Hi,
I'm not sure how I can help but I can tell you my
story.
My dad became ill after returning from a holiday in
Greece.He was 55 then. I thought he had food poisoning
or had picked up a bug or something (I live 60 miles
away). It turns out for the next few weeks he didn't
eat but continued to drink heavily and by the time I
realised how ill he was it was too late in some
respects. When he was admitted to hosp he couldn't
walk, feed himself and was hoisted out of bed. He
didn't know who I was and had a 2 second
memory..literally! Anyway he was in hosp for 33 weeks
mainly because I couldn't find a care home that would
meet his needs. By the time he left he was walking,
and no longer confused and regained some of his memory
although still has poor short term memory. He was in
24hr care for two years and then last Feb social
services decided he could live alone (as he wanted)
with carers going in to him... in reality I pick up a
lot of the things that keep him living alone in
relative safety.
He still drinks, at the moment hes back up to about 2
- 3 litres of vodka a week and a couple of litres of
cider a week...I have lost touch with 'normality' over
this....does that seem a lot?? I limit how much he
drinks only by the amount of 'pocket money' he gets
but that doesn't work. Amazing how he can't remember
if the carer has been, if he has had his meds, what
post has come but he knows when there is no alcohol in
the house! When he was in the care home they let him
purchase alcohol as that is his human right (even
though under court of protection cuz doesn't have
mental capacity and ultimately it's going to kill
him).
I don't have the answers, but a social worker is the
first step I guess and then see what the hosp says. I
live in the UK so I guess the laws are different here
but you should tell the dr/sw your concerns about your
mothers husband (what health is he in?).
I'm still going through the anger/guilt/frustration
thing nearly four years on... i'm not sure it goes
away.
Let us know how you get on at your meeting x
--- shortybiker42 <shortybiker42@...> wrote:

> First, thanks in advance if you take the time to
> read my ranting. I
> hope I don't scare anyone away before I can get the
> help I
> desperately need.
>
> My mother has been a chronic alcoholic for as far
> back as I can
> remember. She is now 62 years old and has just been
> hospitalized
> with the classic symptoms of Korsakoff's syndrome.
> I had no idea
> about this syndrome prior to coming home from the
> hospital tonight
> and searching her symptoms - "alcohol, thyroid,
> delusion". When I
> came across this syndrome I knew it was it.
>
> I need to give you a bit of history so that you can
> understand my
> dilemma.
>
> As those of you with an affected loved one can
> imagine, my
> relationship with my mother has been difficult, and
> her having mental
> health issues compounded our issues. At one
> point, years ago, I
> fully removed myself from her life for the sake of
> my own mental
> health. After 4 years of torturing myself with if
> she was even still
> alive I did re-enter her life (in a long distance
> way) to find that
> she had remarried, was medicated and was (I thought)
> being forbade
> liqueur more than once a week. We are now 10 years
> later.
>
> To the point at hand…
>
> I usually talk with my mother a few times a week and
> visit every
> couple of months. The last time I was there was in
> December
> finishing up a dress for her Christmas gift. She
> was ok, for her,
> but weak and told me that she was going to her Dr.
> for tests. She
> complained of not having much of an appetite and not
> being able to
> walk for any huge distances. But while I was there
> she did eat and
> was able to stand for her dress fitting so I
> foolishly assumed that
> she was just getting older and knowing her history
> of abuse I assumed
> that these were probably the normal results for an
> aging alcoholic.
> Both she and her husband assured me that she was
> seeing her Dr.
> regularly and that they were searching for a cause.
>
>
> After that visit I had my usual calls with her but
> the first week of
> January when I called she got on the phone she said
> - "I know what I
> want for Christmas". I thought to myself first -
> she's drunk so hang
> up and I ended the conversation. Then I started to
> wonder about
> early Alzheimer's. I wasn't too worried for her
> safety or anything
> like this, again going on the assumption that she
> was seeing her Dr.
> (completely my fault). The next couple of times I
> called she would
> tell me that she wasn't eating too good and that her
> Dr. had ordered
> an MRI to check out her neck and throat. I hoped
> for the best and
> tried to be patient hoping for a diagnosis and her
> getting better.
>
> This brings us to yesterday.
>
> Her husband called me. A first for everything rite?
> Well, he
> sounded worried and said "she won't eat, maybe you
> can talk to her".
> When he put her on the phone and I heard her little
> weak, mousy voice
> say hello I asked her "are you ok, you have to try
> to eat something"
> her response was "daytime or nighttime".
> My heart fell in my lap. I told her "mom you have
> to eat something"
> and she didn't respond so I asked her to put her
> husband back on the
> phone and she just started saying "yeah, yeah?"
> Finally she put him
> on the phone and I told him to hang up and dial 911
> because there is
> something really wrong with her. They took her to
> the hospital and I
> went down there.
>
> My mother was a rail. She reeked of urine. Her
> skin was like tissue
> paper. Her hands were like ice and she could hardly
> keep her head
> up. She could not hold a conversation being
> completely confused, but
> was too weak to be anything but calm as a cucumber.
> I though she was
> dying.
>
> In the usual admittance procedures I found that not
> only did she not
> have any appetite but that she actually hadn't eaten
> anything of
> significance since Christmas. I thought to myself
> how is it possible
> that she is still even alive without any food. But
> later in that day
> I found out how. She was living off of vodka and
> iced tea
> highballs. Her husband admitted to me and the
> doctors in the ER that
> she has for years been insisting on a drink by her
> bedside for wakeup
> and at least 8 shots a day. I am OUTSIDE myself
> with anger, guilt,
> frustration, fear, you name it.
>
> My dilemma? I have to get my mother help. From
> what I just learned
> about this syndrome, her symptoms, and the fact that
> the first
> courses of treatment for her have been I.V fluids
> with dextrose and a
> B1 shot, leads me to believe this is what we're
> dealing with here.
> She is safe now in the hospital, but if they let her
> go what then? I
> mentioned to her husband even prior to learning
> about the severity of
> her situation that it may be best for them to get
> some home health
> care a couple/few times a week so that she can be
> bathed and fed and
> looked after for her health, but his attitude is
> that he don't want
> anybody in "his" house (not). He has always been a
> bit controlling
> (part of the reason I don't visit more often) and
> throughout the day
> he insisted that he's been caring for her and they
> don't need any
> help. I am really terrified that if she starts
> coming around from
> the B1 (and I hope and pray for that miracle) her
> alcoholism is going
> to take her rite back home to a bottle of vodka.
> And he will be more
> than happy to fix it for her.
>
> I have to get her help.
>
> I learned from talking with the Dr's last night and
> today that PA
> doesn't have any laws prohibitting a person from
> drinking themselves
> to death, and with her husbands rights probably
> coming before mine as
> a child of hers I am so lost.
>
> What should I do next? I do plan on talking with a
> social worker
> tomorrow I hope, but what's the best way to deal
> with this? I just
> want to try to be prepared. I know it's late and
> I'll be leaving for
> the hospital tomorrow morning, so I'm hoping there's
> a few late
> nighter's out there with some advice for me.
>
> Please anybody.
>
>



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