Thanks dear (((Kelly))), nice of you to post. I can see how the Steps,
the Program of Recovery has worked well for you. Taking someone with 5
years through the Steps for the first time must be a wonderful test of
one's tolerance and patience.

When any of the guys I sponsor do all their kooky stuff, I tell my
friends "Can you blame them? They haven't taken the Steps and
recovered...yet." Another friend commmented about the usual Regional
Convention behavior on display over the weekend and I replied "Hey,
they're sick people!". They're just like the guy I was when I first
got here.

Of course, being the
oldest-brother-super-hero-from-alcohol-sick-family-guy I was, I did
things more on the subtle, sideways-out-the-neck fashion so I wouldn't
appear to be such an unrecovered maniac. Hehe...then I could stand
there and be all judgmental. I've starred in that movie many times.

You hit a good point there about "not being the victim". I learned
even before I hit Alanon/CoDA/ACA that my victim M.O. did as much
harm, if not more, than the perps in my life. I'm reminded of a prayer
that goes something like:

"Lord, I'll take care of my enemies just fine today. Please protect me
from the victim."

Connie talked about this and I hear it from you, too...stuck. I've got
glue on my feet, too. I have this beautiful new lady in my life, she's
absolutely crazy about me, admires the work I do reaching out to the
sick and suffering, could sit there and listen to me play guitar and
sing all night, the list goes on....and I'm just terrified as hell.
With all my second-guessing myself, wondering what I'm going to do
that would end up hurting this gorgeous woman, if I can trust myself,
ad nauseum...my Conscious Contact has been at a new low lately.

I can't blame the relationship, I can't blame her, I can't blame
God...it all seems so new and startling because I can see how selfish
and self-centered I was in the past. I gotta pay real close attention
because she is the most generous and forgiving woman I've met in a
long time. I can see all those things I used to come up short on.

Plus, she digs women too, if you know what I mean ;-) I could be
dumped in a heartbeat since there's a LOT of single women in our town
here by the Beach! :-0 I have to be on my most stellar behavior.

So what's the point of this lengthy post, dear Kelly (and all of you
in the Group)? There's that question in the Big Book that reminds the
AA's "Do I need to discuss something with another person immediately?"
Yes, I did. Time to get over that self-centered fear. Now it's time to
seek Knowledge of God's Will and the Power to carry that out with even
greater effort. You reminded me to keep praying even greater than
before, because I know it works. I bet you do, too.

So yeah; I wanna come up, dine on lobster and clam, and sit out there
on the Cape with you. Been awhile since I seen a real, live Portugee
(no offense, I hope) and I owe my Boston Aunties a visit, too. I'm
workin' on it!

Thanks for reaching back Kelly, you are a dear friend. Enjoy your 4th
of July. You're in the best place to celebrate it, for sure.

Love,
Lei

--- In twelvestepsoulfood4thespirit@yahoogroups.com, "Kelly"
<viequessoon@...> wrote:
>
>
> Hello my friend!!!! Well my sponsor and I just discussed something very
> similar with what has been the discussion in here regarding hello.
> Before I began the steps I was caught up in the "story". My
> story....this happened, they did this to me, my family this, my family
> that, he this and she that, and they. Always, she, he and they. I was
> suffering. Suffering so much that I wanted to die. Then my HP sends me
> this woman who is to guide me in my recovery...thus the work began and
> continues....through doing the work (the steps), believe it or not, the
> story has ended!!!!! I am able to have compassion for my active, sick
> family members. It was she, my sponsor that pointed this out to me. I
> didn't realize that I had come to this place. Never thought I would
> either....but wahla...I am here and grateful!!! So very grateful.
>
> I now have a sponsee and boy let me tell you....I prayed for a sponsee
> to appear so that I can be of service and again...my HP answered my
> request. I was sent a woman who has 5 years sobriety, but has never done
> the work and who basically believes in everything that I do not!!!!
> OMG....she is still caught up in her story because she has not done any
> real work with taking a look at character defects, her role in things,
> her pride, ego, etc. She is the victim right now....Today, I can't allow
> myself to be the victim. My sponsor also pointed out to me as I was
> explaining that I didn't think I could be of service to this
> women....she says, "what is the lesson here??? God put her in your life
> for a reason...think of the lesson." Right away, I knew...lessons in
> judgements, acceptance, and tolerance. It clicked.
>
> So I hear what your saying and never really thought of it as you put it
> because I think of this, 12 step soul food as my safe place to vent when
> needed. I never thought of it as gossiping and slandering family
> members. All of you I hold as very close support members, so there have
> been times where I need to verbally vomit!!!!! So...that's what I got.
> Just throwing in my thoughts...
>
> Miss hearing from you, although I've been silently hanging out in the
> back of the hall lately. Being invisable I guess....kinda stuck. In a
> funk, Blocked. Haven't been able to write much. Meditation is
> strained...prayer seems off. It will pass tho. God I hope!!!!
>
> Hey Lei...love ya Man. When you coming to Mass??? Would love to hook up
> with you in my neighborhood. What better time to visit??? Come to Cape
> Cod and visit me!!!!
>
> love, peace and light to you!!! Kelly
>
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>