On Tue, Jun 3, 2008 at 12:44 PM, queenteree2 <queenteree2@...> wrote:
> Thank you so much for listening and for your help. He does have
> trouble walking at times, but I attribute that to being drunk. His
> eyes sometimes go off in different directions (really strange) but
> then again, drunkeness can do that too. As for his walking, if he
> tumbles, it could be from being drunk. A close friend of mine (for
> over 35 years) said the other day that she noticed he walks
> different, like an old man or something. Can't put her finger on it,
> but something's different.


My father's ability to walk changed depending on whether he was
drinking, recovering or sober. He would shuffle, or take extremely
short steps when drinking, and use a shopping cart to balance himself.
In the hospital, when his feet were bare, I noticed that his toes
were pointing up off the ground when he walked instead of lying flat
against the ground as they normally did. (Try walking like that; it's
difficult.) That odd phenomenon stopped after a few days of drying
out from the alcohol. He was also very uncoordinated physically. My
guess is that odd behavior like that showed temporary neurological
damage from the alcohol. The physical problems improved over time, but
the memory problems were much longer lasting.

> He can't do menial tasks either, such as
> take a picture w/the camera or he can't figure out why the remote
> control isn't working (it's cause he's not pressing the right
> buttons!). But to listen to him, night after night, not making any
> kind of sense and rambling and repeating, is becoming very
> frustrating to me. It is a life of hell sometimes, and I get to the
> point where I just cry and wish it were all over with. I pray to God
> every day to lift this burden from me, unfortunately, it will only
> come in time.

Have you sought outside help and support? This sounds terrible for you.

I have thought about transferring the deed, but how
> can I get him to sign it when he doesn't realize anything, then he'll
> think I'm trying to pull one over on him or something. Trust me,
> there's no rationalizing with him at all, he doesn't follow not one
> conversation.

Technically, I would not suggest trying to get him to sign any legal
papers if other people would question whether he is mentally competent
to understand the ramifications of what he is signing. The best time
to do this might be when he has stopped drinking for a few days, if he
can remember all the important details, and to get witnesses who can
attest to his state of mind being sound. Unfortunately, it may be too
late to get him to sign any major legal papers. If everyone around
you knows that he is not competent, and if anyone else could lay claim
to the deed, the legality of what he signs could be challenged in
court. You should probably consult with a lawyer about your
situation. (Some lawyers will offer a consultation for free or for low
cost. Counties also may be able to offer low-cost legal services.)

In my father's case, he had signed a Power of Attorney years before he
became incompetent, but it was still necessary for me to seek
conservatorship over his person and his finances in court. During his
last hospitalization, the doctors recommended that he be put into
24-hour care and that I seek conservatorship over his person and
finances in order to do that. The Power of Attorney doesn't enable
you to hospitalize someone who doesn't want to be hospitalized. A
court conservatorship can give you that power, but of course, it is a
huge step and requires medical documentation (which fortunately sounds
available from your husband's doctor). The fact that your husband is
still working could make it very tough to show he is incompetent,
however (even if he actually is).

> He doesn't eat at all for days sometimes,

That is truly dangerous and grounds for hospitalization, I would
think. It really accelerates the impact of the alcohol on his brain
and the thiamine deprivation. My father went downhill fast after
drinking and not eating for several days.


> I truly
> don't know how he functions (and yes, he does work!!!!, don't know
> how, but he does), I think people feel sorry for him. I do too at
> times, but it all becomes much to much. Thanks for listening. Terri


Is your husband driving while drinking? That would be another huge
danger to the public. As the memory gets worse, he'd get more
confused and more dangerous. I think it's really important for family
members to intervene if another family member is a danger to the
public, like by removing all keys to the vehicle and notifying the DMV
of their inability to drive safely.

Terri, if you haven't already done so, talk with a lawyer as well as a
counselor about what you should try to do. You need to take care of
yourself and also protect yourself. This is a really tough situation
you're in, and it would be a good idea to consider some outside input
from qualified people about what should be done.

