I would give anything if I could open up my e-mail and find an ostomy
forum, like this is started, to post on and ask questions staying with
ostomy related subject. My husband is a member of a KTOG Firearms forum and
if an ostomy forum could be designed to a discussion group would be great.
So many questions and answers are needed out here for everyday use, for to
an ostomist, no 2 days are alike. At least I have had my colostomy over a
year now and I haven't had 2 days in a row alike yet. Thanks! Nancy
----- Original Message -----
From: "Lee Tromans" <leebo446@...>
To: <ukostomysupport@yahoogroups.com>
Sent: Friday, April 08, 2005 10:02 AM
Subject: Re: [UK Ostomy Support ] Southernisms


>
> The Southernisms were funny. My niece and nephew
> recently moved South. They had a power outage and
> called the power company. They were told "we are fixen
> to put you on a list" Us Northerners don't know what
> that means---am I on a list? When will I be on a list?
> I guess asking when power will be restored is out of
> the question as you are only fixen to put me on a
> list. I laugh every time I think of this.
> Thanks,
> Lee (leebo446)
> --- anangelseyes <Af12dlite@...> wrote:
>> SOUTHERNISMS
>>
>>
>> Well, butter my behind and call me a biscuit.
>>
>> He fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch
>> on the way down.
>>
>> Have a cup of coffee - it's already been 'saucered
>> and blowed.'
>>
>> She's so stuck up, she'd drown in a rainstorm.
>>
>> It's so dry, the trees are bribing the dogs.
>>
>> My cow died last night, so I don't need your bull.
>>
>> He's as country as cornflakes.
>>
>> This is gooder'n grits. If things get any better, I
>> may have to hire
>> someone to help me enjoy it.
>>
>> I'm 'bout as........ Nervus as a long tailed cat in
>> a room full of rocking
>> chairs.
>> Busy as a moth in a mitten. Happy as a clam at high
>> tide.
>>
>> Advice for Northerners moving to the South:
>>
>> Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be
>> instructed on how to use it
>> shortly.
>> Just because you can drive on snow and ice does not
>> mean Southerners can.
>> Stay home the two days of the year it snows.
>>
>> If you DO run your car into a ditch, don't panic.
>> Four men in the cab of a
>> four-wheel pick-up with a 12-pack of beer and a tow
>> chain will be along
>> shortly. Don't try to help them. Just stay out of
>> their way. This is what
>> they live for.
>>
>> You can ask Southerners for directions, but unless
>> you already know the
>> positions of key hills, trees and rocks, you're
>> better off trying to find it
>> yourself.
>>
>> Remember: Y'all is singular. All y'all is plural.
>> All y'all's is plural
>> possessive.
>>
>> Get used to hearing, "You ain't from around here,
>> are you?"
>>
>> Don't be worried that you don't understand anyone.
>> They don't understand
>> you either.
>>
>> The first Southern _expression to creep into a
>> transplanted Northerner's
>> vocabulary is the adjective "big ol'", as in "big
>> ol' truck", or "big ol'
>> boy".
>> "Fixin'" (as in "I'm fixin' to go to the store") is
>> 2nd, and "Y'all" is
>> 3rd.
>>
>> As you are cursing the person driving 15 mph in a
>> 55 mph zone directly in
>> the middle of the road, remember: ALL Southern folks
>> learned to drive on a
>> John Deere, and this is the proper speed and lane
>> position for that vehicle.
>>
>> If you hear a Southerner exclaim, "Hey, y'all,
>> watch this!", get out of his
>> way. These are likely the last words he will ever
>> say, or worse still, that
>> you will ever hear.
>>
>> Most Southerners do not use turn signals; they
>> ignore those who do. In
>> fact, if you see a signal blinking on a car with a
>> Southern license plate,
>> you may rest assured that it was already turned on
>> when the car was
>> purchased.
>>
>> If it can't be fried in bacon grease, it ain't
>> worth cooking, let alone
>> eating. If there is the prediction of the slightest
>> chance of even the most
>> minuscule accumulation of snow, your presence is
>> required at the local
>> grocery store. It does not matter if you need
>> anything from the store. It is
>> just something you're supposed to do. Satellite
>> dishes are very popular in
>> the South. When you purchase one, it is positioned
>> directly in front the
>> house. This is logical, bearing in mind that the
>> dish cost considerably more
>> than the house and should, therefore, be prominently
>> displayed.
>>
>> One last warning but probably the most important
>> one to remember: Be
>> advised that in the South, "He needed killin'" is a
>> valid defense.
>>
>>
>>
>
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