Many recovery houses still use Push Up to support one another.

jedicowboybw <bdogwilmut@...> wrote:

"Push Up" is a term that is a positive awarness statement used in therapeutic communities. Therapeutic community is a treatment concept used in prisons, crmincal justice programs, and also support houses. It is a peer driven concept where community members are responsible for holding eachother accountable for their negative bahaviors, and also "push eachother up" for thier positive behaviors. It has been one of the most effective treatment modalities used in the 90's through present day. If you have ever heard of Synanon which was one of the first therapeutic communities that was started in California in the late 50's -early sixties. In a way 12-step programs follow the same type of theory.

--- In twelvestepsoulfood4thespirit@yahoogroups.com, P Patterson <mspjpatterson@...> wrote:
>
> Thanks Jedi,
>
> Now, you simply have to tell me what you mean when you say "Push Up". I don't remember joining a boot camp. I know I did some crazy sh*t but that wasn't one of them. LOL
>
> I loved your story of encouragement to the two new comers. I'm still working on the isolating. I've switched from drinking in isolation to choosing to be isolated because I feel encased. I have not learned how to let go and get out of that behavior.
>
> Please just keep me in your prayers.
>
> With love in recovery,
>
> Prescilla
>
>
>
>
> jedicowboybw bdogwilmut@... wrote:
> Push Up Prescilla,
> I was talking to two people last night who had relapsed, and though they had two seperate situations, there was one common theme. Not haveing healthy people around them. One had been isolating from others, and one had been hanging around his old friends. I told both of them that if they would follow the suggestions of the program and go to meetings, get a sponsor, call a support team member, and get around "winners", it will be much easier to work the program.
> You said an interesting word, "permission" in your share. That is exacty what Isolation and old friends give us in a negative way. They give us permission to fail. Like you said, those old timers gave you permission to work the steps and heal.
> isn't it interesting though how that word "permission" works. I have a funny thing that I did in early recovery, the first year I was sober, I had a roach in my ashtray in the car. I knew it was there, I thought about getting rid of it, but I would always convieniently forget about it. Finnaly one day, I did, and thank god I never found the right situation that would give me "permission" to use. It is funny how our addict minds will set us up like that, set reservations that are just waiting for the right moment.
> Any Ways, Thanks for letting me share,
> Bryan W. / Jedi Cowboy
>
> --- In twelvestepsoulfood4thespirit@yahoogroups.com, P Patterson mspjpatterson@ wrote:
> >
> > "I am having a problem connecting with people in the rooms,
> > do I need to make the same meetings every week?
> > I am not connecting and feel like an outsider, I don't understand why?"
> >
> > * * *
> >
> > Dearest Family,
> >
> > Prescilla - alcoholic (DOS 9/25/04) just chiming in. LOL
> >
> > I don't know if anyone noticed but "getting involved" and "connecting" is really not a problem for me. However, it took these rooms for me to feel comfortable enough to reach out for the help that I needed and still need from people in these rooms. That meant I had to come out of myself long enough to connect to the people that understood my plight.
> >
> > I would sit and listen but my stubborn ass didn't want to learn any thing. I was so deep into denial that I couldn't see the forest for the trees. Much to my dismay I learned that people in these rooms are sick (some sicker than me =) and hopefully looking for a way to get well. I was told by an old timer "stick with the winners kid and you will get this program". That's what I get for attending the old timers meeting everyday. To them, I was the kid. =)
> >
> > That was great advice but I didn't have the slightest clue "how" to do what he said. I couldn't love myself let alone talk to people and relate. I'd lost everything in my life that I was barely hanging onto. I was a pile of fear and tears. Mostly tears because not only had I lost my best friend and lover alcohol, but the man I considered the love of my life -- my soulmate.
> >
> > Another old timer saw my tears and he came up and gave me a hug. He looked at my tear soaked face and told me, "Don't worry. We will love you until you can love yourself." Oh what an ephiphany! I didn't have to work at loving me, I just needed to get better. For some reason, that gave me permission to work with a sponsor going through the steps. It gave me permission to work at the deep black hole that was in my soul for seemingly all my life. It gave me permission to find this higher power or God that everyone was talking about. I knew that someone would love me while I was doing this, therefore I could forget about "me" long enough to work on me from the inside. I didn't love me anyway...so in my mind, I was free to accomplish this. <<laugh>> Whatever it takes, right?
> >
> > With all the permission to work on my inside, gee, guess what? Everyone looked, sounded, and acted different on the outside. Like Bill W. says in his story, it was like the scales were peeled off his eyes. I was blessed to have people come up to me! People actually wanted to know how I was doing. With this change, I was given more permission to share, to open up to people, to talk with people freely once again. I don't know if you noticed, talking is not an issue for me. =)
> >
> > For my job, I have to network for survival in the business world. I always prided myself on being able to keep a selection of "key" people in my life that could help in the long run. Thanks to these rooms, I don't have to do that. I have a power greater than me, sending the "winners" directly to my path in my sobriety, my personal, and my professional life. Many of those winners, I already have in my life. My mother, brother, daughter, friends that I've known for a while; all have seen different aspects of my disease. Some of them were there through the worst times of my life and just listened. When the rubber needed to meet the road, it was my mother that dug in deep and just guided me out. She didn't enable or try to save me, she just loved me and kept me encouraged -- and she's never been through AA or recovery but she is an alcoholic sober 25+ years. All of these people have expressed their greatest admiration for my efforts with AA. Thanks to these rooms, I was able
> > to accept their love and admiration for me. I was finally starting to love me.
> >
> > My fears are limited now to my own selfish and self centered thoughts, doubts, and the head commitee trying to keep me in a state of confusion. Staying focused on some days, especially today, is not easy but I will do the best I can to surrender the things I can't control and reach out to the sources where my help and strength come from; God and these rooms.
> >
> > Thank you for letting me share.
> >
> > With love in recovery,
> >
> > Prescilla
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > - Great Spirit, You are my peace and you dwell within me. Let me look for You within myself.
> >
>
>
>
> As you are aware of, this is a fairly busy list, with lots of emails each day. I know a lot of people can be overwhelmed by the amount of emails they receive on lists and it can make you want to unsubscribe.
>
> To help make your life easier (and less stressful) there are options for your group mail.
>
> 1.You can pick to read on the 'web only'...you get NO emails to your email program, you simply login to yahoo at http://groups.yahoo.com/mygroups and click on the group that you want to read, then you would click on "messages" in the sidebar on the left.
>
> 2.You can subscribe as 'daily digest'. With this option, you get one or two emails daily, which include all the emails to the group, you just get to read them in bunches instead of individually. Also there are no graphics or pictures.
>
> To choose either of these options, you go to your groups page at http://groups.yahoo.com/mygroups , then click "edit my groups" on the on title bar, then under "message delivery" there will be a drop down list, click on the checkmark and it will show your options.. you can choose:
>
> individual emails
>
> daily digest
>
> special notices- web only but you will get special notices to your inbox.
>
> no email - read on the site only.
>
> Its as simple as that.
>
> Make sure you click on 'save changes' at the bottom of the page and you can exit.
>
> If you ever need any help, Im an email away. I can also help you set up your mail delivery settings.
>
>
> In loving service,
> Scott
> YOUnMEnHP@...
>
>
>
> ---------------------------------
> YAHOO! GROUPS LINKS
>
>
> Visit your group "twelvestepsoulfood4thespirit" on the web.
>
> To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
> twelvestepsoulfood4thespirit-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com
>
> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.
>
>
> ---------------------------------
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> - Great Spirit, You are my peace and you dwell within me. Let me look for You within myself.
>

---

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As you are aware of, this is a fairly busy list, with lots of emails each day.  I know a lot of people can be overwhelmed by the amount of emails they receive on lists and it can make you want to unsubscribe.

To help make your life easier (and less stressful) there are options for your group mail.

1.You can pick to read on the 'web only'...you get NO emails to your email program, you simply login to yahoo at http://groups.yahoo.com/mygroups and click on the group that you want to read, then you would click on "messages" in the sidebar on the left.

2.You can subscribe as 'daily digest'.  With this option, you get one or two emails daily, which include all the emails to the group, you just get to read them in bunches instead of individually. Also there are no graphics or pictures.

To choose either of these options, you go to your groups page at http://groups.yahoo.com/mygroups , then click "edit my groups" on the on title bar, then under "message delivery" there will be a drop down list, click on the checkmark and it will show your options.. you can choose:

individual emails

daily digest

special notices- web only but you will get special notices to your inbox.

no email - read on the site only.

Its as simple as that.

Make sure you click on 'save changes' at the bottom of the page and you can exit.

If you ever need any help, Im an email away. I can also help you set up your mail delivery settings.


In loving service,
Scott
YOUnMEnHP@...

Great sharing on this step 3 Jedi, Presella, Judy and anyone I may have forgotten. Actually due to time restraints I rarely answer Scott's wonderful questions. but:

 

For me step 3 is all about surrendering to a power greater than me. Surrender to be free and we all know when we were running our lives how well things went.

About 11 years ago when I lost my son, I was having a really difficult time letting go and letting God. I just could or would not surrender or turn this over to God. I call my sponsor every morning at 6:30am. One morning after yet another day on my pity pot my sponsor told me.  Do you have a wire hanger? I said yes and she said go into your closet and take it out and straighten it. She patiently hung on as I kind of called her names under my breath. Then she told me to go into my linen closet and take out a white wash rag and staple the white wash rag to my hanger. Then it dawned on me that this was a visual tool of surrendering to something greater than myself. I was really angry at God for taking my son away.

Through the years my sponsor has had me wave that flag when my stubborn alcoholic mind wants to run the show. Today as I am feeling the loss of my mother three weeks ago, I seem to once again be waving that flag much more these days. I am powerless over life and death. God is in charge and yes slowly I surrender each day to a power greater than me. Thank God for the 12 step fellowship.

jedicowboybw <bdogwilmut@...> wrote:

Hello All, I just thought I'd share a little about step 3. Step 3 can look very scarey to us at first, esspecially going back to something I shared about earlier in the week, how as addictis we seem to make things seem bigger and worse than they really are.

I know that when I first looked at step 3, I for sure thought I would never be able to turn my will and my life over. I struggled with this for a while, thinking, how is it that I am turning my will and my life over, yet I still let self will run riot all the time. I think that I took this step to mean that I have to trust GOD 100%, and be perfect at it. "All or Nothing thinking right?"

Finnaly I had someone tell me to give myself a break, your not turning your will and your life over to God today, probably not tomorrow either (at least not all of it).

You are making a decision, not an action. When you think about it, there really hasn't been a whole lot of action in the first three steps, it is more about honesty, denial, personal responsibility, and understanding of certain concepts. From step 4 on, are the actions that are the process of turning our wills and our lives over to the care of GOD as we understand him.

Making a decision is more about understanding what I will be doing next. I can make a decision to write in my journal every day, or eat green peas (yuck) every day, but unless I continue on with the nessesarry actions, I will not continue to do these things. (i don't eat peas every day, but I do like the journal).

Any Ways, I hope all that made sense, it made sense to me when I was being taught. I know now that turninig my will and my life is a daily process that I am still no where near perfected. Every time I do my will, I am essentially being agnostic, but the more I stay connected, the more I do the actions of the program, the better I get at it.

Thanks For Letting Me Share,

Bryan W / Jedi Cowboy

 

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I just to say hi to everyone. I'm knew to this AA online deal, just
trying to feel my way around. I thought I might tell a little about
me. I came to this program in 2003 for the first time. I guess I had
to see if anything change becouse I went out drinking again until
recently. I'm back and pretty sure I'm in it for the long haul. Thanks
for letting me share.

Hopefully, you have both learned and grown. Wishing you the best!

"Chuck B." <xtrelanex@...> wrote:

I'm 49, Lori is 39.  It will be the second marriage for both of us.

 

Chuck

 

 

-----Original Message-----
From: twelvestepsoulfood4thespirit@yahoogroups.com [mailto:twelvestepsoulfood4thespirit@yahoogroups.com]On Behalf Of connie amstone
Sent: Tuesday, February 28, 2006 7:03 PM
To: twelvestepsoulfood4thespirit@yahoogroups.com
Subject: RE: [TwelveStepSoulFood4 theSpirit] Topic: Forgiveness

How wonderful there is hope for me yet Chuck . Do you mind me asking how old are you? Lori? Congratulations and take many pictures for posting on the site in August.

"Chuck B." <xtrelanex@...> wrote:

No, but I do watch "Survivorman"!  I'm like you:  I use my DVRs (I have 2) to watch ALL my TV.  I can't rely on network scheduling to fit into my life!

 

What's up with Grisly Man?  Never heard of it.

 

Chuck B.

 

PS:  I'm in my second relationship in recovery and I have 9 1/2 years.  The first one lasted almost 8 years and was pretty good (nyeh ~) and now I'm happier than a drug addict locked in a Merck warehouse!  We  Lori and I are getting married in August (I think).  So don't give up - but nobody's perfect, that's for sure!  (Except me, of course.)

 

 

-----Original Message-----
From: twelvestepsoulfood4thespirit@yahoogroups.com [mailto:twelvestepsoulfood4thespirit@yahoogroups.com]On Behalf Of jedicowboybw
Sent: Tuesday, February 28, 2006 3:58 PM
To: twelvestepsoulfood4thespirit@yahoogroups.com
Subject: Re: [TwelveStepSoulFood4 theSpirit] Topic: Forgiveness

Hey Chuck, I am going to set my DVR for this show, that sounds interesting. I don't watch that much TV, I'm like you, I like the discovery stuff and history channel, food network "iron chef" is the bomb!

Any way, have you seen that show "Grisly Man" on discovery? I found some recovery/addiction stuff in that story, it is far out though.
--- In twelvestepsoulfood4thespirit@yahoogroups.com, "Chuck B." <xtrelanex@...> wrote:
>
> The only TV I watch are generally the documentaries: History, Discovery, etc. Someone turned me and Lori on to Boston Legal about 4 months ago (Tuesdays at 10, ABC) and it is GREAT! It tackles some pretty deep social issues each week with intelligence and wit, and my only objection is that the good guys almost always win (which people like you and I know just doesn't happen all the time!).
>
> And I usually HATE episodic TV - I really don't like to plan my week around a TV show so I don't miss what happens.
>
> Chuck B.
>
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: twelvestepsoulfood4thespirit@yahoogroups.com [mailto:twelvestepsoulfood4thespirit@yahoogroups.com]On Behalf Of P Patterson
> Sent: Monday, February 27, 2006 10:57 PM
> To: twelvestepsoulfood4thespirit@yahoogroups.com
> Subject: RE: [TwelveStepSoulFood4 theSpirit] Topic: Forgiveness
>
>
> That's so true Chuck. I still have all the damn bruises from hitting my bottom. That's the reason why I don't want to go back.
>
> Boston Legal? Never heard of it. But I don't watch tv so that doesn't help.
>
>
>
> "Chuck B." xtrelanex@... wrote:
> Not that this is even remotely equivalent in importance to what is being discussed, but the topic if enabling reminds me of something I saw on one of my favorite TV shows (I only have 3) last week: Does anyone watch Boston Legal? Did anybody watch last week when Renee Aberjonois was reunited with his drug addict daughter after 7 years? He had cut her off because she stole from him and abused him to support her habit, which is exactly what he should have done, IMHO.
>
> The daughter, however, was FURIOUS with him for cutting her off, even after 7 years of being clean and sober, not even so much as telling him that he had a 2 year old grand daughter. She said he had "abandoned" her right at the time she needed him most -- and shaken her "faith" in her father. At the end of the show, the two were still unreconciled, but there was some relief for the viewer when Candice Bergen's character reassured the Renee Aberjonois character that his daughter was clean and sober because of what he had done and if she couldn't see that, he should at least forgive himself.
>
> I sat there slack jawed in disbelief as I witnessed the daughter yelling at her father that he had "abandoned her" wondering what fellowship she attended (hah!) and how on Earth she could stay clean that long without any semblance of the steps. I felt she should be on her knees thanking her father for the courage that helped to save her life. I was SO astounded I found the whole episode totally Unbelievable and I didn't think it sent out a clear message to the millions of parents and families with the courage to let their addict families write "their own stories."
>
> Nobody gets clean until they are allowed to hit their bottom.
>
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: twelvestepsoulfood4thespirit@yahoogroups.com [mailto:twelvestepsoulfood4thespirit@yahoogroups.com]On Behalf Of connie amstone
> Sent: Monday, February 27, 2006 2:55 PM
> To: twelvestepsoulfood4thespirit@yahoogroups.com
> Subject: Re: [TwelveStepSoulFood4 theSpirit] Topic: Forgiveness
>
>
> Thanks Carol, My father continues to enable my younger brother 41 and my sister who is 45 both meth addicts. Funny, before my mom died he blamed my mom for enabling my brother and sister but now he continues to do the same. I can just pray they will find the rooms. After my meth addict son died in 92 I paid my brother and sister $10 an hour to attend NA with me for around a year. They still did not get it and I ran out of spare money and the truth hurt when my sponsor confronted me about it.
>
>
> ---------------------------------
> Yahoo! Mail
> Bring photos to life! New PhotoMail makes sharing a breeze.
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> - Great Spirit, You are my peace and you dwell within me. Let me look for You within myself.
>
>
> As you are aware of, this is a fairly busy list, with lots of emails each day. I know a lot of people can be overwhelmed by the amount of emails they receive on lists and it can make you want to unsubscribe.
>
> To help make your life easier (and less stressful) there are options for your group mail.
>
> 1.You can pick to read on the 'web only'...you get NO emails to your email program, you simply login to yahoo at http://groups.yahoo.com/mygroups and click on the group that you want to read, then you would click on "messages" in the sidebar on the left.
>
> 2.You can subscribe as 'daily digest'. With this option, you get one or two emails daily, which include all the emails to the group, you just get to read them in bunches instead of individually. Also there are no graphics or pictures.
>
> To choose either of these options, you go to your groups page at http://groups.yahoo.com/mygroups , then click "edit my groups" on the on title bar, then under "message delivery" there will be a drop down list, click on the checkmark and it will show your options.. you can choose:
>
> individual emails
>
> daily digest
>
> special notices- web only but you will get special notices to your inbox.
>
> no email - read on the site only.
>
> Its as simple as that.
>
> Make sure you click on 'save changes' at the bottom of the page and you can exit.
>
> If you ever need any help, Im an email away. I can also help you set up your mail delivery settings.
>
>
> In loving service,
> Scott
> YOUnMEnHP@...
>
>
>
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"Push Up" is a term that is a positive awarness statement used in therapeutic communities. Therapeutic community is a treatment concept used in prisons, crmincal justice programs, and also support houses. It is a peer driven concept where community members are responsible for holding eachother accountable for their negative bahaviors, and also "push eachother up" for thier positive behaviors. It has been one of the most effective treatment modalities used in the 90's through present day. If you have ever heard of Synanon which was one of the first therapeutic communities that was started in California in the late 50's -early sixties. In a way 12-step programs follow the same type of theory.

