apologies to anyone who got a privat e mail from me, i should have
realised i could post a group message first. a case of too little sleep.
My phobioa and i kind of dont feel happy or comfortable being brought
up to be feminine and have good social graces. That didn't stop though
the ritual degradation this sick world forced on me. sorry if this is
t m i,
I have ADHD amongst other things including an epilepsy like condition.
Serendipity is what i like to known as as it has a nice free sweet
sounding name to it. I have no idea what anyone will think and
apologies if the thought is unplesant i am depserately dont wish to be
viewed with the thought she is
being unnatural and obscene. *deep breath* i have a lingerie phobia..i
see the shops and the adverts of happy people purchasing, and i
deperately wish to be a normal person but its just i think too much
for me. I end up sobbing and heartbroken that i can not be normal. Its
led in the past to unmitigated rage against myself and my arms are
coverd in scars where i cut myself in desperation of feeling
something. I want so much to be pritty and attractive, but i feel
asense of isolation and self disgust that i could want to be
*normal*.I would just love once not to have to want to be anything or
wear a pritty garment to feel normal,
its alot more complex than i have put down but i am sure that i will
feel better for coming clean. apologies to everyone for just putting
them off their lunch