Take care,
Dana



> --- In wernicke-korsakoff_syndrome@yahoogroups.com, "Bill & Amanda"
> <accp@...> wrote:
>>
>> Since he's still drinking, I think it would be hard. My dad did
> the same
>> things about stories. We didn't know they were stories at the
> time. When
>> he was hospitalized and making up these wild, wild stories, we knew
>> something was wrong and that's when we looked into WKS. Before
> that, the
>> stories were not outrageous and we didn't think anything of them or
> assumed
>> he was drunk.
>>
>>
>>
>> Does he have trouble walking? Does he tremble? How bout his
> eyes? Are
>> they able to focus, or are they droopy? Again, a lot of those
> symptoms are
>> present when a person is drunk, so it's hard to tell. And I've
> said it
>> before, my dad's been to 5 doctors in various hospitals. 3 say he
> has it; 2
>> vehemently deny he has it. I would look up as much as I could, read
>> everything about it, and then try to decide. But it is really hard
> when
>> they're still drinking.
>>
>>
>>
>> It's a long, awful road. Worse than a nightmare. I know a lot of
> people
>> will tell you to get him to stop drinking, but YOU can't. As long
> as you
>> aren't enabling him, there isn't much you can do. Until he damages
> himself
>> enough to have permanent care, he won't stop. Do what you can to
> protect
>> YOU. Put your house in your name alone, get your own bank account,
> get POA
>> of him, medical and shoot, I can't think of it and I work for an
> attorney!!
>> The one where you can sign his name to checks, deeds, etc. Get
> both.
>>
>>
>>
>> We've all been through what you're going through. Sometimes even
> if you
>> just need to vent, we're here.
>>
>>
>>
>> Amanda
>>
>>
>>
>> _____
>>
>> From: wernicke-korsakoff_syndrome@yahoogroups.com
>> [mailto:wernicke-korsakoff_syndrome@yahoogroups.com] On Behalf Of
> Terri r
>> Sent: Tuesday, June 03, 2008 11:20 AM
>> To: wernicke-korsakoff_syndrome@yahoogroups.com
>> Subject: [BULK][wernicke-korsakoff_syndrome] Re: Im not looking to
> find a
>> way to get him to quit drinking, Im loo
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> I sympathize with all of you. I am married to a 54 year old
> alcoholic who
>> has alcoholic liver disease and whose mind I believe is totally not
> there.
>> My husband continues to drink 30 beers per day, repeats himself
> over and
>> over, doesn't remember five minutes later what I tell him, etc. On
> April
>> 17th, our GP told him that if he didn't stop drinking, he'd be dead
> in 6
>> mos. to a year. GP said worst case scenario is if he lives longer,
> cause he
>> could just "linger on" for 3 years. I know my husband will never
> stop
>> drinking (has been in rehab and went to AA, stops only for a week
> at best).
>> I'm just really wondering how to find out if he truly has
> Wernecke's or any
>> other alcohol related illness (such as neuropathy) without him
> going to a
>> dr., since he won't go to one (they always give him "bad news" as
> he says).
>> Last week I went to our GP alone to talk about my husband. GP said
> that
>> hubby could linger on, doesn't know how long, told me to say three
> words to
>> him "apple, penny, chair", talk to him for 5 mins. then ask him
> what the
>> words were. I did that, hubby couldn't remember any of them. It's
> hard to
>> tell whether he can't remember anything cause he's soooo drunk all
> the time
>> or if it's Werneckes. He is also making up stories like how he had
>> breakfast w/his boss (his boss doesn't even like him), how they all
> know he
>> drinks at work, but it's ok, they're gonna give him extra time off
> and how
>> they always praise his work performance. Any suggestions from all
> of you
>> would help if you can help me figure out a way to tell whether it's
>> drunkenness talking or Wernicke's. Thanks. And you're all in my
> prayers.
>>
>> Terri
>>
>
>
>
> ------------------------------------
>
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