--- In twelvestepsoulfood4thespirit@yahoogroups.com, P Patterson <mspjpatterson@...> wrote:
>
> Thanks Jedi,
>
> Now, you simply have to tell me what you mean when you say "Push Up". I don't remember joining a boot camp. I know I did some crazy sh*t but that wasn't one of them. LOL
>
> I loved your story of encouragement to the two new comers. I'm still working on the isolating. I've switched from drinking in isolation to choosing to be isolated because I feel encased. I have not learned how to let go and get out of that behavior.
>
> Please just keep me in your prayers.
>
> With love in recovery,
>
> Prescilla
>
>
>
>
> jedicowboybw bdogwilmut@... wrote:
> Push Up Prescilla,
> I was talking to two people last night who had relapsed, and though they had two seperate situations, there was one common theme. Not haveing healthy people around them. One had been isolating from others, and one had been hanging around his old friends. I told both of them that if they would follow the suggestions of the program and go to meetings, get a sponsor, call a support team member, and get around "winners", it will be much easier to work the program.
> You said an interesting word, "permission" in your share. That is exacty what Isolation and old friends give us in a negative way. They give us permission to fail. Like you said, those old timers gave you permission to work the steps and heal.
> isn't it interesting though how that word "permission" works. I have a funny thing that I did in early recovery, the first year I was sober, I had a roach in my ashtray in the car. I knew it was there, I thought about getting rid of it, but I would always convieniently forget about it. Finnaly one day, I did, and thank god I never found the right situation that would give me "permission" to use. It is funny how our addict minds will set us up like that, set reservations that are just waiting for the right moment.
> Any Ways, Thanks for letting me share,
> Bryan W. / Jedi Cowboy
>
> --- In twelvestepsoulfood4thespirit@yahoogroups.com, P Patterson mspjpatterson@ wrote:
> >
> > "I am having a problem connecting with people in the rooms,
> > do I need to make the same meetings every week?
> > I am not connecting and feel like an outsider, I don't understand why?"
> >
> > * * *
> >
> > Dearest Family,
> >
> > Prescilla - alcoholic (DOS 9/25/04) just chiming in. LOL
> >
> > I don't know if anyone noticed but "getting involved" and "connecting" is really not a problem for me. However, it took these rooms for me to feel comfortable enough to reach out for the help that I needed and still need from people in these rooms. That meant I had to come out of myself long enough to connect to the people that understood my plight.
> >
> > I would sit and listen but my stubborn ass didn't want to learn any thing. I was so deep into denial that I couldn't see the forest for the trees. Much to my dismay I learned that people in these rooms are sick (some sicker than me =) and hopefully looking for a way to get well. I was told by an old timer "stick with the winners kid and you will get this program". That's what I get for attending the old timers meeting everyday. To them, I was the kid. =)
> >
> > That was great advice but I didn't have the slightest clue "how" to do what he said. I couldn't love myself let alone talk to people and relate. I'd lost everything in my life that I was barely hanging onto. I was a pile of fear and tears. Mostly tears because not only had I lost my best friend and lover alcohol, but the man I considered the love of my life -- my soulmate.
> >
> > Another old timer saw my tears and he came up and gave me a hug. He looked at my tear soaked face and told me, "Don't worry. We will love you until you can love yourself." Oh what an ephiphany! I didn't have to work at loving me, I just needed to get better. For some reason, that gave me permission to work with a sponsor going through the steps. It gave me permission to work at the deep black hole that was in my soul for seemingly all my life. It gave me permission to find this higher power or God that everyone was talking about. I knew that someone would love me while I was doing this, therefore I could forget about "me" long enough to work on me from the inside. I didn't love me anyway...so in my mind, I was free to accomplish this. <<laugh>> Whatever it takes, right?
> >
> > With all the permission to work on my inside, gee, guess what? Everyone looked, sounded, and acted different on the outside. Like Bill W. says in his story, it was like the scales were peeled off his eyes. I was blessed to have people come up to me! People actually wanted to know how I was doing. With this change, I was given more permission to share, to open up to people, to talk with people freely once again. I don't know if you noticed, talking is not an issue for me. =)
> >
> > For my job, I have to network for survival in the business world. I always prided myself on being able to keep a selection of "key" people in my life that could help in the long run. Thanks to these rooms, I don't have to do that. I have a power greater than me, sending the "winners" directly to my path in my sobriety, my personal, and my professional life. Many of those winners, I already have in my life. My mother, brother, daughter, friends that I've known for a while; all have seen different aspects of my disease. Some of them were there through the worst times of my life and just listened. When the rubber needed to meet the road, it was my mother that dug in deep and just guided me out. She didn't enable or try to save me, she just loved me and kept me encouraged -- and she's never been through AA or recovery but she is an alcoholic sober 25+ years. All of these people have expressed their greatest admiration for my efforts with AA. Thanks to these rooms, I was able
> > to accept their love and admiration for me. I was finally starting to love me.
> >
> > My fears are limited now to my own selfish and self centered thoughts, doubts, and the head commitee trying to keep me in a state of confusion. Staying focused on some days, especially today, is not easy but I will do the best I can to surrender the things I can't control and reach out to the sources where my help and strength come from; God and these rooms.
> >
> > Thank you for letting me share.
> >
> > With love in recovery,
> >
> > Prescilla
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > - Great Spirit, You are my peace and you dwell within me. Let me look for You within myself.
> >
>
>
>
> As you are aware of, this is a fairly busy list, with lots of emails each day. I know a lot of people can be overwhelmed by the amount of emails they receive on lists and it can make you want to unsubscribe.
>
> To help make your life easier (and less stressful) there are options for your group mail.
>
> 1.You can pick to read on the 'web only'...you get NO emails to your email program, you simply login to yahoo at http://groups.yahoo.com/mygroups and click on the group that you want to read, then you would click on "messages" in the sidebar on the left.
>
> 2.You can subscribe as 'daily digest'. With this option, you get one or two emails daily, which include all the emails to the group, you just get to read them in bunches instead of individually. Also there are no graphics or pictures.
>
> To choose either of these options, you go to your groups page at http://groups.yahoo.com/mygroups , then click "edit my groups" on the on title bar, then under "message delivery" there will be a drop down list, click on the checkmark and it will show your options.. you can choose:
>
> individual emails
>
> daily digest
>
> special notices- web only but you will get special notices to your inbox.
>
> no email - read on the site only.
>
> Its as simple as that.
>
> Make sure you click on 'save changes' at the bottom of the page and you can exit.
>
> If you ever need any help, Im an email away. I can also help you set up your mail delivery settings.
>
>
> In loving service,
> Scott
> YOUnMEnHP@...
>
>
>
> ---------------------------------
> YAHOO! GROUPS LINKS
>
>
> Visit your group "twelvestepsoulfood4thespirit" on the web.
>
> To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
> twelvestepsoulfood4thespirit-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com
>
> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.
>
>
> ---------------------------------
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> - Great Spirit, You are my peace and you dwell within me. Let me look for You within myself.
>

Hello All, I just thought I'd share a little about step 3. Step 3 can look very scarey to us at first, esspecially going back to something I shared about earlier in the week, how as addictis we seem to make things seem bigger and worse than they really are.

I know that when I first looked at step 3, I for sure thought I would never be able to turn my will and my life over. I struggled with this for a while, thinking, how is it that I am turning my will and my life over, yet I still let self will run riot all the time. I think that I took this step to mean that I have to trust GOD 100%, and be perfect at it. "All or Nothing thinking right?"

Finnaly I had someone tell me to give myself a break, your not turning your will and your life over to God today, probably not tomorrow either (at least not all of it).

You are making a decision, not an action. When you think about it, there really hasn't been a whole lot of action in the first three steps, it is more about honesty, denial, personal responsibility, and understanding of certain concepts. From step 4 on, are the actions that are the process of turning our wills and our lives over to the care of GOD as we understand him.

Making a decision is more about understanding what I will be doing next. I can make a decision to write in my journal every day, or eat green peas (yuck) every day, but unless I continue on with the nessesarry actions, I will not continue to do these things. (i don't eat peas every day, but I do like the journal).

Any Ways, I hope all that made sense, it made sense to me when I was being taught. I know now that turninig my will and my life is a daily process that I am still no where near perfected. Every time I do my will, I am essentially being agnostic, but the more I stay connected, the more I do the actions of the program, the better I get at it.

Thanks For Letting Me Share,

Bryan W / Jedi Cowboy

 

I'm 49, Lori is 39.  It will be the second marriage for both of us.

 

Chuck

 

 

-----Original Message-----
From: twelvestepsoulfood4thespirit@yahoogroups.com [mailto:twelvestepsoulfood4thespirit@yahoogroups.com]On Behalf Of connie amstone
Sent: Tuesday, February 28, 2006 7:03 PM
To: twelvestepsoulfood4thespirit@yahoogroups.com
Subject: RE: [TwelveStepSoulFood4 theSpirit] Topic: Forgiveness

How wonderful there is hope for me yet Chuck . Do you mind me asking how old are you? Lori? Congratulations and take many pictures for posting on the site in August.

"Chuck B." <xtrelanex@...> wrote:

No, but I do watch "Survivorman"!  I'm like you:  I use my DVRs (I have 2) to watch ALL my TV.  I can't rely on network scheduling to fit into my life!

 

What's up with Grisly Man?  Never heard of it.

 

Chuck B.

 

PS:  I'm in my second relationship in recovery and I have 9 1/2 years.  The first one lasted almost 8 years and was pretty good (nyeh ~) and now I'm happier than a drug addict locked in a Merck warehouse!  We  Lori and I are getting married in August (I think).  So don't give up - but nobody's perfect, that's for sure!  (Except me, of course.)

 

 

-----Original Message-----
From: twelvestepsoulfood4thespirit@yahoogroups.com [mailto:twelvestepsoulfood4thespirit@yahoogroups.com]On Behalf Of jedicowboybw
Sent: Tuesday, February 28, 2006 3:58 PM
To: twelvestepsoulfood4thespirit@yahoogroups.com
Subject: Re: [TwelveStepSoulFood4 theSpirit] Topic: Forgiveness

Hey Chuck, I am going to set my DVR for this show, that sounds interesting. I don't watch that much TV, I'm like you, I like the discovery stuff and history channel, food network "iron chef" is the bomb!

Any way, have you seen that show "Grisly Man" on discovery? I found some recovery/addiction stuff in that story, it is far out though.
--- In twelvestepsoulfood4thespirit@yahoogroups.com, "Chuck B." <xtrelanex@...> wrote:
>
> The only TV I watch are generally the documentaries: History, Discovery, etc. Someone turned me and Lori on to Boston Legal about 4 months ago (Tuesdays at 10, ABC) and it is GREAT! It tackles some pretty deep social issues each week with intelligence and wit, and my only objection is that the good guys almost always win (which people like you and I know just doesn't happen all the time!).
>
> And I usually HATE episodic TV - I really don't like to plan my week around a TV show so I don't miss what happens.
>
> Chuck B.
>
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: twelvestepsoulfood4thespirit@yahoogroups.com [mailto:twelvestepsoulfood4thespirit@yahoogroups.com]On Behalf Of P Patterson
> Sent: Monday, February 27, 2006 10:57 PM
> To: twelvestepsoulfood4thespirit@yahoogroups.com
> Subject: RE: [TwelveStepSoulFood4 theSpirit] Topic: Forgiveness
>
>
> That's so true Chuck. I still have all the damn bruises from hitting my bottom. That's the reason why I don't want to go back.
>
> Boston Legal? Never heard of it. But I don't watch tv so that doesn't help.
>
>
>
> "Chuck B." xtrelanex@... wrote:
> Not that this is even remotely equivalent in importance to what is being discussed, but the topic if enabling reminds me of something I saw on one of my favorite TV shows (I only have 3) last week: Does anyone watch Boston Legal? Did anybody watch last week when Renee Aberjonois was reunited with his drug addict daughter after 7 years? He had cut her off because she stole from him and abused him to support her habit, which is exactly what he should have done, IMHO.
>
> The daughter, however, was FURIOUS with him for cutting her off, even after 7 years of being clean and sober, not even so much as telling him that he had a 2 year old grand daughter. She said he had "abandoned" her right at the time she needed him most -- and shaken her "faith" in her father. At the end of the show, the two were still unreconciled, but there was some relief for the viewer when Candice Bergen's character reassured the Renee Aberjonois character that his daughter was clean and sober because of what he had done and if she couldn't see that, he should at least forgive himself.
>
> I sat there slack jawed in disbelief as I witnessed the daughter yelling at her father that he had "abandoned her" wondering what fellowship she attended (hah!) and how on Earth she could stay clean that long without any semblance of the steps. I felt she should be on her knees thanking her father for the courage that helped to save her life. I was SO astounded I found the whole episode totally Unbelievable and I didn't think it sent out a clear message to the millions of parents and families with the courage to let their addict families write "their own stories."
>
> Nobody gets clean until they are allowed to hit their bottom.
>
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: twelvestepsoulfood4thespirit@yahoogroups.com [mailto:twelvestepsoulfood4thespirit@yahoogroups.com]On Behalf Of connie amstone
> Sent: Monday, February 27, 2006 2:55 PM
> To: twelvestepsoulfood4thespirit@yahoogroups.com
> Subject: Re: [TwelveStepSoulFood4 theSpirit] Topic: Forgiveness
>
>
> Thanks Carol, My father continues to enable my younger brother 41 and my sister who is 45 both meth addicts. Funny, before my mom died he blamed my mom for enabling my brother and sister but now he continues to do the same. I can just pray they will find the rooms. After my meth addict son died in 92 I paid my brother and sister $10 an hour to attend NA with me for around a year. They still did not get it and I ran out of spare money and the truth hurt when my sponsor confronted me about it.
>
>
> ---------------------------------
> Yahoo! Mail
> Bring photos to life! New PhotoMail makes sharing a breeze.
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> - Great Spirit, You are my peace and you dwell within me. Let me look for You within myself.
>
>
> As you are aware of, this is a fairly busy list, with lots of emails each day. I know a lot of people can be overwhelmed by the amount of emails they receive on lists and it can make you want to unsubscribe.
>
> To help make your life easier (and less stressful) there are options for your group mail.
>
> 1.You can pick to read on the 'web only'...you get NO emails to your email program, you simply login to yahoo at http://groups.yahoo.com/mygroups and click on the group that you want to read, then you would click on "messages" in the sidebar on the left.
>
> 2.You can subscribe as 'daily digest'. With this option, you get one or two emails daily, which include all the emails to the group, you just get to read them in bunches instead of individually. Also there are no graphics or pictures.
>
> To choose either of these options, you go to your groups page at http://groups.yahoo.com/mygroups , then click "edit my groups" on the on title bar, then under "message delivery" there will be a drop down list, click on the checkmark and it will show your options.. you can choose:
>
> individual emails
>
> daily digest
>
> special notices- web only but you will get special notices to your inbox.
>
> no email - read on the site only.
>
> Its as simple as that.
>
> Make sure you click on 'save changes' at the bottom of the page and you can exit.
>
> If you ever need any help, Im an email away. I can also help you set up your mail delivery settings.
>
>
> In loving service,
> Scott
> YOUnMEnHP@...
>
>
>
> SPONSORED LINKS
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>
> ---------------------------------
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>
> Visit your group "twelvestepsoulfood4thespirit" on the web.
>
> To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
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Hello and hugs family, I may be weird and thats ok for this addict today.....its been well over 8 years since i have had a romantic relationship in my life........and actually after looking at all that when I did step 4, I have never ever had a real relationship like that since Jr high school cuz as we all know 2 addicts out in active addiction have no idea in the world what a relationship is all about.

I am still learning who Judy is and it is first very important to learn how to have a relationship first with your HP,family, yourself, other members, regular ppl etc......

when my HP is ready for me to have a romance , he will make the way possible for it to happen and if not thats ok with me today, for Happiness is an inside job....I don't need ppl or things or money to make me happy, that hole inside me is filled with the love and faith of my Higher Power......

thank you for letting me share....(((((((hugs and love)))))))))),Judy O

 

"Nothing Worth Having Comes Easy"

 

 

----- Original Message -----

From: kcfpml

To: twelvestepsoulfood4thespirit@yahoogroups.com

Sent: 2/28/2006 6:05:03 PM

Subject: [TwelveStepSoulFood4 theSpirit] Re: Father Time and this disease

Hi,

I'm with you I don't think I went anywhere near dating till after 5
years not that there is a magic number.  All sides waiting not
waiting have advantages/disadvantages.  Sooner or later I wanted to
play in the world with others and I had to start an inch at a time. 
It was rough but worth it...just letting you know...might be many of
us here that took it slow.  My best dating began with friendship at
my meetings.

K.
--- In
twelvestepsoulfood4thespirit@yahoogroups.com, "jasonclevengerci"
<jasonclevengerci@...> wrote:
>
> Relationships. I'm still wondering if I am even ready to attempt
> opening that door yet. All of my past relationships [if you could
> call them that] involved me being medicated. Just the thought of
> sober dating scares the crud out of me. Even the act of talking
face
> to face with a female on that level causes me to lock up. Its
> amazing how someone nearly half my size and scare me so much[lol] 
> You would think after 3 1/2 years of sobriety it wouldnt be so
> scary. I still dont know if I am ready for the stress involed with
> dating and relationships but I do get lonely.
> Jason
>
> --- In twelvestepsoulfood4thespirit@yahoogroups.com, mona johnson
> <mojohn_99_1998@> wrote:
> >
> > I have found four relationships in the room.  There
> > was Chuck Norris, Errol Flynn, John Travolta and now I
> > have Kevin Bacon.
> > They all turned into Stephen King monsters after they
> > returned to their addictions.
> > I looked like Marilyn Monroe when I started in the
> > rooms thirty years ago.  Now I
> > look like Kathy Bates.  This disease and Father Time
> > takes its toll on us all.
> > My insides are so different though.  I don't look like
> > Marilyn Monroe any more but I like who I am.
> > What the disease takes away the program gives back.
> > It takes the rough diamonds of our past and chisels
> > them into gems.
> > Thanks for letting me share.  Mona J.
> >
> > --- "Chuck B." <xtrelanex@> wrote:
> >
> > > -----Original Message-----
> > > From: twelvestepsoulfood4thespirit@yahoogroups.com
> > >
> > [mailto:twelvestepsoulfood4thespirit@yahoogroups.com]On
> > > Behalf Of P Patterson
> > >
> >
> > __________________________________________________
> > Do You Yahoo!?
> > Tired of spam?  Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around
> > http://mail.yahoo.com
> >
>

Hi,

Thanks for this.  I can never hear enough about step 3.  Reading it
made me think that the third step gave me after a while acceptance.
It is like the link for me to life on life's terms.  Turn my life
over meant after awhile wow this is what Life is like, the bus is
late, the job this, the relationship that and no amount of my
planning, moving, shaking running was going to give me any different
outcome than the outcome.  I remember in early sobriety realizing
that this was my life with or without vodka.  It was a shock because
I thought I sort of drank away life's living dificulites.  Or vice
versa I thought when I stopped drinking life's difficulties would
vanish.  Boy was I in for a surprise.  Anyway these days I feel like
turning it over is like giving in.  Giving up the fight and saying
your right.  Okay G.O.D. (Good Orderly Direction if you like) you do
it.  I'll move the body, you move the world.

Thanks for keeping me connected and on the path...its the only way
for me.  I have to directions towards a drink or away from a drink.
I just took a step further away for now and I'm grateful.

Best to all,
K.

--- In twelvestepsoulfood4thespirit@yahoogroups.com, "jedicowboybw"
<bdogwilmut@...> wrote:
>
>
> Hello All, I just thought I'd share a little about step 3. Step 3
can
> look very scarey to us at first, esspecially going back to
something I
> shared about earlier in the week, how as addictis we seem to make
things
> seem bigger and worse than they really are.
>
> I know that when I first looked at step 3, I for sure thought I
would
> never be able to turn my will and my life over. I struggled with
this
> for a while, thinking, how is it that I am turning my will and my
life
> over, yet I still let self will run riot all the time. I think
that I
> took this step to mean that I have to trust GOD 100%, and be
perfect at
> it. "All or Nothing thinking right?"
>
> Finnaly I had someone tell me to give myself a break, your not
turning
> your will and your life over to God today, probably not tomorrow
either
> (at least not all of it).
>
> You are making a decision, not an action. When you think about it,
there
> really hasn't been a whole lot of action in the first three steps,
it is
> more about honesty, denial, personal responsibility, and
understanding
> of certain concepts. From step 4 on, are the actions that are the
> process of turning our wills and our lives over to the care of GOD
as we
> understand him.
>
> Making a decision is more about understanding what I will be doing
next.
> I can make a decision to write in my journal every day, or eat
green
> peas (yuck) [:p]  every day, but unless I continue on with the
> nessesarry actions, I will not continue to do these things. (i
don't eat
> peas every day, but I do like the journal).
>
> Any Ways, I hope all that made sense, it made sense to me when I
was
> being taught. I know now that turninig my will and my life is a
daily
> process that I am still no where near perfected. Every time I do my
> will, I am essentially being agnostic, but the more I stay
connected,
> the more I do the actions of the program, the better I get at it.
>
> Thanks For Letting Me Share,
>
> Bryan W / Jedi Cowboy
>

"Push Up" is a term that is a positive awarness statement used in therapeutic communities. Therapeutic community is a treatment concept used in prisons, crmincal justice programs, and also support houses. It is a peer driven concept where community members are responsible for holding eachother accountable for their negative bahaviors, and also "push eachother up" for thier positive behaviors. It has been one of the most effective treatment modalities used in the 90's through present day. If you have ever heard of Synanon which was one of the first therapeutic communities that was started in California in the late 50's -early sixties. In a way 12-step programs follow the same type of theory.

