Admitted powerlessness over addiction, life is unmanageable.

The first step evidence was absolutely obvious and I had to understand that
the first principle I had to embrace was honesty, simply admitting I had a
problem. As I worked this step and embraced it I then came to understand
that surrender is the operative action required to get through this step for
me. Two surrenders became apparent. First, I had to surrender to the fact
that left to my own will, recovery would be impossible. Once I was able to
embrace that surrender the next surrender was to the program. My first
sponsor saw surrender in me at about 3 months into the process but I
honestly didn't recognize it. I did a first step three times before moving
on to a second step. The first time I had wrote the first step I paused
(didn't finish promptly) and found that I had to revisit it from the
beginning. The third time I had to write a first step was as a result of a
relapse 6 months into the recovery process. I had been able to get to 6
months many times in the past and this became my thresh hold. I made a point
to myself that I was not going to pick up a key chain until I reached the 9
month key chain and it was very humbling to sit through 9 months of waiting
until I got to the elusive 9 months. Once I got there, there was no turning
back. TFLMS. Stan.




[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]