minutiae from my childhood
that even my older siblings and parents have long forgotten. It's
befuddling and scary. I'm scared that this is permanent brain
damage, but also (and not to judge), it is not as if I lived inside a
bottle of booze for 20, 30, or 40 years as so many alcoholics do
before they either recover, start recovering, or die.

Any ideas, anyone? Please mail me. Thank you.