--- In twelvestepsoulfood4thespirit@yahoogroups.com, P Patterson <mspjpatterson@...> wrote:
>
> Thanks Jedi,
>
> Now, you simply have to tell me what you mean when you say "Push Up". I don't remember joining a boot camp. I know I did some crazy sh*t but that wasn't one of them. LOL
>
> I loved your story of encouragement to the two new comers. I'm still working on the isolating. I've switched from drinking in isolation to choosing to be isolated because I feel encased. I have not learned how to let go and get out of that behavior.
>
> Please just keep me in your prayers.
>
> With love in recovery,
>
> Prescilla
>
>
>
>
> jedicowboybw bdogwilmut@... wrote:
> Push Up Prescilla,
> I was talking to two people last night who had relapsed, and though they had two seperate situations, there was one common theme. Not haveing healthy people around them. One had been isolating from others, and one had been hanging around his old friends. I told both of them that if they would follow the suggestions of the program and go to meetings, get a sponsor, call a support team member, and get around "winners", it will be much easier to work the program.
> You said an interesting word, "permission" in your share. That is exacty what Isolation and old friends give us in a negative way. They give us permission to fail. Like you said, those old timers gave you permission to work the steps and heal.
> isn't it interesting though how that word "permission" works. I have a funny thing that I did in early recovery, the first year I was sober, I had a roach in my ashtray in the car. I knew it was there, I thought about getting rid of it, but I would always convieniently forget about it. Finnaly one day, I did, and thank god I never found the right situation that would give me "permission" to use. It is funny how our addict minds will set us up like that, set reservations that are just waiting for the right moment.
> Any Ways, Thanks for letting me share,
> Bryan W. / Jedi Cowboy
>
> --- In twelvestepsoulfood4thespirit@yahoogroups.com, P Patterson mspjpatterson@ wrote:
> >
> > "I am having a problem connecting with people in the rooms,
> > do I need to make the same meetings every week?
> > I am not connecting and feel like an outsider, I don't understand why?"
> >
> > * * *
> >
> > Dearest Family,
> >
> > Prescilla - alcoholic (DOS 9/25/04) just chiming in. LOL
> >
> > I don't know if anyone noticed but "getting involved" and "connecting" is really not a problem for me. However, it took these rooms for me to feel comfortable enough to reach out for the help that I needed and still need from people in these rooms. That meant I had to come out of myself long enough to connect to the people that understood my plight.
> >
> > I would sit and listen but my stubborn ass didn't want to learn any thing. I was so deep into denial that I couldn't see the forest for the trees. Much to my dismay I learned that people in these rooms are sick (some sicker than me =) and hopefully looking for a way to get well. I was told by an old timer "stick with the winners kid and you will get this program". That's what I get for attending the old timers meeting everyday. To them, I was the kid. =)
> >
> > That was great advice but I didn't have the slightest clue "how" to do what he said. I couldn't love myself let alone talk to people and relate. I'd lost everything in my life that I was barely hanging onto. I was a pile of fear and tears. Mostly tears because not only had I lost my best friend and lover alcohol, but the man I considered the love of my life -- my soulmate.
> >
> > Another old timer saw my tears and he came up and gave me a hug. He looked at my tear soaked face and told me, "Don't worry. We will love you until you can love yourself." Oh what an ephiphany! I didn't have to work at loving me, I just needed to get better. For some reason, that gave me permission to work with a sponsor going through the steps. It gave me permission to work at the deep black hole that was in my soul for seemingly all my life. It gave me permission to find this higher power or God that everyone was talking about. I knew that someone would love me while I was doing this, therefore I could forget about "me" long enough to work on me from the inside. I didn't love me anyway...so in my mind, I was free to accomplish this. <<laugh>> Whatever it takes, right?
> >
> > With all the permission to work on my inside, gee, guess what? Everyone looked, sounded, and acted different on the outside. Like Bill W. says in his story, it was like the scales were peeled off his eyes. I was blessed to have people come up to me! People actually wanted to know how I was doing. With this change, I was given more permission to share, to open up to people, to talk with people freely once again. I don't know if you noticed, talking is not an issue for me. =)
> >
> > For my job, I have to network for survival in the business world. I always prided myself on being able to keep a selection of "key" people in my life that could help in the long run. Thanks to these rooms, I don't have to do that. I have a power greater than me, sending the "winners" directly to my path in my sobriety, my personal, and my professional life. Many of those winners, I already have in my life. My mother, brother, daughter, friends that I've known for a while; all have seen different aspects of my disease. Some of them were there through the worst times of my life and just listened. When the rubber needed to meet the road, it was my mother that dug in deep and just guided me out. She didn't enable or try to save me, she just loved me and kept me encouraged -- and she's never been through AA or recovery but she is an alcoholic sober 25+ years. All of these people have expressed their greatest admiration for my efforts with AA. Thanks to these rooms, I was able
> > to accept their love and admiration for me. I was finally starting to love me.
> >
> > My fears are limited now to my own selfish and self centered thoughts, doubts, and the head commitee trying to keep me in a state of confusion. Staying focused on some days, especially today, is not easy but I will do the best I can to surrender the things I can't control and reach out to the sources where my help and strength come from; God and these rooms.
> >
> > Thank you for letting me share.
> >
> > With love in recovery,
> >
> > Prescilla
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > - Great Spirit, You are my peace and you dwell within me. Let me look for You within myself.
> >
>
>
>
> As you are aware of, this is a fairly busy list, with lots of emails each day. I know a lot of people can be overwhelmed by the amount of emails they receive on lists and it can make you want to unsubscribe.
>
> To help make your life easier (and less stressful) there are options for your group mail.
>
> 1.You can pick to read on the 'web only'...you get NO emails to your email program, you simply login to yahoo at http://groups.yahoo.com/mygroups and click on the group that you want to read, then you would click on "messages" in the sidebar on the left.
>
> 2.You can subscribe as 'daily digest'. With this option, you get one or two emails daily, which include all the emails to the group, you just get to read them in bunches instead of individually. Also there are no graphics or pictures.
>
> To choose either of these options, you go to your groups page at http://groups.yahoo.com/mygroups , then click "edit my groups" on the on title bar, then under "message delivery" there will be a drop down list, click on the checkmark and it will show your options.. you can choose:
>
> individual emails
>
> daily digest
>
> special notices- web only but you will get special notices to your inbox.
>
> no email - read on the site only.
>
> Its as simple as that.
>
> Make sure you click on 'save changes' at the bottom of the page and you can exit.
>
> If you ever need any help, Im an email away. I can also help you set up your mail delivery settings.
>
>
> In loving service,
> Scott
> YOUnMEnHP@...
>
>
>
> ---------------------------------
> YAHOO! GROUPS LINKS
>
>
> Visit your group "twelvestepsoulfood4thespirit" on the web.
>
> To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
> twelvestepsoulfood4thespirit-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com
>
> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.
>
>
> ---------------------------------
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> - Great Spirit, You are my peace and you dwell within me. Let me look for You within myself.
>

Hey Prescilla, that is so cool that you were in an outpatient program that would use a technique like that. It is fairly unorthodox to use that kind of method, (though I have done this myself) and it is not wide spread.

The technique was actually used by Nostradamus, he reported in his writings that he saw visions of the future in the mirror. He reported he would sit in a dark room and light one candle beside him, and look into the mirror.

P Patterson <mspjpatterson@...> wrote:

Thanks Connie.  I didn't get what was trying to be said here.  I always smile now.  Smiling is so not a hard thing for me to do.  Yesterday when it was raining, I was smiling because I knew that I would be able to see the mountains clearly when the sun came out today. 

 

I can finally look in the mirror and enjoy the reflection in the mirror.  That wasn't always the case when I began recovery.  There was an exercise that the outpatient program had us to that involved a dark/dim lit room with a mirror and a candle. We were suppose to set the candle in front of us while looking in the mirror for 2 minutes and describe to the group what we saw.  I was terrified.  I saw the scared litte girl, looking for approval from her father, and afraid of all the domestic violence at home.  Back then when I was little a small dark room was my hiding place.  I choose it because it was a dark place just like the dark place in my soul.  When I got older that dark place was only comforted by alcohol and "escaping" reality.  I got really upset at that exercise because it forced me to admit openly that the little girl was still there, still afraid, still seeking approval and love.

 

Today, thanks to these rooms....I don't have that issue any more.  Just the other day I was lighting candles in my home because I love vanilla scent.  I happen to put a candle on the vanity in my bedroom while the lights were out and I smiled at the beautiful woman that was starring back at me.  I didn't see the natural person, I saw the spiritual person that loves life and is willing to do what it takes.

 

OK...maybe I understood that reading better than I thought.  LOL

 

You asked what I was taking in school.  My master's program will be Information Technology with an emphasis on network security.  It's what I do now.

 

Talk to you later.

 

Prescilla

 

connie amstone <amstoneus@...> wrote:

Hey Presella, what will you take in school? Since you are always sharing readings here is one for you:

When they take your smile away they might just as well shoot you. --Violet Hensley Violet is one big smile. And it's not the result of having an easy life. On the contrary, she has worked doubly hard all her life to support her family. However, she has a joyful attitude, and it has made the difference in her life. Now in old age, she still works hard making fiddles for sale and performing music; but she loves every minute of life, and when you're with her, you love it too. Why aren't we more like Violet? The answer always rests within us. We have decided how to respond to life's trials. We were never forced to dread, hate, or appreciate our experiences. We were, and still are, solely responsible for our interpretation. The Violets of the world opted to have more fun. How do we begin having more fun? The first step is deciding to leave the past behind. No matter what our experiences were last year or in our childhood or even this morning, they don't have to determine what our experiences will be in this next hour. Having more fun is clearly a decision that is coupled with action. Any one of us can do it as well as we want to. Smiling at myself in the mirror is good practice. Offering one to the first person I encounter strengthens my desire to offer more. From the Hazelden book, Keepers of the Wisdom, by Karen Casey

P Patterson <mspjpatterson@...> wrote:

 

Jason,  I thought I was the only one in this room having (male/female) relationship issues.  The thought of dating has always but a wrinkle in my undies, but now that I'm sober...I can't get past finding all the things wrong ones.  Maybe I've over the top as far as requirements, but I'm happy with myself.  I can love myself today.  You are right, it does get pretty lonely not being able to share your day with someone special.  However, I have made a choice not to be lonely any more.  I've immersed myself in my meetings, my daughter, and my job...pretty soon, school.  I'm ok with that today. Thanks for sharing.

 

 

BIG HUG

 

Prescilla

jasonclevengerci <jasonclevengerci@...> wrote:

Relationships. I'm still wondering if I am even ready to attempt
opening that door yet. All of my past relationships [if you could
call them that] involved me being medicated. Just the thought of
sober dating scares the crud out of me. Even the act of talking face
to face with a female on that level causes me to lock up. Its
amazing how someone nearly half my size and scare me so much[lol] 
You would think after 3 1/2 years of sobriety it wouldnt be so
scary. I still dont know if I am ready for the stress involed with
dating and relationships but I do get lonely.
Jason

--- In twelvestepsoulfood4thespirit@yahoogroups.com, mona johnson
<mojohn_99_1998@...> wrote:
>
> I have found four relationships in the room.  There
> was Chuck Norris, Errol Flynn, John Travolta and now I
> have Kevin Bacon.
> They all turned into Stephen King monsters after they
> returned to their addictions.
> I looked like Marilyn Monroe when I started in the
> rooms thirty years ago.  Now I
> look like Kathy Bates.  This disease and Father Time
> takes its toll on us all.
> My insides are so different though.  I don't look like
> Marilyn Monroe any more but I like who I am.
> What the disease takes away the program gives back.
> It takes the rough diamonds of our past and chisels
> them into gems.
> Thanks for letting me share.  Mona J.
>
> --- "Chuck B." <xtrelanex@...> wrote:
>
> > -----Original Message-----
> > From: twelvestepsoulfood4thespirit@yahoogroups.com
> >
> [mailto:twelvestepsoulfood4thespirit@yahoogroups.com]On
> > Behalf Of P Patterson
> >
>
> __________________________________________________
> Do You Yahoo!?
> Tired of spam?  Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around
> http://mail.yahoo.com
>

 

 

 

 

 

 

- Great Spirit, You are my peace and you dwell within me. Let me look for You within myself.

---

Yahoo! Mail
Use Photomail to share photos without annoying attachments.

As you are aware of, this is a fairly busy list, with lots of emails each day.  I know a lot of people can be overwhelmed by the amount of emails they receive on lists and it can make you want to unsubscribe.

To help make your life easier (and less stressful) there are options for your group mail.

1.You can pick to read on the 'web only'...you get NO emails to your email program, you simply login to yahoo at http://groups.yahoo.com/mygroups and click on the group that you want to read, then you would click on "messages" in the sidebar on the left.

2.You can subscribe as 'daily digest'.  With this option, you get one or two emails daily, which include all the emails to the group, you just get to read them in bunches instead of individually. Also there are no graphics or pictures.

To choose either of these options, you go to your groups page at http://groups.yahoo.com/mygroups , then click "edit my groups" on the on title bar, then under "message delivery" there will be a drop down list, click on the checkmark and it will show your options.. you can choose:

individual emails

daily digest

special notices- web only but you will get special notices to your inbox.

no email - read on the site only.

Its as simple as that.

Make sure you click on 'save changes' at the bottom of the page and you can exit.

If you ever need any help, Im an email away. I can also help you set up your mail delivery settings.


In loving service,
Scott
YOUnMEnHP@...

---

Yahoo! Mail
Bring photos to life! New PhotoMail makes sharing a breeze.

Its amazing what our higher power can do to rebuild us from the
ground up. In  my addiction I couldnt stand mirrors or especially
photos of myself. I could always see the monster staring back at me.
Now I can look in the mirror at the man not the monster. Its
amazing  when I show people the before recovery pictures they dont
believe its me, and I tell them that they are right that was the
other me. I love the man in the mirror, so I will continue going to
meetings, sharing, praying, and whatever else I have to do to keep
the monster out of my reflection.
thanx 4 letting me share
jason


--- In twelvestepsoulfood4thespirit@yahoogroups.com, P Patterson
<mspjpatterson@...> wrote:
>
> Thanks Connie.  I didn't get what was trying to be said here.  I
always smile now.  Smiling is so not a hard thing for me to do. 
Yesterday when it was raining, I was smiling because I knew that I
would be able to see the mountains clearly when the sun came out
today. 
>   
>   I can finally look in the mirror and enjoy the reflection in the
mirror.  That wasn't always the case when I began recovery.  There
was an exercise that the outpatient program had us to that involved
a dark/dim lit room with a mirror and a candle. We were suppose to
set the candle in front of us while looking in the mirror for 2
minutes and describe to the group what we saw.  I was terrified.  I
saw the scared litte girl, looking for approval from her father, and
afraid of all the domestic violence at home.  Back then when I was
little a small dark room was my hiding place.  I choose it because
it was a dark place just like the dark place in my soul.  When I got
older that dark place was only comforted by alcohol and "escaping"
reality.  I got really upset at that exercise because it forced me
to admit openly that the little girl was still there, still afraid,
still seeking approval and love.
>   
>   Today, thanks to these rooms....I don't have that issue any
more.  Just the other day I was lighting candles in my home because
I love vanilla scent.  I happen to put a candle on the vanity in my
bedroom while the lights were out and I smiled at the beautiful
woman that was starring back at me.  I didn't see the natural
person, I saw the spiritual person that loves life and is willing to
do what it takes.
>   
>   OK...maybe I understood that reading better than I thought.  LOL
>   
>   You asked what I was taking in school.  My master's program will
be Information Technology with an emphasis on network security. 
It's what I do now.
>   
>   Talk to you later.
>   
>   Prescilla
>   
>  
>
> connie amstone <amstoneus@...> wrote:
>   Hey Presella, what will you take in school? Since you are always
sharing readings here is one for you:           When they take your
smile away they might just as well shoot you.
> --Violet Hensley
>   Violet is one big smile. And it's not the result of having an
easy life. On the contrary, she has worked doubly hard all her life
to support her family. However, she has a joyful attitude, and it
has made the difference in her life. Now in old age, she still works
hard making fiddles for sale and performing music; but she loves
every minute of life, and when you're with her, you love it too.
>   Why aren't we more like Violet? The answer always rests within
us. We have decided how to respond to life's trials. We were never
forced to dread, hate, or appreciate our experiences. We were, and
still are, solely responsible for our interpretation. The Violets of
the world opted to have more fun.
>   How do we begin having more fun? The first step is deciding to
leave the past behind. No matter what our experiences were last year
or in our childhood or even this morning, they don't have to
determine what our experiences will be in this next hour. Having
more fun is clearly a decision that is coupled with action. Any one
of us can do it as well as we want to.
>   Smiling at myself in the mirror is good practice. Offering one
to the first person I encounter strengthens my desire to offer more.
>   From the Hazelden book, Keepers of the Wisdom, by Karen Casey
>
>
> P Patterson <mspjpatterson@...> wrote:     
>   Jason,  I thought I was the only one in this room having
(male/female) relationship issues.  The thought of dating has always
but a wrinkle in my undies, but now that I'm sober...I can't get
past finding all the things wrong ones.  Maybe I've over the top as
far as requirements, but I'm happy with myself.  I can love myself
today.  You are right, it does get pretty lonely not being able to
share your day with someone special.  However, I have made a choice
not to be lonely any more.  I've immersed myself in my meetings, my
daughter, and my job...pretty soon, school.  I'm ok with that today.
Thanks for sharing.
>   
>   
>   BIG HUG
>   
>   Prescilla
>
> jasonclevengerci <jasonclevengerci@...> wrote:
>   Relationships. I'm still wondering if I am even ready to attempt
> opening that door yet. All of my past relationships [if you could
> call them that] involved me being medicated. Just the thought of
> sober dating scares the crud out of me. Even the act of talking
face
> to face with a female on that level causes me to lock up. Its
> amazing how someone nearly half my size and scare me so much[lol] 
> You would think after 3 1/2 years of sobriety it wouldnt be so
> scary. I still dont know if I am ready for the stress involed with
> dating and relationships but I do get lonely.
> Jason
>
> --- In twelvestepsoulfood4thespirit@yahoogroups.com, mona johnson
> <mojohn_99_1998@> wrote:
> >
> > I have found four relationships in the room.  There
> > was Chuck Norris, Errol Flynn, John Travolta and now I
> > have Kevin Bacon.
> > They all turned into Stephen King monsters after they
> > returned to their addictions.
> > I looked like Marilyn Monroe when I started in the
> > rooms thirty years ago.  Now I
> > look like Kathy Bates.  This disease and Father Time
> > takes its toll on us all.
> > My insides are so different though.  I don't look like
> > Marilyn Monroe any more but I like who I am.
> > What the disease takes away the program gives back.
> > It takes the rough diamonds of our past and chisels
> > them into gems.
> > Thanks for letting me share.  Mona J.
> >
> > --- "Chuck B." <xtrelanex@> wrote:
> >
> > > -----Original Message-----
> > > From: twelvestepsoulfood4thespirit@yahoogroups.com
> > >
> > [mailto:twelvestepsoulfood4thespirit@yahoogroups.com]On
> > > Behalf Of P Patterson
> > >
> >
> > __________________________________________________
> > Do You Yahoo!?
> > Tired of spam?  Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around
> > http://mail.yahoo.com
> >
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>   
>   
>   
>   
>   
>   
>   - Great Spirit, You are my peace and you dwell within me. Let me
look for You within myself.
>
>    
> ---------------------------------
>   Yahoo! Mail
> Use Photomail to share photos without annoying attachments.
>
> As you are aware of, this is a fairly busy list, with lots of
emails each day.  I know a lot of people can be overwhelmed by the
amount of emails they receive on lists and it can make you want to
unsubscribe.
>
> To help make your life easier (and less stressful) there are
options for your group mail.
>
> 1.You can pick to read on the 'web only'...you get NO emails to
your email program, you simply login to yahoo at
http://groups.yahoo.com/mygroups and click on the group that you
want to read, then you would click on "messages" in the sidebar on
the left.
>
> 2.You can subscribe as 'daily digest'.  With this option, you get
one or two emails daily, which include all the emails to the group,
you just get to read them in bunches instead of individually. Also
there are no graphics or pictures.
>
> To choose either of these options, you go to your groups page at
http://groups.yahoo.com/mygroups , then click "edit my groups" on
the on title bar, then under "message delivery" there will be a drop
down list, click on the checkmark and it will show your options..
you can choose:
>
> individual emails
>
> daily digest
>
> special notices- web only but you will get special notices to your
inbox.
>
> no email - read on the site only.
>
> Its as simple as that.
>
> Make sure you click on 'save changes' at the bottom of the page
and you can exit.
>
> If you ever need any help, Im an email away. I can also help you
set up your mail delivery settings.
>
>
> In loving service,
> Scott
> YOUnMEnHP@...
>
>
>    
> ---------------------------------
>   YAHOO! GROUPS LINKS
>
>    
>     Visit your group "twelvestepsoulfood4thespirit" on the web.
>    
>     To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
>  twelvestepsoulfood4thespirit-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com
>    
>     Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of
Service.
>
>    
> ---------------------------------
>  
>
>
>
>
> 
>   
>   
>   
>   
>   
>   - Great Spirit, You are my peace and you dwell within me. Let me
look for You within myself.
>

Great share Judy! (((((John)))))

--- In twelvestepsoulfood4thespirit@yahoogroups.com, ""
<judy4na@...> wrote:
>
> Hello and hugs family and wow it has been a long time since I have
shared on a weekly topic......you all always told me I should share
my ESH in hopes that it may help another addict so here goes....
> Well, I felt the same way when i first got to NA......
> I use to stand outside of meetings by myself watching the big
groups of members laughing and talking together ....I was so
painfully shy and such low self esteem back then , I could not seem
to make myself walk up and admit to being a newcomer and no one ever
approached me back then.....( I am guessing its because I had a
probation paper in my hands)............so I found another meeting
at the same meeting place that was very small and things changed
majorly for me.......all of a sudden I had a sponsor and sponcee
sisters who came and took me all over to meetings,they also
introduced me to service....showed me how just by stacking chairs
and helping to clean up just improved my personal recovery almost
instantly I started feeling a part of.....I went out to fellowship
and out to coffee and I started letting other members inside to get
to know me......I became my HG's GSR and my areas Helpline Chair and
I have not looked back since.....now you can't shut me up (Ask Scott
(LOL))
> I have not felt like an outsider now for years......so ,my
suggestion is if you are feeling like a outsider at those big huge
meetings, try the smaller ones .......sure worked for this
addict.......ask to help clean up, find yourself a Homegroup and
suit up and show up and get involved in some service, help yourself
and your fellowship at the same time, benefits are amazing........
> Thanks for letting me share, Love and hugs to you all family, Judy
O
>
>
> "Nothing Worth Having Comes Easy"
>
> "I am having a problem connecting with people in the rooms, do I
need
> to make the same meetings every week? I am not connecting and feel
> like an outsider, I don't understand why?"
>

Hello All, I just thought I'd share a little about step 3. Step 3 can look very scarey to us at first, esspecially going back to something I shared about earlier in the week, how as addictis we seem to make things seem bigger and worse than they really are.

I know that when I first looked at step 3, I for sure thought I would never be able to turn my will and my life over. I struggled with this for a while, thinking, how is it that I am turning my will and my life over, yet I still let self will run riot all the time. I think that I took this step to mean that I have to trust GOD 100%, and be perfect at it. "All or Nothing thinking right?"

Finnaly I had someone tell me to give myself a break, your not turning your will and your life over to God today, probably not tomorrow either (at least not all of it).

