I think they will always be there in some way shape or form! I know I have them
every day! When things go shitty or someone has a rediculous criticism of
me....I want to run and stuff my face and then go barf!

I have gone back to college in hopes of finding a way to help myself as well as
others like me. Idk tho...my life has been major carzy lately! In the last 2
years I have gotten divorced, bought a house, returned to college, and found a
man that I am 99.9% sure I want to spend my life with. In the process I have
gained twenty pounds. :( THAT has me so upset.

My mother is constantly bitching at me about "rushing" into any relationship
(she thinks I should be single forever), my ex-husband tells the kids things
like "your mother has money hidden" or that "your mom has really gotten fat",
one of my sisters insists that I will never have a job in my chosen fields of
study (i am pursuing BS's in psychology and biology, and the prices of
everything from food to gas to toilet paper have soared to hillatious amounts!
At times it feels like the only thing I CAN control is the amount of food I
actually digest!

I have my purging down to about two to three times per week instead of every
day. I have not used Ex-Lax in a week....I have not been hitting it nearly as
hard as I have in the past. I have been really slacking on the working out
and/or walking though.

Let's face it! We are living in depressing times! And it is hard to be
optimistic about any thing much less that we are going to get past this
disgusting problem! I pray everyday for strength.


-----Original Message-----
From: sistah328 <sistah328@...>
Sent: Sunday, May 25, 2008 12:06am
To: theurgetopurge@yahoogroups.com
Subject: [The Urge to Purge] A question

I just have a question that I have been trying to figure out on my own
but I havent gotten an answers and it is just leaving me frustrated
and confused and just numb about the whole thing. I know I dont come
on here very often so I know I really dont have a right to get any
response from any of you but i hope that someone will.

My question is that what do you do when on the inside you still have
times where you want to go and binge and purge because either someone
said something or you felt a certain way or you just wanted to escape
but it has been a year since you have done it but you still have those
urges? Will they ever go away or is it something that will be a
struggle for me forever?