You are making a decision, not an action. When you think about it, there really hasn't been a whole lot of action in the first three steps, it is more about honesty, denial, personal responsibility, and understanding of certain concepts. From step 4 on, are the actions that are the process of turning our wills and our lives over to the care of GOD as we understand him.

Making a decision is more about understanding what I will be doing next. I can make a decision to write in my journal every day, or eat green peas (yuck) every day, but unless I continue on with the nessesarry actions, I will not continue to do these things. (i don't eat peas every day, but I do like the journal).

Any Ways, I hope all that made sense, it made sense to me when I was being taught. I know now that turninig my will and my life is a daily process that I am still no where near perfected. Every time I do my will, I am essentially being agnostic, but the more I stay connected, the more I do the actions of the program, the better I get at it.

Thanks For Letting Me Share,

Bryan W / Jedi Cowboy

"Push Up" is a term that is a positive awarness statement used in therapeutic communities. Therapeutic community is a treatment concept used in prisons, crmincal justice programs, and also support houses. It is a peer driven concept where community members are responsible for holding eachother accountable for their negative bahaviors, and also "push eachother up" for thier positive behaviors. It has been one of the most effective treatment modalities used in the 90's through present day. If you have ever heard of Synanon which was one of the first therapeutic communities that was started in California in the late 50's -early sixties. In a way 12-step programs follow the same type of theory.

--- In twelvestepsoulfood4thespirit@yahoogroups.com, P Patterson <mspjpatterson@...> wrote:
>
> Thanks Jedi,
>
> Now, you simply have to tell me what you mean when you say "Push Up". I don't remember joining a boot camp. I know I did some crazy sh*t but that wasn't one of them. LOL
>
> I loved your story of encouragement to the two new comers. I'm still working on the isolating. I've switched from drinking in isolation to choosing to be isolated because I feel encased. I have not learned how to let go and get out of that behavior.
>
> Please just keep me in your prayers.
>
> With love in recovery,
>
> Prescilla
>
>
>
>
> jedicowboybw bdogwilmut@... wrote:
> Push Up Prescilla,
> I was talking to two people last night who had relapsed, and though they had two seperate situations, there was one common theme. Not haveing healthy people around them. One had been isolating from others, and one had been hanging around his old friends. I told both of them that if they would follow the suggestions of the program and go to meetings, get a sponsor, call a support team member, and get around "winners", it will be much easier to work the program.
> You said an interesting word, "permission" in your share. That is exacty what Isolation and old friends give us in a negative way. They give us permission to fail. Like you said, those old timers gave you permission to work the steps and heal.
> isn't it interesting though how that word "permission" works. I have a funny thing that I did in early recovery, the first year I was sober, I had a roach in my ashtray in the car. I knew it was there, I thought about getting rid of it, but I would always convieniently forget about it. Finnaly one day, I did, and thank god I never found the right situation that would give me "permission" to use. It is funny how our addict minds will set us up like that, set reservations that are just waiting for the right moment.
> Any Ways, Thanks for letting me share,
> Bryan W. / Jedi Cowboy
>
> --- In twelvestepsoulfood4thespirit@yahoogroups.com, P Patterson mspjpatterson@ wrote:
> >
> > "I am having a problem connecting with people in the rooms,
> > do I need to make the same meetings every week?
> > I am not connecting and feel like an outsider, I don't understand why?"
> >
> > * * *
> >
> > Dearest Family,
> >
> > Prescilla - alcoholic (DOS 9/25/04) just chiming in. LOL
> >
> > I don't know if anyone noticed but "getting involved" and "connecting" is really not a problem for me. However, it took these rooms for me to feel comfortable enough to reach out for the help that I needed and still need from people in these rooms. That meant I had to come out of myself long enough to connect to the people that understood my plight.
> >
> > I would sit and listen but my stubborn ass didn't want to learn any thing. I was so deep into denial that I couldn't see the forest for the trees. Much to my dismay I learned that people in these rooms are sick (some sicker than me =) and hopefully looking for a way to get well. I was told by an old timer "stick with the winners kid and you will get this program". That's what I get for attending the old timers meeting everyday. To them, I was the kid. =)
> >
> > That was great advice but I didn't have the slightest clue "how" to do what he said. I couldn't love myself let alone talk to people and relate. I'd lost everything in my life that I was barely hanging onto. I was a pile of fear and tears. Mostly tears because not only had I lost my best friend and lover alcohol, but the man I considered the love of my life -- my soulmate.
> >
> > Another old timer saw my tears and he came up and gave me a hug. He looked at my tear soaked face and told me, "Don't worry. We will love you until you can love yourself." Oh what an ephiphany! I didn't have to work at loving me, I just needed to get better. For some reason, that gave me permission to work with a sponsor going through the steps. It gave me permission to work at the deep black hole that was in my soul for seemingly all my life. It gave me permission to find this higher power or God that everyone was talking about. I knew that someone would love me while I was doing this, therefore I could forget about "me" long enough to work on me from the inside. I didn't love me anyway...so in my mind, I was free to accomplish this. <<laugh>> Whatever it takes, right?
> >
> > With all the permission to work on my inside, gee, guess what? Everyone looked, sounded, and acted different on the outside. Like Bill W. says in his story, it was like the scales were peeled off his eyes. I was blessed to have people come up to me! People actually wanted to know how I was doing. With this change, I was given more permission to share, to open up to people, to talk with people freely once again. I don't know if you noticed, talking is not an issue for me. =)
> >
> > For my job, I have to network for survival in the business world. I always prided myself on being able to keep a selection of "key" people in my life that could help in the long run. Thanks to these rooms, I don't have to do that. I have a power greater than me, sending the "winners" directly to my path in my sobriety, my personal, and my professional life. Many of those winners, I already have in my life. My mother, brother, daughter, friends that I've known for a while; all have seen different aspects of my disease. Some of them were there through the worst times of my life and just listened. When the rubber needed to meet the road, it was my mother that dug in deep and just guided me out. She didn't enable or try to save me, she just loved me and kept me encouraged -- and she's never been through AA or recovery but she is an alcoholic sober 25+ years. All of these people have expressed their greatest admiration for my efforts with AA. Thanks to these rooms, I was able
> > to accept their love and admiration for me. I was finally starting to love me.
> >
> > My fears are limited now to my own selfish and self centered thoughts, doubts, and the head commitee trying to keep me in a state of confusion. Staying focused on some days, especially today, is not easy but I will do the best I can to surrender the things I can't control and reach out to the sources where my help and strength come from; God and these rooms.
> >
> > Thank you for letting me share.
> >
> > With love in recovery,
> >
> > Prescilla
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > - Great Spirit, You are my peace and you dwell within me. Let me look for You within myself.
> >
>
>
>
> As you are aware of, this is a fairly busy list, with lots of emails each day. I know a lot of people can be overwhelmed by the amount of emails they receive on lists and it can make you want to unsubscribe.
>
> To help make your life easier (and less stressful) there are options for your group mail.
>
> 1.You can pick to read on the 'web only'...you get NO emails to your email program, you simply login to yahoo at http://groups.yahoo.com/mygroups and click on the group that you want to read, then you would click on "messages" in the sidebar on the left.
>
> 2.You can subscribe as 'daily digest'. With this option, you get one or two emails daily, which include all the emails to the group, you just get to read them in bunches instead of individually. Also there are no graphics or pictures.
>
> To choose either of these options, you go to your groups page at http://groups.yahoo.com/mygroups , then click "edit my groups" on the on title bar, then under "message delivery" there will be a drop down list, click on the checkmark and it will show your options.. you can choose:
>
> individual emails
>
> daily digest
>
> special notices- web only but you will get special notices to your inbox.
>
> no email - read on the site only.
>
> Its as simple as that.
>
> Make sure you click on 'save changes' at the bottom of the page and you can exit.
>
> If you ever need any help, Im an email away. I can also help you set up your mail delivery settings.
>
>
> In loving service,
> Scott
> YOUnMEnHP@...
>
>
>
> ---------------------------------
> YAHOO! GROUPS LINKS
>
>
> Visit your group "twelvestepsoulfood4thespirit" on the web.
>
> To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
> twelvestepsoulfood4thespirit-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com
>
> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.
>
>
> ---------------------------------
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> - Great Spirit, You are my peace and you dwell within me. Let me look for You within myself.
>

Thanks Connie.  I didn't get what was trying to be said here.  I always smile now.  Smiling is so not a hard thing for me to do.  Yesterday when it was raining, I was smiling because I knew that I would be able to see the mountains clearly when the sun came out today. 

 

I can finally look in the mirror and enjoy the reflection in the mirror.  That wasn't always the case when I began recovery.  There was an exercise that the outpatient program had us to that involved a dark/dim lit room with a mirror and a candle. We were suppose to set the candle in front of us while looking in the mirror for 2 minutes and describe to the group what we saw.  I was terrified.  I saw the scared litte girl, looking for approval from her father, and afraid of all the domestic violence at home.  Back then when I was little a small dark room was my hiding place.  I choose it because it was a dark place just like the dark place in my soul.  When I got older that dark place was only comforted by alcohol and "escaping" reality.  I got really upset at that exercise because it forced me to admit openly that the little girl was still there, still afraid, still seeking approval and love.

 

Today, thanks to these rooms....I don't have that issue any more.  Just the other day I was lighting candles in my home because I love vanilla scent.  I happen to put a candle on the vanity in my bedroom while the lights were out and I smiled at the beautiful woman that was starring back at me.  I didn't see the natural person, I saw the spiritual person that loves life and is willing to do what it takes.

 

OK...maybe I understood that reading better than I thought.  LOL

 

You asked what I was taking in school.  My master's program will be Information Technology with an emphasis on network security.  It's what I do now.

 

Talk to you later.

 

Prescilla

 

connie amstone <amstoneus@...> wrote:

Hey Presella, what will you take in school? Since you are always sharing readings here is one for you:

When they take your smile away they might just as well shoot you. --Violet Hensley Violet is one big smile. And it's not the result of having an easy life. On the contrary, she has worked doubly hard all her life to support her family. However, she has a joyful attitude, and it has made the difference in her life. Now in old age, she still works hard making fiddles for sale and performing music; but she loves every minute of life, and when you're with her, you love it too. Why aren't we more like Violet? The answer always rests within us. We have decided how to respond to life's trials. We were never forced to dread, hate, or appreciate our experiences. We were, and still are, solely responsible for our interpretation. The Violets of the world opted to have more fun. How do we begin having more fun? The first step is deciding to leave the past behind. No matter what our experiences were last year or in our childhood or even this morning, they don't have to determine what our experiences will be in this next hour. Having more fun is clearly a decision that is coupled with action. Any one of us can do it as well as we want to. Smiling at myself in the mirror is good practice. Offering one to the first person I encounter strengthens my desire to offer more. From the Hazelden book, Keepers of the Wisdom, by Karen Casey

P Patterson <mspjpatterson@...> wrote:

 

Jason,  I thought I was the only one in this room having (male/female) relationship issues.  The thought of dating has always but a wrinkle in my undies, but now that I'm sober...I can't get past finding all the things wrong ones.  Maybe I've over the top as far as requirements, but I'm happy with myself.  I can love myself today.  You are right, it does get pretty lonely not being able to share your day with someone special.  However, I have made a choice not to be lonely any more.  I've immersed myself in my meetings, my daughter, and my job...pretty soon, school.  I'm ok with that today. Thanks for sharing.

 

 

BIG HUG

 

Prescilla

jasonclevengerci <jasonclevengerci@...> wrote:

Relationships. I'm still wondering if I am even ready to attempt
opening that door yet. All of my past relationships [if you could
call them that] involved me being medicated. Just the thought of
sober dating scares the crud out of me. Even the act of talking face
to face with a female on that level causes me to lock up. Its
amazing how someone nearly half my size and scare me so much[lol] 
You would think after 3 1/2 years of sobriety it wouldnt be so
scary. I still dont know if I am ready for the stress involed with
dating and relationships but I do get lonely.
Jason

--- In twelvestepsoulfood4thespirit@yahoogroups.com, mona johnson
<mojohn_99_1998@...> wrote:
>
> I have found four relationships in the room.  There
> was Chuck Norris, Errol Flynn, John Travolta and now I
> have Kevin Bacon.
> They all turned into Stephen King monsters after they
> returned to their addictions.
> I looked like Marilyn Monroe when I started in the
> rooms thirty years ago.  Now I
> look like Kathy Bates.  This disease and Father Time
> takes its toll on us all.
> My insides are so different though.  I don't look like
> Marilyn Monroe any more but I like who I am.
> What the disease takes away the program gives back.
> It takes the rough diamonds of our past and chisels
> them into gems.
> Thanks for letting me share.  Mona J.
>
> --- "Chuck B." <xtrelanex@...> wrote:
>
> > -----Original Message-----
> > From: twelvestepsoulfood4thespirit@yahoogroups.com
> >
> [mailto:twelvestepsoulfood4thespirit@yahoogroups.com]On
> > Behalf Of P Patterson
> >
>
> __________________________________________________
> Do You Yahoo!?
> Tired of spam?  Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around
> http://mail.yahoo.com
>

 

 

 

 

 

 

- Great Spirit, You are my peace and you dwell within me. Let me look for You within myself.

---

Yahoo! Mail
Use Photomail to share photos without annoying attachments.

As you are aware of, this is a fairly busy list, with lots of emails each day.  I know a lot of people can be overwhelmed by the amount of emails they receive on lists and it can make you want to unsubscribe.

To help make your life easier (and less stressful) there are options for your group mail.

1.You can pick to read on the 'web only'...you get NO emails to your email program, you simply login to yahoo at http://groups.yahoo.com/mygroups and click on the group that you want to read, then you would click on "messages" in the sidebar on the left.

2.You can subscribe as 'daily digest'.  With this option, you get one or two emails daily, which include all the emails to the group, you just get to read them in bunches instead of individually. Also there are no graphics or pictures.

To choose either of these options, you go to your groups page at http://groups.yahoo.com/mygroups , then click "edit my groups" on the on title bar, then under "message delivery" there will be a drop down list, click on the checkmark and it will show your options.. you can choose:

individual emails

daily digest

special notices- web only but you will get special notices to your inbox.

no email - read on the site only.

Its as simple as that.

Make sure you click on 'save changes' at the bottom of the page and you can exit.

If you ever need any help, Im an email away. I can also help you set up your mail delivery settings.


In loving service,
Scott
YOUnMEnHP@...

---

Yahoo! Mail
Bring photos to life! New PhotoMail makes sharing a breeze.

----- Original Message -----

From: jedicowboybw

To: twelvestepsoulfood4thespirit@yahoogroups.com

Sent: 2/28/2006 5:57:35 PM

Subject: Re: [TwelveStepSoulFood4 theSpirit] Topic: Forgiveness

This Grisly Man is like a 3 hour documentary about this crazy ass addict who thinks he gets along with bears. He goes out and decides to live with bears. It doesn't work out so well for him and his crazy girlfriend either. I won't ruin it, you should check it out. It came on discovery the other day, I think Saturday morning, it might come on again. If not, I had a friend of mine rent it from blockbuster.
--- In twelvestepsoulfood4thespirit@yahoogroups.com, "Chuck B." <xtrelanex@...> wrote:
>
> No, but I do watch "Survivorman"! I'm like you: I use my DVRs (I have 2) to watch ALL my TV. I can't rely on network scheduling to fit into my life!
>
> What's up with Grisly Man? Never heard of it.
>
> Chuck B.
>
> PS: I'm in my second relationship in recovery and I have 9 1/2 years. The first one lasted almost 8 years and was pretty good (nyeh ~) and now I'm happier than a drug addict locked in a Merck warehouse! We Lori and I are getting married in August (I think). So don't give up - but nobody's perfect, that's for sure! (Except me, of course.)
>
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: twelvestepsoulfood4thespirit@yahoogroups.com [mailto:twelvestepsoulfood4thespirit@yahoogroups.com]On Behalf Of jedicowboybw
> Sent: Tuesday, February 28, 2006 3:58 PM
> To: twelvestepsoulfood4thespirit@yahoogroups.com
> Subject: Re: [TwelveStepSoulFood4 theSpirit] Topic: Forgiveness
>
>
>
> Hey Chuck, I am going to set my DVR for this show, that sounds interesting. I don't watch that much TV, I'm like you, I like the discovery stuff and history channel, food network "iron chef" is the bomb!
>
> Any way, have you seen that show "Grisly Man" on discovery? I found some recovery/addiction stuff in that story, it is far out though.
> --- In twelvestepsoulfood4thespirit@yahoogroups.com, "Chuck B." xtrelanex@ wrote:
> >
> > The only TV I watch are generally the documentaries: History, Discovery, etc. Someone turned me and Lori on to Boston Legal about 4 months ago (Tuesdays at 10, ABC) and it is GREAT! It tackles some pretty deep social issues each week with intelligence and wit, and my only objection is that the good guys almost always win (which people like you and I know just doesn't happen all the time!).
> >
> > And I usually HATE episodic TV - I really don't like to plan my week around a TV show so I don't miss what happens.
> >
> > Chuck B.
> >
> >
> > -----Original Message-----
> > From: twelvestepsoulfood4thespirit@yahoogroups.com [mailto:twelvestepsoulfood4thespirit@yahoogroups.com]On Behalf Of P Patterson
> > Sent: Monday, February 27, 2006 10:57 PM
> > To: twelvestepsoulfood4thespirit@yahoogroups.com
> > Subject: RE: [TwelveStepSoulFood4 theSpirit] Topic: Forgiveness
> >
> >
> > That's so true Chuck. I still have all the damn bruises from hitting my bottom. That's the reason why I don't want to go back.
> >
> > Boston Legal? Never heard of it. But I don't watch tv so that doesn't help.
> >
> >
> >
> > "Chuck B." xtrelanex@ wrote:
> > Not that this is even remotely equivalent in importance to what is being discussed, but the topic if enabling reminds me of something I saw on one of my favorite TV shows (I only have 3) last week: Does anyone watch Boston Legal? Did anybody watch last week when Renee Aberjonois was reunited with his drug addict daughter after 7 years? He had cut her off because she stole from him and abused him to support her habit, which is exactly what he should have done, IMHO.
> >
> > The daughter, however, was FURIOUS with him for cutting her off, even after 7 years of being clean and sober, not even so much as telling him that he had a 2 year old grand daughter. She said he had "abandoned" her right at the time she needed him most -- and shaken her "faith" in her father. At the end of the show, the two were still unreconciled, but there was some relief for the viewer when Candice Bergen's character reassured the Renee Aberjonois character that his daughter was clean and sober because of what he had done and if she couldn't see that, he should at least forgive himself.
> >
> > I sat there slack jawed in disbelief as I witnessed the daughter yelling at her father that he had "abandoned her" wondering what fellowship she attended (hah!) and how on Earth she could stay clean that long without any semblance of the steps. I felt she should be on her knees thanking her father for the courage that helped to save her life. I was SO astounded I found the whole episode totally Unbelievable and I didn't think it sent out a clear message to the millions of parents and families with the courage to let their addict families write "their own stories."
> >
> > Nobody gets clean until they are allowed to hit their bottom.
> >
> >
> > -----Original Message-----
> > From: twelvestepsoulfood4thespirit@yahoogroups.com [mailto:twelvestepsoulfood4thespirit@yahoogroups.com]On Behalf Of connie amstone
> > Sent: Monday, February 27, 2006 2:55 PM
> > To: twelvestepsoulfood4thespirit@yahoogroups.com
> > Subject: Re: [TwelveStepSoulFood4 theSpirit] Topic: Forgiveness
> >
> >
> > Thanks Carol, My father continues to enable my younger brother 41 and my sister who is 45 both meth addicts. Funny, before my mom died he blamed my mom for enabling my brother and sister but now he continues to do the same. I can just pray they will find the rooms. After my meth addict son died in 92 I paid my brother and sister $10 an hour to attend NA with me for around a year. They still did not get it and I ran out of spare money and the truth hurt when my sponsor confronted me about it.
> >
> >
> > ---------------------------------
> > Yahoo! Mail
> > Bring photos to life! New PhotoMail makes sharing a breeze.
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > - Great Spirit, You are my peace and you dwell within me. Let me look for You within myself.
> >
> >
> > As you are aware of, this is a fairly busy list, with lots of emails each day. I know a lot of people can be overwhelmed by the amount of emails they receive on lists and it can make you want to unsubscribe.
> >
> > To help make your life easier (and less stressful) there are options for your group mail.
> >
> > 1.You can pick to read on the 'web only'...you get NO emails to your email program, you simply login to yahoo at http://groups.yahoo.com/mygroups and click on the group that you want to read, then you would click on "messages" in the sidebar on the left.
> >
> > 2.You can subscribe as 'daily digest'. With this option, you get one or two emails daily, which include all the emails to the group, you just get to read them in bunches instead of individually. Also there are no graphics or pictures.
> >
> > To choose either of these options, you go to your groups page at http://groups.yahoo.com/mygroups , then click "edit my groups" on the on title bar, then under "message delivery" there will be a drop down list, click on the checkmark and it will show your options.. you can choose:
> >
> > individual emails
> >
> > daily digest
> >
> > special notices- web only but you will get special notices to your inbox.
> >
> > no email - read on the site only.
> >
> > Its as simple as that.
> >
> > Make sure you click on 'save changes' at the bottom of the page and you can exit.
> >
> > If you ever need any help, Im an email away. I can also help you set up your mail delivery settings.
> >
> >
> > In loving service,
> > Scott
> > YOUnMEnHP@
> >
> >
> >
> > SPONSORED LINKS
> > Drug addiction Addiction recovery program Recovery from addiction Addiction recovery center Symptoms of drug addiction Christian addiction recovery
> >
> > ---------------------------------
> > YAHOO! GROUPS LINKS
> >
> >
> > Visit your group "twelvestepsoulfood4thespirit" on the web.
> >
> > To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
> > twelvestepsoulfood4thespirit-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com
> >
> > Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.
> >
> >
> > ---------------------------------
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > ---------------------------------
> > Yahoo! Mail
> > Bring photos to life! New PhotoMail makes sharing a breeze.
> >
>
>
>
> As you are aware of, this is a fairly busy list, with lots of emails each day. I know a lot of people can be overwhelmed by the amount of emails they receive on lists and it can make you want to unsubscribe.
>
> To help make your life easier (and less stressful) there are options for your group mail.
>
> 1.You can pick to read on the 'web only'...you get NO emails to your email program, you simply login to yahoo at http://groups.yahoo.com/mygroups and click on the group that you want to read, then you would click on "messages" in the sidebar on the left.
>
> 2.You can subscribe as 'daily digest'. With this option, you get one or two emails daily, which include all the emails to the group, you just get to read them in bunches instead of individually. Also there are no graphics or pictures.
>
> To choose either of these options, you go to your groups page at http://groups.yahoo.com/mygroups , then click "edit my groups" on the on title bar, then under "message delivery" there will be a drop down list, click on the checkmark and it will show your options.. you can choose:
>
> individual emails
>
> daily digest
>
> special notices- web only but you will get special notices to your inbox.
>
> no email - read on the site only.
>
> Its as simple as that.
>
> Make sure you click on 'save changes' at the bottom of the page and you can exit.
>
> If you ever need any help, Im an email away. I can also help you set up your mail delivery settings.
>
>
> In loving service,
> Scott
> YOUnMEnHP@...
>
>
>
> SPONSORED LINKS
> Drug addiction Addiction recovery program Recovery from addiction Addiction recovery center Symptoms of drug addiction Christian addiction recovery
>
> ---------------------------------
> YAHOO! GROUPS LINKS
>
>
> Visit your group "twelvestepsoulfood4thespirit" on the web.
>
> To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
> twelvestepsoulfood4thespirit-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com
>
> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.
>
>
> ---------------------------------
>
>
>
>
> ---------------------------------
> Relax. Yahoo! Mail virus scanning helps detect nasty viruses!
>

       ==  ==      "we are each of us angels
     <^\()/\()/^>       with but one wing,  
      \/  \/  \/       and can only fly by
       /  \/  \        embracing each other"
       `""``""`

For the daily recovery email please visit me at:
www.groups.google.com/group/12-Step-Soul-Food-for-the-Spirit

For the daily recovery email please visit me at:
www.health.groups.yahoo.com/group/12StepSoulFoodForTheSpirit

For the weekly topic meeting please visit me at:
www.health.groups.yahoo.com/group/twelvestepsoulfood4thespirit

---

From: <judy4na@...>
Reply-To: <twelvestepsoulfood4thespirit@yahoogroups.com>
Date: Tue, 28 Feb 2006 23:24:02 -0500
To: <twelvestepsoulfood4thespirit@yahoogroups.com>
Subject: RE: [TwelveStepSoulFood4 theSpirit] Re: Father Time and this disease

Hello and hugs family, I may be weird and thats ok for this addict today.....its been well over 8 years since i have had a romantic relationship in my life........and actually after looking at all that when I did step 4, I have never ever had a real relationship like that since Jr high school cuz as we all know 2 addicts out in active addiction have no idea in the world what a relationship is all about.
I am still learning who Judy is and it is first very important to learn how to have a relationship first with your HP,family, yourself, other members, regular ppl etc......
when my HP is ready for me to have a romance , he will make the way possible for it to happen and if not thats ok with me today, for Happiness is an inside job....I don't need ppl or things or money to make me happy, that hole inside me is filled with the love and faith of my Higher Power......
thank you for letting me share....(((((((hugs and love)))))))))),Judy O

"Nothing Worth Having Comes Easy"
 
 

----- Original Message -----
From: kcfpml <mailto:kcfpml@...>  
To: twelvestepsoulfood4thespirit@yahoogroups.com
Sent: 2/28/2006 6:05:03 PM
Subject: [TwelveStepSoulFood4 theSpirit] Re: Father Time and this disease

Hi,

I'm with you I don't think I went anywhere near dating till after 5
years not that there is a magic number.  All sides waiting not
waiting have advantages/disadvantages.  Sooner or later I wanted to
play in the world with others and I had to start an inch at a time.  
It was rough but worth it...just letting you know...might be many of
us here that took it slow.  My best dating began with friendship at
my meetings.

K.
--- In
twelvestepsoulfood4thespirit@yahoogroups.com, "jasonclevengerci"
<jasonclevengerci@...> wrote:
>
> Relationships. I'm still wondering if I am even ready to attempt
> opening that door yet. All of my past relationships [if you could
> call them that] involved me being medicated. Just the thought of
> sober dating scares the crud out of me. Even the act of talking
face
> to face with a female on that level causes me to lock up. Its
> amazing how someone nearly half my size and scare me so much[lol]  
> You would think after 3 1/2 years of sobriety it wouldnt be so
> scary. I still dont know if I am ready for the stress involed with
> dating and relationships but I do get lonely.
> Jason
>
> --- In twelvestepsoulfood4thespirit@yahoogroups.com, mona johnson
> <mojohn_99_1998@> wrote:
> >
> > I have found four relationships in the room.  There
> > was Chuck Norris, Errol Flynn, John Travolta and now I
> > have Kevin Bacon.
> > They all turned into Stephen King monsters after they
> > returned to their addictions.
> > I looked like Marilyn Monroe when I started in the
> > rooms thirty years ago.  Now I
> > look like Kathy Bates.  This disease and Father Time
> > takes its toll on us all.
> > My insides are so different though.  I don't look like
> > Marilyn Monroe any more but I like who I am.
> > What the disease takes away the program gives back.
> > It takes the rough diamonds of our past and chisels
> > them into gems.
> > Thanks for letting me share.  Mona J.
> >
> > --- "Chuck B." <xtrelanex@> wrote:
> >
> > > -----Original Message-----
> > > From: twelvestepsoulfood4thespirit@yahoogroups.com
> > >
> > [mailto:twelvestepsoulfood4thespirit@yahoogroups.com]On
> > > Behalf Of P Patterson
> > >
> >
> > __________________________________________________
> > Do You Yahoo!?
> > Tired of spam?  Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around
> > http://mail.yahoo.com
> >
>

• Visit your group "twelvestepsoulfood4thespirit <http://groups.yahoo.com/group/twelvestepsoulfood4thespirit> " on the web.
•  
• To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
• twelvestepsoulfood4thespirit-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com <mailto:twelvestepsoulfood4thespirit-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com?subject=Unsubscribe>
•  
• Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service <http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/> .
  

Thanx I needed that! Its amazing just what talking about it does for
you. I'm just going to keep trusting God, cleaning my house , and
helping others.
love in recovery ,
jason

--- In twelvestepsoulfood4thespirit@yahoogroups.com, YOUnMEnHP
<YOUnMEnHP@...> wrote:
>
> (((Jason))) a BIG hug to you
> Lonely is neither bad or good,
> It just is.....
> and it is what you do with lonely that counts.
> Keep stepping,
> Keep your eye on God,
> You don't have to know if you are ready for a relationship,
> God knows
> and he is the ultimate authority.
> Continue taking care of yourself
> and continue practicing what a healthy relationship is,
> with your safest place to learn, with your relationship with your
sponsor.
> You are on your way :)
> Stay in the Light,
> In loving service,
> Scott H. from N.Y. ~ cleandate 10/27/88
> YOUnMEnHP@...
>
>         ==  ==      "we are each of us angels
>      <^\()/\()/^>       with but one wing,
>       \/  \/  \/       and can only fly by
>        /  \/  \        embracing each other"
>        `""``""`
>
> For the daily recovery email please visit me at:
> www.groups.google.com/group/12-Step-Soul-Food-for-the-Spirit
>
> For the daily recovery email please visit me at:
> www.health.groups.yahoo.com/group/12StepSoulFoodForTheSpirit
>
> For the weekly topic meeting please visit me at:
> www.health.groups.yahoo.com/group/twelvestepsoulfood4thespirit
>
>
>
> > From: jasonclevengerci <jasonclevengerci@...>
> > Reply-To: <twelvestepsoulfood4thespirit@yahoogroups.com>
> > Date: Tue, 28 Feb 2006 19:11:00 +0000
> > To: <twelvestepsoulfood4thespirit@yahoogroups.com>
> > Subject: [TwelveStepSoulFood4 theSpirit] Re: Father Time and
this disease
> >
> > Relationships. I'm still wondering if I am even ready to attempt
> > opening that door yet. All of my past relationships [if you could
> > call them that] involved me being medicated. Just the thought of
> > sober dating scares the crud out of me. Even the act of talking
face
> > to face with a female on that level causes me to lock up. Its
> > amazing how someone nearly half my size and scare me so much[lol]
> > You would think after 3 1/2 years of sobriety it wouldnt be so
> > scary. I still dont know if I am ready for the stress involed
with
> > dating and relationships but I do get lonely.
> > Jason
> >
> > --- In twelvestepsoulfood4thespirit@yahoogroups.com, mona johnson
> > <mojohn_99_1998@> wrote:
> >>
> >> I have found four relationships in the room.  There
> >> was Chuck Norris, Errol Flynn, John Travolta and now I
> >> have Kevin Bacon.
> >> They all turned into Stephen King monsters after they
> >> returned to their addictions.
> >> I looked like Marilyn Monroe when I started in the
> >> rooms thirty years ago.  Now I
> >> look like Kathy Bates.  This disease and Father Time
> >> takes its toll on us all.
> >> My insides are so different though.  I don't look like
> >> Marilyn Monroe any more but I like who I am.
> >> What the disease takes away the program gives back.
> >> It takes the rough diamonds of our past and chisels
> >> them into gems.
> >> Thanks for letting me share.  Mona J.
> >>
> >> --- "Chuck B." <xtrelanex@> wrote:
> >>
> >>> -----Original Message-----
> >>> From: twelvestepsoulfood4thespirit@yahoogroups.com
> >>>
> >> [mailto:twelvestepsoulfood4thespirit@yahoogroups.com]On
> >>> Behalf Of P Patterson
> >>>
> >>
> >> __________________________________________________
> >> Do You Yahoo!?
> >> Tired of spam?  Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around
> >> http://mail.yahoo.com
> >>
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > As you are aware of, this is a fairly busy list, with lots of
emails each day.
> > I know a lot of people can be overwhelmed by the amount of
emails they receive
> > on lists and it can make you want to unsubscribe.
> >
> > To help make your life easier (and less stressful) there are
options for your
> > group mail.
> >
> > 1.You can pick to read on the 'web only'...you get NO emails to
your email
> > program, you simply login to yahoo at
http://groups.yahoo.com/mygroups and
> > click on the group that you want to read, then you would click
on "messages"
> > in the sidebar on the left.
> >
> > 2.You can subscribe as 'daily digest'.  With this option, you
get one or two
> > emails daily, which include all the emails to the group, you
just get to read
> > them in bunches instead of individually. Also there are no
graphics or
> > pictures.
> >
> > To choose either of these options, you go to your groups page at
> > http://groups.yahoo.com/mygroups , then click "edit my groups"
on the on title
> > bar, then under "message delivery" there will be a drop down
list, click on
> > the checkmark and it will show your options.. you can choose:
> >
> > individual emails
> >
> > daily digest
> >
> > special notices- web only but you will get special notices to
your inbox.
> >
> > no email - read on the site only.
> >
> > Its as simple as that.
> >
> > Make sure you click on 'save changes' at the bottom of the page
and you can
> > exit.
> >
> > If you ever need any help, Im an email away. I can also help you
set up your
> > mail delivery settings.
> >
> >
> > In loving service,
> > Scott
> > YOUnMEnHP@...
> > Yahoo! Groups Links
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
>

       ==  ==      "we are each of us angels
     <^\()/\()/^>       with but one wing,  
      \/  \/  \/       and can only fly by
       /  \/  \        embracing each other"
       `""``""`

For the daily recovery email please visit me at:
www.groups.google.com/group/12-Step-Soul-Food-for-the-Spirit

For the daily recovery email please visit me at:
www.health.groups.yahoo.com/group/12StepSoulFoodForTheSpirit

For the weekly topic meeting please visit me at:
www.health.groups.yahoo.com/group/twelvestepsoulfood4thespirit

---

From: <judy4na@...>
Reply-To: <twelvestepsoulfood4thespirit@yahoogroups.com>
Date: Tue, 28 Feb 2006 23:13:02 -0500
To: twelvestepsoulfood4thespirit <twelvestepsoulfood4thespirit@yahoogroups.com>
Subject: [TwelveStepSoulFood4 theSpirit] RE: weekly topic

Hello and hugs family and wow it has been a long time since I have shared on a weekly topic......you all always told me I should share my ESH in hopes that it may help another addict so here goes....
Well, I felt the same way when i first got to NA......
I use to stand outside of meetings by myself watching the big groups of members laughing and talking together ....I was so painfully shy and such low self esteem back then , I could not seem to make myself walk up and admit to being a newcomer and no one ever approached me back then.....( I am guessing its because I had a probation paper in my hands)............so I found another meeting at the same meeting place that was very small and things changed majorly for me.......all of a sudden I had a sponsor and sponcee sisters who came and took me all over to meetings,they also introduced me to service....showed me how just by stacking chairs and helping to clean up just improved my personal recovery almost instantly I started feeling a part of.....I went out to fellowship and out to coffee and I started letting other members inside to get to know me......I became my HG's GSR and my areas Helpline Chair and I have not looked back since.....now you can't shut me up (Ask Scott (LOL))
I have not felt like an outsider now for years......so ,my suggestion is if you are feeling like a outsider at those big huge meetings, try the smaller ones .......sure worked for this addict.......ask to help clean up, find yourself a Homegroup and suit up and show up and get involved in some service, help yourself and your fellowship at the same time, benefits are amazing........
Thanks for letting me share, Love and hugs to you all family, Judy O

 
"Nothing Worth Having Comes Easy"
 
"I am having a problem connecting with people in the rooms, do I need
to make the same meetings every week? I am not connecting and feel
like an outsider, I don't understand why?"



As you are aware of, this is a fairly busy list, with lots of emails each day.  I know a lot of people can be overwhelmed by the amount of emails they receive on lists and it can make you want to unsubscribe.

To help make your life easier (and less stressful) there are options for your group mail.

1.You can pick to read on the 'web only'...you get NO emails to your email program, you simply login to yahoo at http://groups.yahoo.com/mygroups and click on the group that you want to read, then you would click on "messages" in the sidebar on the left.

2.You can subscribe as 'daily digest'.  With this option, you get one or two emails daily, which include all the emails to the group, you just get to read them in bunches instead of individually. Also there are no graphics or pictures.

To choose either of these options, you go to your groups page at http://groups.yahoo.com/mygroups , then click "edit my groups" on the on title bar, then under "message delivery" there will be a drop down list, click on the checkmark and it will show your options.. you can choose:

individual emails

daily digest

special notices- web only but you will get special notices to your inbox.

no email - read on the site only.

Its as simple as that.

Make sure you click on 'save changes' at the bottom of the page and you can exit.

If you ever need any help, Im an email away. I can also help you set up your mail delivery settings.


In loving service,
Scott
YOUnMEnHP@...

  

 
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•  
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No,  but I do watch "Survivorman"!  I'm like you:  I use my DVRs (I have  2) to watch ALL my TV.  I can't rely on network scheduling to fit  into my life!

 
 
What's up with Grisly Man?  Never heard of it.

 
 
Chuck B.

 
 
PS:  I'm in my second relationship in recovery and I have 9  1/2 years.  The first one lasted almost 8 years and was pretty good  (nyeh ~) and now I'm happier than a drug addict locked in a Merck  warehouse!  We  Lori and I are getting married in August (I  think).  So don't give up - but nobody's perfect, that's for sure!   (Except me, of course.)

 
 
 
 
-----Original Message-----
From:  twelvestepsoulfood4thespirit@yahoogroups.com  [mailto:twelvestepsoulfood4thespirit@yahoogroups.com]On Behalf Of  jedicowboybw
Sent: Tuesday, February 28, 2006 3:58  PM
To:  twelvestepsoulfood4thespirit@yahoogroups.com
Subject: Re:  [TwelveStepSoulFood4 theSpirit] Topic: Forgiveness


Hey Chuck, I am going to set my  DVR for this show, that sounds interesting. I don't watch that much TV, I'm  like you, I like the discovery stuff and history channel, food network "iron  chef" is the bomb!

Any way, have you seen that show  "Grisly Man" on discovery? I found some recovery/addiction stuff in that  story, it is far out though.
--- In  twelvestepsoulfood4thespirit@yahoogroups.com, "Chuck B." <xtrelanex@...>  wrote:
>
> The only TV I watch are generally the documentaries:  History, Discovery, etc. Someone turned me and Lori on to Boston Legal about 4  months ago (Tuesdays at 10, ABC) and it is GREAT! It tackles some pretty deep  social issues each week with intelligence and wit, and my only objection is  that the good guys almost always win (which people like you and I know just  doesn't happen all the time!).
>
> And I usually HATE episodic TV  - I really don't like to plan my week around a TV show so I don't miss what  happens.
>
> Chuck B.
>
>
> -----Original  Message-----
> From: twelvestepsoulfood4thespirit@yahoogroups.com  [mailto:twelvestepsoulfood4thespirit@yahoogroups.com]On Behalf Of P  Patterson
> Sent: Monday, February 27, 2006 10:57 PM
> To:  twelvestepsoulfood4thespirit@yahoogroups.com
> Subject: RE:  [TwelveStepSoulFood4 theSpirit] Topic: Forgiveness
>
>
>  That's so true Chuck. I still have all the damn bruises from hitting my  bottom. That's the reason why I don't want to go back.
>
> Boston  Legal? Never heard of it. But I don't watch tv so that doesn't help.
>  
>
>
> "Chuck B." xtrelanex@... wrote:
> Not that  this is even remotely equivalent in importance to what is being discussed, but  the topic if enabling reminds me of something I saw on one of my favorite TV  shows (I only have 3) last week: Does anyone watch Boston Legal? Did anybody  watch last week when Renee Aberjonois was reunited with his drug addict  daughter after 7 years? He had cut her off because she stole from him and  abused him to support her habit, which is exactly what he should have done,  IMHO.
>
> The daughter, however, was FURIOUS with him for cutting  her off, even after 7 years of being clean and sober, not even so much as  telling him that he had a 2 year old grand daughter. She said he had  "abandoned" her right at the time she needed him most -- and shaken her  "faith" in her father. At the end of the show, the two were still  unreconciled, but there was some relief for the viewer when Candice Bergen's  character reassured the Renee Aberjonois character that his daughter was clean  and sober because of what he had done and if she couldn't see that, he should  at least forgive himself.
>
> I sat there slack jawed in  disbelief as I witnessed the daughter yelling at her father that he had  "abandoned her" wondering what fellowship she attended (hah!) and how on Earth  she could stay clean that long without any semblance of the steps. I felt she  should be on her knees thanking her father for the courage that helped to save  her life. I was SO astounded I found the whole episode totally Unbelievable  and I didn't think it sent out a clear message to the millions of parents and  families with the courage to let their addict families write "their own  stories."
>
> Nobody gets clean until they are allowed to hit  their bottom.
>
>
> -----Original Message-----
>  From: twelvestepsoulfood4thespirit@yahoogroups.com  [mailto:twelvestepsoulfood4thespirit@yahoogroups.com]On Behalf Of connie  amstone
> Sent: Monday, February 27, 2006 2:55 PM
> To:  twelvestepsoulfood4thespirit@yahoogroups.com
> Subject: Re:  [TwelveStepSoulFood4 theSpirit] Topic: Forgiveness
>
>
>  Thanks Carol, My father continues to enable my younger brother 41 and my  sister who is 45 both meth addicts. Funny, before my mom died he blamed my mom  for enabling my brother and sister but now he continues to do the same. I can  just pray they will find the rooms. After my meth addict son died in 92 I paid  my brother and sister $10 an hour to attend NA with me for around a year. They  still did not get it and I ran out of spare money and the truth hurt when my  sponsor confronted me about it.
>
>
>  ---------------------------------
> Yahoo! Mail
> Bring photos to  life! New PhotoMail makes sharing a breeze.
>
>
>  
>
>
>
>
>
>
> - Great Spirit,  You are my peace and you dwell within me. Let me look for You within  myself.
>
>
> As you are aware of, this is a fairly busy  list, with lots of emails each day. I know a lot of people can be overwhelmed  by the amount of emails they receive on lists and it can make you want to  unsubscribe.
>
> To help make your life easier (and less  stressful) there are options for your group mail.
>
> 1.You can  pick to read on the 'web only'...you get NO emails to your email program, you  simply login to yahoo at http://groups.yahoo.com/mygroups and click on the  group that you want to read, then you would click on "messages" in the sidebar  on the left.
>
> 2.You can subscribe as 'daily digest'. With this  option, you get one or two emails daily, which include all the emails to the  group, you just get to read them in bunches instead of individually. Also  there are no graphics or pictures.
>
> To choose either of these  options, you go to your groups page at http://groups.yahoo.com/mygroups , then  click "edit my groups" on the on title bar, then under "message delivery"  there will be a drop down list, click on the checkmark and it will show your  options.. you can choose:
>
> individual emails
>
>  daily digest
>
> special notices- web only but you will get  special notices to your inbox.
>
> no email - read on the site  only.
>
> Its as simple as that.
>
> Make sure you  click on 'save changes' at the bottom of the page and you can exit.
>  
> If you ever need any help, Im an email away. I can also help you set  up your mail delivery settings.
>
>
> In loving  service,
> Scott
> YOUnMEnHP@...
>
>
>  
> SPONSORED LINKS
> Drug addiction Addiction recovery program  Recovery from addiction Addiction recovery center Symptoms of drug addiction  Christian addiction recovery
>
>  ---------------------------------
> YAHOO! GROUPS LINKS
>  
>
> Visit your group "twelvestepsoulfood4thespirit" on the  web.
>
> To unsubscribe from this group, send an email  to:
> twelvestepsoulfood4thespirit-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com
>  
> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.  
>
>
> ---------------------------------
>
>  
>
>
> ---------------------------------
> Yahoo!  Mail
> Bring photos to life! New PhotoMail makes sharing a  breeze.
>
 
 

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Its amazing what our higher power can do to rebuild us from the
ground up. In  my addiction I couldnt stand mirrors or especially
photos of myself. I could always see the monster staring back at me.
Now I can look in the mirror at the man not the monster. Its
amazing  when I show people the before recovery pictures they dont
believe its me, and I tell them that they are right that was the
other me. I love the man in the mirror, so I will continue going to
meetings, sharing, praying, and whatever else I have to do to keep
the monster out of my reflection.
thanx 4 letting me share
jason


--- In twelvestepsoulfood4thespirit@yahoogroups.com, P Patterson
<mspjpatterson@...> wrote:
>
> Thanks Connie.  I didn't get what was trying to be said here.  I
always smile now.  Smiling is so not a hard thing for me to do.
Yesterday when it was raining, I was smiling because I knew that I
would be able to see the mountains clearly when the sun came out
today.
>
>   I can finally look in the mirror and enjoy the reflection in the
mirror.  That wasn't always the case when I began recovery.  There
was an exercise that the outpatient program had us to that involved
a dark/dim lit room with a mirror and a candle. We were suppose to
set the candle in front of us while looking in the mirror for 2
minutes and describe to the group what we saw.  I was terrified.  I
saw the scared litte girl, looking for approval from her father, and
afraid of all the domestic violence at home.  Back then when I was
little a small dark room was my hiding place.  I choose it because
it was a dark place just like the dark place in my soul.  When I got
older that dark place was only comforted by alcohol and "escaping"
reality.  I got really upset at that exercise because it forced me
to admit openly that the little girl was still there, still afraid,
still seeking approval and love.
>
>   Today, thanks to these rooms....I don't have that issue any
more.  Just the other day I was lighting candles in my home because
I love vanilla scent.  I happen to put a candle on the vanity in my
bedroom while the lights were out and I smiled at the beautiful
woman that was starring back at me.  I didn't see the natural
person, I saw the spiritual person that loves life and is willing to
do what it takes.
>
>   OK...maybe I understood that reading better than I thought.  LOL
>
>   You asked what I was taking in school.  My master's program will
be Information Technology with an emphasis on network security.
It's what I do now.
>
>   Talk to you later.
>
>   Prescilla
>
>
>
> connie amstone <amstoneus@...> wrote:
>   Hey Presella, what will you take in school? Since you are always
sharing readings here is one for you:           When they take your
smile away they might just as well shoot you.
> --Violet Hensley
>   Violet is one big smile. And it's not the result of having an
easy life. On the contrary, she has worked doubly hard all her life
to support her family. However, she has a joyful attitude, and it
has made the difference in her life. Now in old age, she still works
hard making fiddles for sale and performing music; but she loves
every minute of life, and when you're with her, you love it too.
>   Why aren't we more like Violet? The answer always rests within
us. We have decided how to respond to life's trials. We were never
forced to dread, hate, or appreciate our experiences. We were, and
still are, solely responsible for our interpretation. The Violets of
the world opted to have more fun.
>   How do we begin having more fun? The first step is deciding to
leave the past behind. No matter what our experiences were last year
or in our childhood or even this morning, they don't have to
determine what our experiences will be in this next hour. Having
more fun is clearly a decision that is coupled with action. Any one
of us can do it as well as we want to.
>   Smiling at myself in the mirror is good practice. Offering one
to the first person I encounter strengthens my desire to offer more.
>   From the Hazelden book, Keepers of the Wisdom, by Karen Casey
>
>
> P Patterson <mspjpatterson@...> wrote:
>   Jason,  I thought I was the only one in this room having
(male/female) relationship issues.  The thought of dating has always
but a wrinkle in my undies, but now that I'm sober...I can't get
past finding all the things wrong ones.  Maybe I've over the top as
far as requirements, but I'm happy with myself.  I can love myself
today.  You are right, it does get pretty lonely not being able to
share your day with someone special.  However, I have made a choice
not to be lonely any more.  I've immersed myself in my meetings, my
daughter, and my job...pretty soon, school.  I'm ok with that today.
Thanks for sharing.
>
>
>   BIG HUG
>
>   Prescilla
>
> jasonclevengerci <jasonclevengerci@...> wrote:
>   Relationships. I'm still wondering if I am even ready to attempt
> opening that door yet. All of my past relationships [if you could
> call them that] involved me being medicated. Just the thought of
> sober dating scares the crud out of me. Even the act of talking
face
> to face with a female on that level causes me to lock up. Its
> amazing how someone nearly half my size and scare me so much[lol]
> You would think after 3 1/2 years of sobriety it wouldnt be so
> scary. I still dont know if I am ready for the stress involed with
> dating and relationships but I do get lonely.
> Jason
>
> --- In twelvestepsoulfood4thespirit@yahoogroups.com, mona johnson
> <mojohn_99_1998@> wrote:
> >
> > I have found four relationships in the room.  There
> > was Chuck Norris, Errol Flynn, John Travolta and now I
> > have Kevin Bacon.
> > They all turned into Stephen King monsters after they
> > returned to their addictions.
> > I looked like Marilyn Monroe when I started in the
> > rooms thirty years ago.  Now I
> > look like Kathy Bates.  This disease and Father Time
> > takes its toll on us all.
> > My insides are so different though.  I don't look like
> > Marilyn Monroe any more but I like who I am.
> > What the disease takes away the program gives back.
> > It takes the rough diamonds of our past and chisels
> > them into gems.
> > Thanks for letting me share.  Mona J.
> >
> > --- "Chuck B." <xtrelanex@> wrote:
> >
> > > -----Original Message-----
> > > From: twelvestepsoulfood4thespirit@yahoogroups.com
> > >
> > [mailto:twelvestepsoulfood4thespirit@yahoogroups.com]On
> > > Behalf Of P Patterson
> > >
> >
> > __________________________________________________
> > Do You Yahoo!?
> > Tired of spam?  Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around
> > http://mail.yahoo.com
> >
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>   - Great Spirit, You are my peace and you dwell within me. Let me
look for You within myself.
>
>
> ---------------------------------
>   Yahoo! Mail
> Use Photomail to share photos without annoying attachments.
>
> As you are aware of, this is a fairly busy list, with lots of
emails each day.  I know a lot of people can be overwhelmed by the
amount of emails they receive on lists and it can make you want to
unsubscribe.
>
> To help make your life easier (and less stressful) there are
options for your group mail.
>
> 1.You can pick to read on the 'web only'...you get NO emails to
your email program, you simply login to yahoo at
http://groups.yahoo.com/mygroups and click on the group that you
want to read, then you would click on "messages" in the sidebar on
the left.
>
> 2.You can subscribe as 'daily digest'.  With this option, you get
one or two emails daily, which include all the emails to the group,
you just get to read them in bunches instead of individually. Also
there are no graphics or pictures.
>
> To choose either of these options, you go to your groups page at
http://groups.yahoo.com/mygroups , then click "edit my groups" on
the on title bar, then under "message delivery" there will be a drop
down list, click on the checkmark and it will show your options..
you can choose:
>
> individual emails
>
> daily digest
>
> special notices- web only but you will get special notices to your
inbox.
>
> no email - read on the site only.
>
> Its as simple as that.
>
> Make sure you click on 'save changes' at the bottom of the page
and you can exit.
>
> If you ever need any help, Im an email away. I can also help you
set up your mail delivery settings.
>
>
> In loving service,
> Scott
> YOUnMEnHP@...
>
>
>
> ---------------------------------
>   YAHOO! GROUPS LINKS
>
>
>     Visit your group "twelvestepsoulfood4thespirit" on the web.
>
>     To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
>  twelvestepsoulfood4thespirit-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com
>
>     Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of
Service.
>
>
> ---------------------------------
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>   - Great Spirit, You are my peace and you dwell within me. Let me
look for You within myself.
>

(((Jason))) a BIG hug to you
Lonely is neither bad or good,
It just is.....
and it is what you do with lonely that counts.
Keep stepping,
Keep your eye on God,
You don't have to know if you are ready for a relationship,
God knows
and he is the ultimate authority.
Continue taking care of yourself
and continue practicing what a healthy relationship is,
with your safest place to learn, with your relationship with your sponsor.
You are on your way :)
Stay in the Light,
In loving service,
Scott H. from N.Y. ~ cleandate 10/27/88
YOUnMEnHP@...

         ==  ==      "we are each of us angels
      <^\()/\()/^>       with but one wing,
       \/  \/  \/       and can only fly by
        /  \/  \        embracing each other"
        `""``""`

For the daily recovery email please visit me at:
www.groups.google.com/group/12-Step-Soul-Food-for-the-Spirit

For the daily recovery email please visit me at:
www.health.groups.yahoo.com/group/12StepSoulFoodForTheSpirit

For the weekly topic meeting please visit me at:
www.health.groups.yahoo.com/group/twelvestepsoulfood4thespirit



> From: jasonclevengerci <jasonclevengerci@...>
> Reply-To: <twelvestepsoulfood4thespirit@yahoogroups.com>
> Date: Tue, 28 Feb 2006 19:11:00 +0000
> To: <twelvestepsoulfood4thespirit@yahoogroups.com>
> Subject: [TwelveStepSoulFood4 theSpirit] Re: Father Time and this disease
>
> Relationships. I'm still wondering if I am even ready to attempt
> opening that door yet. All of my past relationships [if you could
> call them that] involved me being medicated. Just the thought of
> sober dating scares the crud out of me. Even the act of talking face
> to face with a female on that level causes me to lock up. Its
> amazing how someone nearly half my size and scare me so much[lol]
> You would think after 3 1/2 years of sobriety it wouldnt be so
> scary. I still dont know if I am ready for the stress involed with
> dating and relationships but I do get lonely.
> Jason
>
> --- In twelvestepsoulfood4thespirit@yahoogroups.com, mona johnson
> <mojohn_99_1998@...> wrote:
>>
>> I have found four relationships in the room.  There
>> was Chuck Norris, Errol Flynn, John Travolta and now I
>> have Kevin Bacon.
>> They all turned into Stephen King monsters after they
>> returned to their addictions.
>> I looked like Marilyn Monroe when I started in the
>> rooms thirty years ago.  Now I
>> look like Kathy Bates.  This disease and Father Time
>> takes its toll on us all.
>> My insides are so different though.  I don't look like
>> Marilyn Monroe any more but I like who I am.
>> What the disease takes away the program gives back.
>> It takes the rough diamonds of our past and chisels
>> them into gems.
>> Thanks for letting me share.  Mona J.
>>
>> --- "Chuck B." <xtrelanex@...> wrote:
>>
>>> -----Original Message-----
>>> From: twelvestepsoulfood4thespirit@yahoogroups.com
>>>
>> [mailto:twelvestepsoulfood4thespirit@yahoogroups.com]On
>>> Behalf Of P Patterson
>>>
>>
>> __________________________________________________
>> Do You Yahoo!?
>> Tired of spam?  Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around
>> http://mail.yahoo.com
>>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> As you are aware of, this is a fairly busy list, with lots of emails each day.
> I know a lot of people can be overwhelmed by the amount of emails they receive
> on lists and it can make you want to unsubscribe.
>
> To help make your life easier (and less stressful) there are options for your
> group mail.
>
> 1.You can pick to read on the 'web only'...you get NO emails to your email
> program, you simply login to yahoo at http://groups.yahoo.com/mygroups and
> click on the group that you want to read, then you would click on "messages"
> in the sidebar on the left.
>
> 2.You can subscribe as 'daily digest'.  With this option, you get one or two
> emails daily, which include all the emails to the group, you just get to read
> them in bunches instead of individually. Also there are no graphics or
> pictures.
>
> To choose either of these options, you go to your groups page at
> http://groups.yahoo.com/mygroups , then click "edit my groups" on the on title
> bar, then under "message delivery" there will be a drop down list, click on
> the checkmark and it will show your options.. you can choose:
>
> individual emails
>
> daily digest
>
> special notices- web only but you will get special notices to your inbox.
>
> no email - read on the site only.
>
> Its as simple as that.
>
> Make sure you click on 'save changes' at the bottom of the page and you can
> exit.
>
> If you ever need any help, Im an email away. I can also help you set up your
> mail delivery settings.
>
>
> In loving service,
> Scott
> YOUnMEnHP@...
> Yahoo! Groups Links
>
>
>
>
>
>
>

(((K))) a BIG hug to you
When traveling makes it difficult to get to a meeting
It is VERY difficult
I can identify.
NA is the only place where you can
walk into a  room full of strangers and reminisce.
Stay in the Light,
In loving service,
Scott H. from N.Y. ~ cleandate 10/27/88
YOUnMEnHP@...

         ==  ==      "we are each of us angels
      <^\()/\()/^>       with but one wing,
       \/  \/  \/       and can only fly by
        /  \/  \        embracing each other"
        `""``""`

For the daily recovery email please visit me at:
www.groups.google.com/group/12-Step-Soul-Food-for-the-Spirit

For the daily recovery email please visit me at:
www.health.groups.yahoo.com/group/12StepSoulFoodForTheSpirit

For the weekly topic meeting please visit me at:
www.health.groups.yahoo.com/group/twelvestepsoulfood4thespirit



> From: kcfpml <kcfpml@...>
> Reply-To: <twelvestepsoulfood4thespirit@yahoogroups.com>
> Date: Tue, 28 Feb 2006 18:46:43 +0000
> To: <twelvestepsoulfood4thespirit@yahoogroups.com>
> Subject: [TwelveStepSoulFood4 theSpirit] missing the home group
>
> Hi All,
>
> Just want to check in as I am traveling and a bit out of sorts
> emotionally.
>
> I am having all the classic "ism" symptoms.  So I have just made a
> call to my fellow AA.  It helped but not enough.  I am missing the
> comfort of a well known meeting.  The ease of saying hello to
> familiar friends whose lives I know and care about.  I miss the way
> the day fades away too as I listen to others in the room share and
> realize how important is this anyway?  I miss that feeling of hope
> from seeing this newcomers eyes opeining up like mine did some...
> (yikes 13..yearsago).
>
> This missing has produced irritability, judgement, a continuous over-
> reaction to life and a general just getting by kind of existence.
> Not at all the happy joyous and free world I know is avaialble.
>
> The good news is I am not missing drinking. I haven't found a way to
> balance the new life responsiblities, marriage to a non-aa, work
> with travel, limited mtgs due to different langagues and general
> lack of time.
>
> Well thats me tonight..
> k.
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> As you are aware of, this is a fairly busy list, with lots of emails each day.
> I know a lot of people can be overwhelmed by the amount of emails they receive
> on lists and it can make you want to unsubscribe.
>
> To help make your life easier (and less stressful) there are options for your
> group mail.
>
> 1.You can pick to read on the 'web only'...you get NO emails to your email
> program, you simply login to yahoo at http://groups.yahoo.com/mygroups and
> click on the group that you want to read, then you would click on "messages"
> in the sidebar on the left.
>
> 2.You can subscribe as 'daily digest'.  With this option, you get one or two
> emails daily, which include all the emails to the group, you just get to read
> them in bunches instead of individually. Also there are no graphics or
> pictures.
>
> To choose either of these options, you go to your groups page at
> http://groups.yahoo.com/mygroups , then click "edit my groups" on the on title
> bar, then under "message delivery" there will be a drop down list, click on
> the checkmark and it will show your options.. you can choose:
>
> individual emails
>
> daily digest
>
> special notices- web only but you will get special notices to your inbox.
>
> no email - read on the site only.
>
> Its as simple as that.
>
> Make sure you click on 'save changes' at the bottom of the page and you can
> exit.
>
> If you ever need any help, Im an email away. I can also help you set up your
> mail delivery settings.
>
>
> In loving service,
> Scott
> YOUnMEnHP@...
> Yahoo! Groups Links
>
>
>
>
>
>

(((Mona))) a BIG hug to you
I love YOU!!!!!
Thanks for sharing with us
Stay in the Light,
In loving service,
Scott H. from N.Y. ~ cleandate 10/27/88
YOUnMEnHP@...

         ==  ==      "we are each of us angels
      <^\()/\()/^>       with but one wing,
       \/  \/  \/       and can only fly by
        /  \/  \        embracing each other"
        `""``""`

For the daily recovery email please visit me at:
www.groups.google.com/group/12-Step-Soul-Food-for-the-Spirit

For the daily recovery email please visit me at:
www.health.groups.yahoo.com/group/12StepSoulFoodForTheSpirit

For the weekly topic meeting please visit me at:
www.health.groups.yahoo.com/group/twelvestepsoulfood4thespirit



> From: mona johnson <mojohn_99_1998@...>
> Reply-To: <twelvestepsoulfood4thespirit@yahoogroups.com>
> Date: Tue, 28 Feb 2006 10:33:40 -0800 (PST)
> To: <twelvestepsoulfood4thespirit@yahoogroups.com>
> Subject: [TwelveStepSoulFood4 theSpirit] Father Time and this disease
>
> I have found four relationships in the room.  There
> was Chuck Norris, Errol Flynn, John Travolta and now I
> have Kevin Bacon.
> They all turned into Stephen King monsters after they
> returned to their addictions.
> I looked like Marilyn Monroe when I started in the
> rooms thirty years ago.  Now I
> look like Kathy Bates.  This disease and Father Time
> takes its toll on us all.
> My insides are so different though.  I don't look like
> Marilyn Monroe any more but I like who I am.
> What the disease takes away the program gives back.
> It takes the rough diamonds of our past and chisels
> them into gems.
> Thanks for letting me share.  Mona J.
>
> --- "Chuck B." <xtrelanex@...> wrote:
>
>> -----Original Message-----
>> From: twelvestepsoulfood4thespirit@yahoogroups.com
>>
> [mailto:twelvestepsoulfood4thespirit@yahoogroups.com]On
>> Behalf Of P Patterson
>>
>
> __________________________________________________
> Do You Yahoo!?
> Tired of spam?  Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around
> http://mail.yahoo.com
>
>
> As you are aware of, this is a fairly busy list, with lots of emails each day.
> I know a lot of people can be overwhelmed by the amount of emails they receive
> on lists and it can make you want to unsubscribe.
>
> To help make your life easier (and less stressful) there are options for your
> group mail.
>
> 1.You can pick to read on the 'web only'...you get NO emails to your email
> program, you simply login to yahoo at http://groups.yahoo.com/mygroups and
> click on the group that you want to read, then you would click on "messages"
> in the sidebar on the left.
>
> 2.You can subscribe as 'daily digest'.  With this option, you get one or two
> emails daily, which include all the emails to the group, you just get to read
> them in bunches instead of individually. Also there are no graphics or
> pictures.
>
> To choose either of these options, you go to your groups page at
> http://groups.yahoo.com/mygroups , then click "edit my groups" on the on title
> bar, then under "message delivery" there will be a drop down list, click on
> the checkmark and it will show your options.. you can choose:
>
> individual emails
>
> daily digest
>
> special notices- web only but you will get special notices to your inbox.
>
> no email - read on the site only.
>
> Its as simple as that.
>
> Make sure you click on 'save changes' at the bottom of the page and you can
> exit.
>
> If you ever need any help, Im an email away. I can also help you set up your
> mail delivery settings.
>
>
> In loving service,
> Scott
> YOUnMEnHP@...
> Yahoo! Groups Links
>
>
>
>
>
>

(((Jason))) a BIG hug to you
That's it in a nutshell
Trust God, Clean House and HELP OTHERS
Stay in the Light,
In loving service,
Scott H. from N.Y. ~ cleandate 10/27/88
YOUnMEnHP@...

         ==  ==      "we are each of us angels
      <^\()/\()/^>       with but one wing,
       \/  \/  \/       and can only fly by
        /  \/  \        embracing each other"
        `""``""`

For the daily recovery email please visit me at:
www.groups.google.com/group/12-Step-Soul-Food-for-the-Spirit

For the daily recovery email please visit me at:
www.health.groups.yahoo.com/group/12StepSoulFoodForTheSpirit

For the weekly topic meeting please visit me at:
www.health.groups.yahoo.com/group/twelvestepsoulfood4thespirit



> From: jasonclevengerci <jasonclevengerci@...>
> Reply-To: <twelvestepsoulfood4thespirit@yahoogroups.com>
> Date: Tue, 28 Feb 2006 14:00:39 +0000
> To: <twelvestepsoulfood4thespirit@yahoogroups.com>
> Subject: Re: [TwelveStepSoulFood4 theSpirit] Topic: Forgiveness
>
> Believe me it took time, a sponsor, and getting honest with myself
> for me to see the gift. My sister had seen me try [sobriety] several
> times before. She told me that she knew that I had got it this time
> when I started caring for someboby besides myself. Thats what htis
> whole program and life itself is all about. Its so simple yet can
> bne so hard to grasp. We must 1st learn to love ourselves so we can
> spread the love to others.
> jason
>
> --- In twelvestepsoulfood4thespirit@yahoogroups.com, connie amstone
> <amstoneus@...> wrote:
>>
>> How wonderful you can see the gift of your sister's boundary
> setting.
>>
>> jasonclevengerci <jasonclevengerci@...> wrote:  Boston legal is 1
> of my faves to. I agree with you about thw mixed
>> messege. The best thing my sister ever did for me was to leave me
> in
>> jail and quit enabling me. We now have the best relationship  ever
>> and to think she once told the judge not to let me out because I
> had
>> burnt all the bridges and had no place to go. I owe alot of my 3
> 1/2
>> years of sobriety to that pivital point!
>> jason
>>
>> --- In twelvestepsoulfood4thespirit@yahoogroups.com, "Chuck B."
>> <xtrelanex@> wrote:
>>>
>>> Not that this is even remotely equivalent in importance to what
> is
>> being discussed, but the topic if enabling reminds me of something
> I
>> saw on one of my favorite TV shows (I only have 3) last week:
> Does
>> anyone watch Boston Legal?  Did anybody watch last week when Renee
>> Aberjonois was reunited with his drug addict daughter after 7
>> years?  He had cut her off because she stole from him and abused
> him
>> to support her habit, which is exactly what he should have done,
>> IMHO.
>>>
>>> The daughter, however, was FURIOUS with him for cutting her off,
>> even after 7 years of being clean and sober, not even so much as
>> telling him that he had a 2 year old grand daughter.  She said he
>> had "abandoned" her right at the time she needed him most -- and
>> shaken her "faith" in her father.  At the end of the show, the two
>> were still unreconciled, but there was some relief for the viewer
>> when Candice Bergen's character reassured the Renee Aberjonois
>> character that his daughter was clean and sober because of what he
>> had done and if she couldn't see that, he should at least forgive
>> himself.
>>>
>>> I sat there slack jawed in disbelief as I witnessed the daughter
>> yelling at her father that he had "abandoned her" wondering what
>> fellowship she attended (hah!) and how on Earth she could stay
> clean
>> that long without any semblance of the steps.  I felt she should
> be
>> on her knees thanking her father for the courage that helped to
> save
>> her life.  I was SO astounded I found the whole episode totally
>> Unbelievable and I didn't think it sent out a clear message to the
>> millions of parents and families with the courage to let their
>> addict families write "their own stories."
>>>
>>> Nobody gets clean until they are allowed to hit their bottom.
>>>
>>>
>>> -----Original Message-----
>>> From: twelvestepsoulfood4thespirit@yahoogroups.com
>> [mailto:twelvestepsoulfood4thespirit@yahoogroups.com]On Behalf Of
>> connie amstone
>>> Sent: Monday, February 27, 2006 2:55 PM
>>> To: twelvestepsoulfood4thespirit@yahoogroups.com
>>> Subject: Re: [TwelveStepSoulFood4 theSpirit] Topic: Forgiveness
>>>
>>>
>>> Thanks Carol, My father continues to enable my younger brother
> 41
>> and my sister who is 45 both meth addicts. Funny, before my mom
> died
>> he blamed my mom for enabling my brother and sister but now he
>> continues to do the same. I can just pray they will find the
> rooms.
>> After my meth addict son died in 92 I paid my brother and sister
> $10
>> an hour to attend NA with me for around a year. They still did not
>> get it and I ran out of spare money and the truth hurt when my
>> sponsor confronted me about it.
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> ---------------------------------
>>> Yahoo! Mail
>>> Bring photos to life! New PhotoMail  makes sharing a breeze.
>>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> As you are aware of, this is a fairly busy list, with lots of
> emails each day.  I know a lot of people can be overwhelmed by the
> amount of emails they receive on lists and it can make you want to
> unsubscribe.
>>
>> To help make your life easier (and less stressful) there are
> options for your group mail.
>>
>> 1.You can pick to read on the 'web only'...you get NO emails to
> your email program, you simply login to yahoo at
> http://groups.yahoo.com/mygroups and click on the group that you
> want to read, then you would click on "messages" in the sidebar on
> the left.
>>
>> 2.You can subscribe as 'daily digest'.  With this option, you get
> one or two emails daily, which include all the emails to the group,
> you just get to read them in bunches instead of individually. Also
> there are no graphics or pictures.
>>
>> To choose either of these options, you go to your groups page at
> http://groups.yahoo.com/mygroups , then click "edit my groups" on
> the on title bar, then under "message delivery" there will be a drop
> down list, click on the checkmark and it will show your options..
> you can choose:
>>
>> individual emails
>>
>> daily digest
>>
>> special notices- web only but you will get special notices to your
> inbox.
>>
>> no email - read on the site only.
>>
>> Its as simple as that.
>>
>> Make sure you click on 'save changes' at the bottom of the page
> and you can exit.
>>
>> If you ever need any help, Im an email away. I can also help you
> set up your mail delivery settings.
>>
>>
>> In loving service,
>> Scott
>> YOUnMEnHP@...
>>
>>
>>
>>   SPONSORED LINKS
>>         Drug addiction   Addiction recovery program   Recovery
> from addiction     Addiction recovery center   Symptoms of drug
> addiction   Christian addiction recovery
>>
>> ---------------------------------
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>>
>>
>>     Visit your group "twelvestepsoulfood4thespirit" on the web.
>>
>>     To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
>>  twelvestepsoulfood4thespirit-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com
>>
>>     Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of
> Service.
>>
>>
>> ---------------------------------
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> ---------------------------------
>> Brings words and photos together (easily) with
>>  PhotoMail  - it's free and works with Yahoo! Mail.
>>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> As you are aware of, this is a fairly busy list, with lots of emails each day.
> I know a lot of people can be overwhelmed by the amount of emails they receive
> on lists and it can make you want to unsubscribe.
>
> To help make your life easier (and less stressful) there are options for your
> group mail.
>
> 1.You can pick to read on the 'web only'...you get NO emails to your email
> program, you simply login to yahoo at http://groups.yahoo.com/mygroups and
> click on the group that you want to read, then you would click on "messages"
> in the sidebar on the left.
>
> 2.You can subscribe as 'daily digest'.  With this option, you get one or two
> emails daily, which include all the emails to the group, you just get to read
> them in bunches instead of individually. Also there are no graphics or
> pictures.
>
> To choose either of these options, you go to your groups page at
> http://groups.yahoo.com/mygroups , then click "edit my groups" on the on title
> bar, then under "message delivery" there will be a drop down list, click on
> the checkmark and it will show your options.. you can choose:
>
> individual emails
>
> daily digest
>
> special notices- web only but you will get special notices to your inbox.
>
> no email - read on the site only.
>
> Its as simple as that.
>
> Make sure you click on 'save changes' at the bottom of the page and you can
> exit.
>
> If you ever need any help, Im an email away. I can also help you set up your
> mail delivery settings.
>
>
> In loving service,
> Scott
> YOUnMEnHP@...
> Yahoo! Groups Links
>
>
>
>
>
>

*   *   *

 
Dearest Family,
 
 
  
Prescilla - alcoholic (DOS 9/25/04) just chiming in.  LOL
 
 
  
I don't know if anyone noticed but "getting involved" and "connecting" is really not a problem for me.  However, it took these rooms for me to feel comfortable enough to reach out for the help that I needed and still need from people in these rooms.  That meant I had to come out of myself long enough to connect to the people that understood my plight.
 
 
  
I would sit and listen but my stubborn ass didn't want to learn any thing.  I was so deep into denial that I couldn't see the forest for the trees.  Much to my dismay I learned that people in these rooms are sick (some sicker than me =) and hopefully looking for a way to get well.  I was told by an old timer "stick with the winners kid and you will get this program".   That's what I get for attending the old timers meeting everyday.  To them, I was the kid. =)
 
 
  
That was great advice but I didn't have the slightest clue "how" to do what he said.  I couldn't love myself let alone talk to people and relate.  I'd lost everything in my life that I was barely hanging onto.  I was a pile of fear and tears.  Mostly tears because not only had I lost my best friend and lover alcohol, but the man I considered the love of my life -- my soulmate.
 
 
  
Another old timer saw my tears and he came up and gave me a hug.  He looked at my tear soaked face and told me, "Don't worry.  We will love you until you can love yourself."  Oh what an ephiphany!  I didn't have to work at loving me, I just needed to get better.  For some reason, that gave me permission to work with a sponsor going through the steps.  It gave me permission to work at the deep black hole that was in my soul for seemingly all my life.  It gave me permission to find this higher power or God that everyone was talking about.  I knew that someone would love me while I was doing this, therefore I could forget about "me" long enough to  work on me from the inside.  I didn't love me anyway...so in my mind, I was free to accomplish this.  <<laugh>>  Whatever it takes, right?
 
 
  
With all the permission to work on my inside, gee, guess what?  Everyone looked, sounded, and acted different on the outside.  Like Bill W. says in his story, it was like the scales were peeled off his eyes.  I was blessed to have people come up to me!  People actually wanted to know how I was doing.  With this change, I was given more permission to share, to open up to people, to talk with people freely once again.  I don't know if you noticed, talking is not an issue for me. =)
 
 
  
For my job, I have to network for survival in the business world.  I always prided myself on being able to keep a selection of "key" people in my life that could help in the long run.  Thanks to these rooms, I don't have to do that.  I have a power greater than me, sending the "winners" directly to my path in my sobriety, my personal, and my professional life.  Many of those winners, I already have in my life.  My mother, brother, daughter, friends that I've known for a while; all have seen different aspects of my disease.  Some of them were there through the worst times of my life and just listened.  When the rubber needed to meet the road, it was my mother that dug in deep and just guided me out.  She didn't enable or try to save me, she just loved me and kept me encouraged -- and she's never been through AA or recovery but she is an alcoholic sober 25+ years.  All of these people have expressed their greatest admiration for my efforts with AA.  Thanks to these rooms, I was able to accept their love and admiration for me.  I was finally starting to love me.
 
 
  
My fears are limited now to my own selfish and self centered thoughts, doubts, and the head commitee trying to keep me in a state of confusion.  Staying focused on some days, especially today, is not easy but I will do the best I can to surrender the things I can't control and reach out to the sources where my help and strength come from; God and these rooms.
 
 
  
Thank you for letting me share.
 
 
  
With love in recovery,
 
 
  
Prescilla


 
  
 
  
 
  
 
  
 
  
 
  
- Great Spirit, You are my peace and you dwell within me. Let me look for You within myself.


As you are aware of, this is a fairly busy list, with lots of emails each day.  I know a lot of people can be overwhelmed by the amount of emails they receive on lists and it can make you want to unsubscribe.

To help make your life easier (and less stressful) there are options for your group mail.

1.You can pick to read on the 'web only'...you get NO emails to your email program, you simply login to yahoo at http://groups.yahoo.com/mygroups and click on the group that you want to read, then you would click on "messages" in the sidebar on the left.

2.You can subscribe as 'daily digest'.  With this option, you get one or two emails daily, which include all the emails to the group, you just get to read them in bunches instead of individually. Also there are no graphics or pictures.

To choose either of these options, you go to your groups page at http://groups.yahoo.com/mygroups , then click "edit my groups" on the on title bar, then under "message delivery" there will be a drop down list, click on the checkmark and it will show your options.. you can choose:

individual emails

daily digest

special notices- web only but you will get special notices to your inbox.

no email - read on the site only.

Its as simple as that.

Make sure you click on 'save changes' at the bottom of the page and you can exit.

If you ever need any help, Im an email away. I can also help you set up your mail delivery settings.


In loving service,
Scott
YOUnMEnHP@...

  

 
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Step 3
www.recoverycartoons.com/html/steps2002/step03c.html

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*LAUGHTER Is HEALING*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The weekly meeting topic is:
Each month we will share on a step and
spiritual principles of the step.
Since it is February, PLEASE share on the 3rd step
Or if you haven¹t done the 3rd step share on
Willingness, Faith and Surrender....
to share please visit
www.health.groups.yahoo.com/group/twelvestepsoulfood4thespirit/
or email
twelvestepsoulfood4thespirit@yahoogroups.com

This is a DIFFERENT Yahoo Club you MUST join this club in order to
participate otherwise your emails will bounce

Yahoo! Clubs Twelve Step Soul Food 4 the Spirit
www.health.groups.yahoo.com/group/twelvestepsoulfood4thespirit/

A Safe Place to Share , Discover and Recover.
This is a SLAMMING, STRONG support group with
a whole lot of EXPERIENCE, LOVE and HOPE that is available to you.
This a message bulletin board meeting, where people post on the
weekly topic. It takes only 1 minute to enter a password and
username. Please go this page on the upper right hand corner and click
the join club link, sign in and go to the left hand side and click
messages to read what others have shared and click on the post link,
now you can share on the topic of the week or whatever you would like.
There is a lot of good experience, strength and hope in here as well
as newcomers who need our support and love, PLEASE stop by.
Thanks for your participation and support :)

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*Please Be There For The Newcomers*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

March 1
Today I will feel good about myself
and accept myself just the way I am.
I am open and ready to discover
all the miracles of this day.
written by ~ Ruth Fishel
"Time for Joy"
Check out Ruth's collection of
light, nourishing and nurturing Books and Tapes
& some touching and embracing Greeting Cards
www.spirithaven.com
for inspirational messages email
spirithaven@...

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*Just for Today*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I have some poetry that my mother wrote in her sobriety
and would like to share with you to share with others.
She died in 1999, her sobriety date was 8-7-75
(I sobered up 8-5-81, we got to share this program.
Her name is Fiji Bogle.

Fiji wrote a letter to my brother who killed himself in
November of 81, it may help those who think they can
keep coming back, this was truly a lesson in this is a
program who want it, not for people who need it as
I sobered up in August of 81.  Mary Y.

A Letter To My Son

Terry, I understood how you felt but I didn't get to share.
It was hard for you to listen because you thought I didn't care.
I have wanted to make this amend so many times before.
But each time I tried, you always cut me off, so I wasn't sure.
Then when you died from alcoholism, the killer disease, my chance
was gone to personally say, "Forgive me, please."
Forgive me son for not being the mother I should have been.
This is no excuse, but it was the best I could do back then.
It's very hard to say these things even though your not here.
I always seemed to pick on "you" out of anger and fear.
I wanted you to be perfect, because you reminded me of your dad.
Today I know that wasn't true, it was all the defects I had.
It was me I didn't like, so I abused and took it out on you.
You were so much like me, very defiant and crying for attention too.
I really didn't know this until I came to A.A. and started to grow.
I'd discuss you in meetings, they told me if you love him, let him go.
That was hard for me to do because I know what's best.
I did start listen, so I just loved you and let God do the rest.
That's why I kept saying I can't help you everytime you would call.
They said to let you hit bottom, so I let go to let you have your fall.
I certainly didn't have any idea it would happen this way.
It probably would have happened no matter what I had to say.
I have been told by many to not let your death to go in vain.
To share it with others, so some insight they may gain.
To show them how deadly drugs and booze can really be.
It has nothing to do with weakness or will power, it's a deadly disease.
So you see my son, you are doing some good and helping others today.
Though the day you expired you probably couldn't see it that way.
Terry, I do love you and I wanted you to have this way of life.
It didn't happen, and I'm still not the best, but I do try to strive.
I do have the program to help overcome what happened to you.
If I don't work these steps, the same thing will happen to me too.
That's the reason I write this even after your death, to you,
I owe an amend
and this is the only way for me to bring all my guilt to an end.
I know God forgives me and I forgive me too, it's the only way.
I love you and I know if you were living, that's what you would say.
I know you are at peace now and that you hurt no more.
I am at ease myself because your with God, of that I'm sure.

Love you,  Mom

If you would like to put it in your 12StepSoulFoodForTheSpirit
daily e-mails, I would be honored for her.

Mary Y.
mly@...
8-5-81

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*Don't Use*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

If anyone has any original recovery poetry that they
would like to share with us please copy and paste it into the body
of an email and send it to me, Thanks for your support and contributions.
What I can't do alone, We do together.
In loving service, Scott ~  YOUnMEnHP@...

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*No Matter What*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The Gift of Acceptance
www.higherawareness.com/acceptance.shtml

Letter to Anyone New In A.A.
www.alcoholics-anonymous.org/en_is_aa_for_you.cfm?PageID=45

Who, What, How and Why?
www.na.org/ips/eng/IP1.htm

What is Al-Anon?
www.al-anon.org/about.html

About Nar-Anon
www.nar-anon.org/aboutnaranon.htm

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*Make A Meeting*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Just For Today
March 1                                Anxiety attack?

"The Power that brought us to this program is still with us and will
continue to guide us if we allow it."     Basic Text, p. 26

  Ever had a panic attack? Everywhere we turn, life's demands
overwhelm us. We're paralyzed, and we don't know what to do about it.
How do we break an anxiety attack?

  First, we stop. We can't deal with everything at once, so we stop for a
moment to let things settle. Then we take a "spot inventory" of the
things that are bothering us. We examine each item, asking ourselves
this question: "How important is it, really?" In most cases, we'll find
that most of our fears and concerns don't need our immediate attention.
We can put those aside, and focus on the issues that really need to be
resolved right away. Then we stop again and ask ourselves, "Who's in
control here, anyway?" This helps remind us that our Higher Power is in
control. We seek our Higher Power's will for the situation, whatever it
is. We can do this in any number of ways: through prayer, talks with our
sponsor or NA friends, or by attending a meeting and asking others to
share their experience. When our Higher Power's will becomes clear to
us, we pray for the ability to carry it out. Finally, we take action.

  Anxiety attacks need not paralyze us. We can utilize the resources of
the NA program to deal with anything that comes our way.

Just for today: My Higher Power has not brought me all this way in
recovery only to abandon me! When anxiety strikes, I will take specific
steps to seek God's continuing care and guidance.

Just For Today Daily Meditation is the property of Narcotics Anonymous ©
1991 by World Service Office Inc.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*Get Involved In Service*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

If you are enjoying this daily recovery email,
Please pass on 12 Step Soul Food For The Spirit to your online friends,
"We can only keep what we have by giving it away."
If you have received this as a forward
and  would like to subscribe please email
me at YOUnMEnHP@...
Thanks, In loving service, Scott :)

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*Get A Sponsor*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Meditation of the Day
www.hazelden.org/servlet/hazelden/thoughts

Daily Meditation for ALL 12 Steppers
www.open-mind.org/Daily/

Dr. Twerski's Sober Thought of the Day
www.gatewayrehab.org/March.html

NEED HELP Pick a topic Daily Meditation
www.hazelden.org/servlet/hazelden/thoughts/search.html

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*Use Your Sponsor*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I'M NOT DIFFERENT

In the beginning, it was four whole years before A.A.  brought permanent
sobriety to even one alcoholic woman.  Like the "high bottoms, " the women
said they were different;  .  .  .  The Skid-Rower said he was different
.  .  .  so did the artists and the professional people, the rich, the
poor, the religious, the agnostic, the Indians and the Eskimos, the
veterans, and the prisoners.  .  .  .  nowadays all of these, and legions
more, soberly talk about how very much alike all of us alcoholics are when
we admit that the chips are finally down.
AS BILL SEES IT, p.  24

I cannot consider myself "different" in A.A.; if I do I isolate myself from
others and from contact with my Higher Power.  If I feel isolated in A.A.,
it is not something for which others are responsible.  It is something I've
created by feeling I'm "different" in some way.  Today I practice being
just another alcoholic in the worldwide Fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous.

Copyright 1990 ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS WORLD SERVICES, INC.
Daily Reflection In Loving Memory Of Scott Reeves

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*Be A Sponsor*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Twenty-Four Hours A Day by Hazelden/ March 1st

A.A. Thought for the Day

When I find myself thinking about taking a drink,
I say to myself.  "Don't reach out and take that
problem back.  You've given it to God and there's
nothing you can do about it."  So I forget about
the drink.  One of the most important parts of
the A.A. program is to give our drink problem to
God honestly and fully and never to reach out and
take the problem back to ourselves.  If we let God
have it and keep it for good and then cooperate
with Him, we'll stay sober.  Have I determined not
to take the drink problem back to myself?

Meditation for the Day

Constant effort is necessary if I am to grow
spiritually and develop my spiritual life.  I must
keep the spiritual rules persistently, perseveringly,
lovingly, patiently, and hopefully.  By keeping them,
every mountain of difficulty shall be laid low, the
rough places of poverty of spirit shall be made
smooth, and all who know me shall know that God
is the Lord of all my ways.  To get close to the spirit
of God is to find life and healing and strength.

Prayer for the Day

I pray that God's spirit may be everything to my soul.
I pray that God's spirit may grow within me.

"Twenty-Four Hours A Day" is a © Copyrighted book of
Hazelden Foundation.  No portion of this publication may
be reproduced in any manner without the written
permission of Hazelden.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*Work The Steps*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Today's Thought
MARCH 01

You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Melody Beattie ©

Letting Go of Anger

In recovery, we often discuss anger objectively. Yes, we reason, its an
emotion were all prone to experience. Yes, the goal in recovery is to be
free of resentment and anger. Yes, its okay to feel angry, we agree. Well,
maybe. . ..

Anger is a powerful and sometimes frightening emotion. Its also a beneficial
one if its not allowed to harden into resentment or used as a battering ram
to punish or abuse people.

Anger is a warning signal. It points to problems. Sometimes, it signals
problems we need to solve. Sometimes, it points to boundaries we need to
set. Sometimes, its the final burst of energy before letting go, or
acceptance, settles in.

And, sometimes, anger just is. It doesnt have to be justified. It usually
cant be confined to a tidy package. And it need not cause us to stifle our
energy or ourselves.

We dont have to feel guilty whenever we expense anger. We dont have to feel
guilty.

Breathe deeply. We can shamelessly feel all our feelings, including anger,
and still take responsibility for our behaviors.

I will feel and release any angry feelings I have today. I can do that
appropriately and safely

©1990, Hazelden Foundation. All rights reserved. No portion of this
publication may be reproduced in any manner without the written permission
of the publisher.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*You Are A Miracle*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Why Peacocks Honk, Alan Cohen
www.lightworks.com/MonthlyAspectarian/2006/February/Cohen.html

Uh-Oh, Robert Fulghum's
www.spiritsite.com/writing/robful/part4.shtml
www.spiritsite.com/writing/robful/part5.shtml
www.spiritsite.com/writing/robful/part6.shtml

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*Keep It Simple*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

HOW TO CHANGE
by Louise L. Hay

"I cross bridges with joy and with ease."

I love "how to's." All the theory in the world is useless unless we know how
to apply it and make a change. I have always been a very pragmatic,
practical person with a great need to know how to do things.

The principles we will be working with at this time are:

  a.. Nurturing the willingness to let go

  b.. Controlling the mind, and

  c.. Learning how forgiveness of self and others releases us.

Releasing the Need
Sometimes when we try to release a pattern, the whole situation seems to get
worse for a while. This is not a bad thing. It is a sign that the situation
is beginning to move. Our affirmations are working, and we need to keep
going.

Examples:

  a.. We are working on increasing prosperity, and we lose our wallet.

  b.. We are working on improving our relationships, and we have a fight.

  c.. We are working on becoming healthy, and we catch a cold.

  d.. We are working on expressing our creative talents and abilities, and
we get fired.

Sometimes the problem moves in a different direction, and we begin to see
and understand more. For example, let's assume you are trying to give up
smoking and you are saying,  "I am willing to release the need for
cigarettes."

As you continue to do this, you notice your relationships becoming more
uncomfortable. Don't despair, this is a sign of the process working.

You might ask yourself a series of questions like: Am I willing to give up
uncomfortable relationships? Were my cigarettes creating a smoke screen so I
wouldn't see how uncomfortable these relationships are? Why am I creating
these relationships?

You notice the cigarettes are only a symptom and not a cause. Now you are
developing insight and understanding that will set you free.

You begin to say, "I am willing to release the need for uncomfortable
relationships."

Then you notice the reason you're so uncomfortable is that other people
always seem to be criticizing you.

Being aware that we always create all of our experiences, you now begin to
say, "I am willing to release the need to be criticized."

You then think about criticism, and you realize that as a child you received
a lot of criticism. That little kid inside of you only feels at home when it
is being criticized. Your way of hiding from this had been to create a
"smoke screen".

Perhaps you see the next step as affirming, "I am willing to forgive..."

As you continue to do your affirmations, you may find that cigarettes no
longer attract you, and the people in your life no longer criticize you.
Then you know you have released your need.

This usually takes a little while to work out. If you are gently persistent
and are willing to give yourself a few quiet moments each day to reflect on
your process of change, you will get the answers. The Intelligence within
you is the same Intelligence that created this entire planet. Trust your
Inner Guidance to reveal to you whatever it is you need to know.

Exercise: Releasing the Need
  In a workshop situation, I would have you do this exercise with a partner.
However, you can do it equally as well using a mirror, a big one, if
possible.

  Think for a moment about something in your life you want to change. Go to
the mirror and look into your eyes and say out loud, "I now realize that I
have created this condition, and I am now willing to release the pattern in
my consciousness that is responsible for this condition." Say it several
times, with feeling.

  If you were with a partner, I would have your partner tell you if he
really thought you meant it. I would want you to convince your partner. Ask
yourself if you really mean it. Convince yourself in the mirror that this
time you are ready to step out of the bondage of the past.

  At this point many people get scared because they don't know HOW to do
this releasing. They are afraid to commit themselves until they know all the
answers. It's only more resistance. Just pass through it. One of the great
things is that we do not have to know how. All we need is to be willing. The
Universal Intelligence or your subconscious mind will figure out the hows.
Every thought you think and every word you speak is being responded to, and
the point of power is in this moment. The thoughts you are thinking and the
words you are declaring at this moment are creating your future.

Your Mind Is a Tool
You are much more than your mind. You may think that your mind is running
the show, but that is only because you have trained your mind to think in
this way. You can also untrain and retrain this tool of yours.

Your mind is a tool for you to use in any way you wish. The way you now use
your mind is only a habit, and habits, any habits, can be changed if we want
to do so, or even if we only know it is possible to do so.

Quiet the chatter of your mind for a moment, and really think about this
concept:
YOUR MIND IS A TOOL YOU CAN CHOOSE TO USE ANY WAY YOU WISH.

The thoughts you "choose" to think create the experiences you have. If you
believe that it is hard or difficult to change a habit or a thought, then
your choice of this thought will make it true for you. If you would choose
to think, "It is becoming easier for me to make changes", then your choice
of this thought will make that true for you.

Controlling the Mind
There is an incredible power and intelligence within you that is constantly
responding to your thoughts and words. As you learn to control your mind by
the conscious choice of thoughts, you align yourself with this power.

Do not think that your mind is in control. You are in control of your mind.
You use your mind. You can stop thinking those old thoughts.

When your old thinking tries to come back and say, "It's so hard to change,"
take mental control. Say to your mind, "I now choose to believe it is
becoming easier for me to make changes." You may have to have this
conversation with your mind several times for it to acknowledge that you are
in control and that what you say goes.

The Only Thing You Ever Have Any Control of Is Your Current Thought
Your old thoughts are gone; there is nothing you can do about them except
live out the experiences they caused. Your current thought, the one you are
thinking right now, is totally under your control.

Example:
If you have a little child who has been allowed to stay up as late as she
wishes for a long time, and then you make a decision that you now want this
child to go to bed at 8:00 every night, what do you think the first night
will be like?

The child will rebel against this new rule and may kick and scream and do
her best to stay out of bed. If you relent at this time, the child wins and
will try to control you forever.

However, if you calmly stick to your decision and firmly insist that this is
the new bedtime, the rebellion will lessen. In two or three nights, the new
routine will be established.

It is the same thing with your mind. Of course it will rebel at first. It
does not want to be retrained. But you are in control, and if you stay
focused and firm, in a very short time the new way of thinking will be
established. And you will feel so good to realize that you are not a
helpless victim of your own thoughts, but rather a master of your own mind.

Exercise: Letting Go
  As you read this, take a deep breath, and as you exhale, allow all the
tension to leave your body. Let your scalp and your forehead and your face
relax. Your head does not need to be tense in order for you to read. Let
your tongue and your throat and your shoulders relax. You can hold a book
with relaxed arms and hands. Do that now. Let your back and your abdomen and
your pelvis relax. Let your breathing be at peace as you relax your legs and
feet.

  Is there a big change in your body since you began the previous paragraph?
Notice how much you hold on. If you are doing it with your body, then you
are doing it with your mind.

  In this relaxed, comfortable position, say to yourself, "I am willing to
let go. I release. I let go. I release all tension. I release all fear. I
release all anger. I release all guilt. I release all sadness. I let go of
all old limitations. I let go, and I am at peace. I am at peace with myself.
I am at peace with the process of life. I am safe."

Go over this exercise two or three times. Feel the ease of letting go.
Repeat it whenever you feel thoughts of difficulty coming up. It takes a
little practice for the routine to become a part of you.

When you put yourself into this peaceful state first, it becomes easy for
your affirmations to take hold. You become open and receptive to them. There
is no need to struggle or stress or strain. Just relax and think the
appropriate thoughts. Yes, it is this easy.

Physical Releasing
Sometimes we need to experience a physical letting go. Experiences and
emotions can get locked in the body. Screaming in the car with all the
windows rolled up can be very releasing if we have been stifling our verbal
expression. Beating the bed or kicking pillows is a harmless way to release
pent-up anger, as is playing tennis or running.

Awhile ago, I had a pain in my shoulder for a day or two. I tried to ignore
it, but it wouldn't go away. Finally, I sat down and asked myself, "What is
happening here? What am I feeling?"

I realized, "It feels like burning. Burning... burning... that means anger.
What are you angry about?"

I couldn't think of what I was angry about, so I said, "Well, let's see if
we can find out." I put two large pillows on the bed and began to hit them
with a lot of energy.

After about twelve hits, I realized exactly what I was angry about. It was
so clear. So I beat the pillows even harder and made some noise and released
the emotions from my body. When I got through, I felt much better, and the
next day my shoulder was fine.

About The Author:
Excerpted with permission from You Can Heal Your Life, ©1999 by Louise L.
Hay, metaphysical teacher and bestselling author of over 20 books including
"Heal Your Body" and "Empowering Women". Her works have been translated into
25 different languages in 33 countries. Published by Hay House, P.O. Box
5100, Carlsbad, CA 92018. 800-654-5126. Visit their website at
www.hayhouse.com

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*One Day At A Time*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Defining Grace

   "How do you define God's Grace?  Can you even describe
it adequately so that I can understand your understanding of
it?  It is not a very easy thing to do.  And you have to wonder
why that is.  When I think of God's Grace, what comes to
my mind is the scripture quote that starts off like this...
'God so loved the world that He gave...."  God so loved the
world that He gave...  that He gave... that He gave me my life.
That He gave me the breath that fills my lungs.  That He gave
me my rising up this morning.  That He gave me all the events
of this day.  That He gave me the love and support of friends
and family.  That He gave me everything I am and everything
I have and everyone in my life.  That He gave and gave and
gave unendingly to me and still does.  And why?  Because He
expects me to return the favor?  Because He wants me in His
debt?  Because it's His ace in the hole?  No, He gave just
because ~ just because He loves me, and for no other reason.
God's Grace looks like this to me ~ the unending givingness
of my Lord who loves me just because I am.

  You know, I am reminded of the movie, The Best There Is.
In the most memorable scene for me, Jack Nicholson tells
Helen Hunt, "You make me want to be a better man."  I can
never forget that line.  The romantic in me, of course, just
hooks into the beauty of a man saying that a woman, just by
virtue of who she is, makes him want to be a better man.  And
I like to use it as a metaphor for God's Grace here.  God, just
by virtue of His presence in my life, makes me want to be a
better person.  That is what effect God's Grace has on me.
And so it is!"

(Copyright 2001)
Virginia Santoro
MorningMusings@...

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*First Things First*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Speak the Language of Letting Go

Sometimes in our lives, we can let go in an instant.
We recognize that we're dwelling on or obsessing
about a particular situation, and we just let go.
We drop it.
Or we run into someone who has a problem,
and we instinctively adapt a hands-off-posture,
knowing that it's not our responsibility
to take care of other people.
We say what we need to say,
and we almost automatically let go
and focus on taking care of ourselves.

Other times, it's not as easy.
We may be entangled in a situation
that feels utterly impossible to let go of.
We get enmeshed with a problem,
or a person, that seems to compel us to hang on
more tightly when letting go is the key.

We know we shouldn't be obsessing,
but we can't seem to stop.

One day, many years ago, back in Stillwater, Minnesota,
my son was hugging me tightly.
He didn't want to let go.
I started tipping over.  I lost my balance.
"Shane," Nichole scolded,
"there comes a time to let go."
Sometimes letting go happens in stages.
Sometimes it means becoming more aware.
Sometimes it involves going deeply into the feelings
hidden underneath our behavior.
Learning to let go may involve gaining
more confidence and self-esteem.
Sometimes it means simply practicing gratitude
for the way things are.

Be gentle with yourself and others as you
learn to practice the language of letting go.
Sometimes, no matter how much we know,
letting go takes time.

God, help me remember that letting go is a powerful behavior,
one that can change my life and impact the lives of others.
Help me be patient with others and myself
as letting go becomes a way of life.

Melody Beattie ©

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*Easy Does It*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Welcome To The Fellowship

Welcome to the fellowship
Here take this chair
When you walked through our doors
We'll show you that we care
We will love you
Until you can love yourself
Put the plug in the jug
Keep the drugs on the shelf
All you need is a desire to stop
That's all it takes
To join our way
We'll share our program
Show you how to live in today
You will never again be lonely
Unless you choose
As long as you don't pick up
You'll never lose
We will teach you
How to work the steps
One by one
We will teach you
That in sobriety
You can have fun
Surrender to win
Is a good place to begin
First you have to clean up the past
In here no one is first
And no one is last
We have a way that is simple
But not easy you see
Rest assured we'll teach you
How to live free
In here we know
How you feel inside
Because we have been
Where your at
But no longer hide
Welcome to the fellowship
Of pure love
This program was given to us
By God above
Have some coffee
Sit right down
We are so happy
That you have come around
We'll show you how we
Make our way
Then you can be blessed
Yourself
As you give it away
Welcome to the fellowship

Daniel M Corkery
1/6/2001
DMCDREAMER1@...
DMCDREAMER's Page of Poetry
<http://www.geocities.com/dmcdreamer/>

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*Live And Let Live*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I treat myself with unconditional love.
I feel my heart opening, and
I know that there is room in there for me.
Louise L. Hay

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*Keep The Focus On You*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

If you ever expect to be loved, you must reveal who you are.
Leo Buscaglia

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*Let God and Let Go*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

It's like God is saying, 'I place before you a day.
Create with it what you will out of your mind.
It is my gift to you.'
Alan Cohen

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*Come*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Directions to NA:
Just go straight to hell and make a U-turn

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*Come To*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

NA is the only place where you can
walk into a  room full of strangers and reminisce.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*Come To Believe*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I just want to be one of the few,
who reach out to the many who need it.
Mark Kostew

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*Look For The Beauty*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I put my hand in yours and
what I can't do alone,
we can do together.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*Today Is A Gift*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

We may not have it all together,
but together we can have it all.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*Keep Stepping*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

In these meetings,
there are no strangers,
only friends we haven't met.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*Stay In The Light*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

If you don't stand for something,
you will fall for anything.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*Put Gratitude In Your Attitude*~*~*~*~*~*~*

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~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*One Promise, Many Gifts*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Adult Children of Alcoholics
www.AdultChildren.org/

Al-Anon/Alateen
www.al-anon.org/

Alcoholics Anonymous
www.alcoholics-anonymous.org/

Alcoholics Anonymous Deaf and Hard of Hearing
www.dhh12s.com/access.htm

Artists Recovering through the Twelve Steps
www.artsanonymous.org/

Clutterer¹s Anonymous
www.clutterersanonymous.net

Cocaine Anonymous World Services
www.ca.org/

Co-Dependents Anonymous Home Page
www.codependents.org/

Crystal Meth Anonymous
www.crystalmeth.org/

Criminal and Gangs Anonymous
www.angelfire.com/id/CGAnonymous/

Debtors Anonymous: A Twelve Step Fellowship forŠ
www.debtorsanonymous.org/

Dual Recovery Anonymous - a 12 Step program
www.draonline.org/

Eating Disorders Anonymous
www.eatingdisordersanonymous.org/

Emotions Anonymous
www.emotionsanonymous.org/

Families Anonymous
www.familiesanonymous.org/

Gamblers Anonymous Official Home Page
www.gamblersanonymous.org/

Hepatitis C Anonymous
www.hcvanonymous.com/

HIV Anonymous
www.hivanonymous.com/

The Marijuana Anonymous
www.marijuana-anonymous.org/

Methadone Anonymous
www.afirmfwc.org/methanon.htm

Narcotics Anonymous Official  Homepage
www.na.org/

Earth Group N.A. online meetings
www.earthgroupna.org/

Nar-Anon is a family support group
www.naranon.com/

Nicotine Anonymous (WWW Home Page) NA Home Page
www.nicotine-anonymous.org

Overeaters Anonymous
www.oa.org/

Parents Anonymous
www.parentsanonymous.org/paIndex1.htm

Rape Survivors Anonymous
www.rsaws.org/

Recovering Couples Anonymous
www.recovering-couples.org

Sex Addicts Anonymous
www.saa-recovery.org/

Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous
www.slaafws.org/

Shoplifters Anonymous
www.shopliftersanonymous.org/

Suicide Anonymous
www.geocities.com/samemphis/

Survivors Of Incest Anonymous
www.siawso.org/

Workaholics Anonymous
www.workaholics-anonymous.org/
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*@¿@*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

By the grace of God and through your efforts of passing on this
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Stay in the Light,
In loving service,
Scott H. from N.Y. ~ clean date 10/27/88
YOUnMEnHP@...

     (\o/\o/)   we are each of us angels  with only one wing  (\o/\o/)
      /_\/_\    and can only fly     by embracing each other   /_\/_\

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Push Up Prescilla,

I was talking to two people last night who had relapsed, and though they had two seperate situations, there was one common theme. Not haveing healthy people around them. One had been isolating from others, and one had been hanging around his old friends. I told both of them that if they would follow the suggestions of the program and go to meetings, get a sponsor, call a support team member, and get around "winners", it will be much easier to work the program.

You said an interesting word, "permission" in your share. That is exacty what Isolation and old friends give us in a negative way. They give us permission to fail. Like you said, those old timers gave you permission to work the steps and heal.

isn't it interesting though how that word "permission" works. I have a funny thing that I did in early recovery, the first year I was sober, I had a roach in my ashtray in the car. I knew it was there, I thought about getting rid of it, but I would always convieniently forget about it. Finnaly one day, I did, and thank god I never found the right situation that would give me "permission" to use. It is funny how our addict minds will set us up like that, set reservations that are just waiting for the right moment.

Any Ways, Thanks for letting me share,

Bryan W. / Jedi Cowboy

--- In twelvestepsoulfood4thespirit@yahoogroups.com, P Patterson <mspjpatterson@...> wrote:
>
> "I am having a problem connecting with people in the rooms,
> do I need to make the same meetings every week?
> I am not connecting and feel like an outsider, I don't understand why?"
>
> * * *
>
> Dearest Family,
>
> Prescilla - alcoholic (DOS 9/25/04) just chiming in. LOL
>
> I don't know if anyone noticed but "getting involved" and "connecting" is really not a problem for me. However, it took these rooms for me to feel comfortable enough to reach out for the help that I needed and still need from people in these rooms. That meant I had to come out of myself long enough to connect to the people that understood my plight.
>
> I would sit and listen but my stubborn ass didn't want to learn any thing. I was so deep into denial that I couldn't see the forest for the trees. Much to my dismay I learned that people in these rooms are sick (some sicker than me =) and hopefully looking for a way to get well. I was told by an old timer "stick with the winners kid and you will get this program". That's what I get for attending the old timers meeting everyday. To them, I was the kid. =)
>
> That was great advice but I didn't have the slightest clue "how" to do what he said. I couldn't love myself let alone talk to people and relate. I'd lost everything in my life that I was barely hanging onto. I was a pile of fear and tears. Mostly tears because not only had I lost my best friend and lover alcohol, but the man I considered the love of my life -- my soulmate.
>
> Another old timer saw my tears and he came up and gave me a hug. He looked at my tear soaked face and told me, "Don't worry. We will love you until you can love yourself." Oh what an ephiphany! I didn't have to work at loving me, I just needed to get better. For some reason, that gave me permission to work with a sponsor going through the steps. It gave me permission to work at the deep black hole that was in my soul for seemingly all my life. It gave me permission to find this higher power or God that everyone was talking about. I knew that someone would love me while I was doing this, therefore I could forget about "me" long enough to work on me from the inside. I didn't love me anyway...so in my mind, I was free to accomplish this. <<laugh>> Whatever it takes, right?
>
> With all the permission to work on my inside, gee, guess what? Everyone looked, sounded, and acted different on the outside. Like Bill W. says in his story, it was like the scales were peeled off his eyes. I was blessed to have people come up to me! People actually wanted to know how I was doing. With this change, I was given more permission to share, to open up to people, to talk with people freely once again. I don't know if you noticed, talking is not an issue for me. =)
>
> For my job, I have to network for survival in the business world. I always prided myself on being able to keep a selection of "key" people in my life that could help in the long run. Thanks to these rooms, I don't have to do that. I have a power greater than me, sending the "winners" directly to my path in my sobriety, my personal, and my professional life. Many of those winners, I already have in my life. My mother, brother, daughter, friends that I've known for a while; all have seen different aspects of my disease. Some of them were there through the worst times of my life and just listened. When the rubber needed to meet the road, it was my mother that dug in deep and just guided me out. She didn't enable or try to save me, she just loved me and kept me encouraged -- and she's never been through AA or recovery but she is an alcoholic sober 25+ years. All of these people have expressed their greatest admiration for my efforts with AA. Thanks to these rooms, I was able
> to accept their love and admiration for me. I was finally starting to love me.
>
> My fears are limited now to my own selfish and self centered thoughts, doubts, and the head commitee trying to keep me in a state of confusion. Staying focused on some days, especially today, is not easy but I will do the best I can to surrender the things I can't control and reach out to the sources where my help and strength come from; God and these rooms.
>
> Thank you for letting me share.
>
> With love in recovery,
>
> Prescilla
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> - Great Spirit, You are my peace and you dwell within me. Let me look for You within myself.
>