hey all,

I've only recently began trying to communicate with people 'like
me'.
I've always joined Leftclip3 group...
Apart from Internet services, I've joined the only Irish society for
cleft, lip and palate...i.e. CLAPAI..
However, this association is primarily directed towards parents
of children born with the birth defect (if that's the P.C. term!) as
opposed to those who actually have it.
A young man with a cleft has recently joined the committe though
- and has asked me to become more involved.
I intend to do so...however sometimes I like to forget about the
fact that I'm 'different' and want to live my life like everyone else.
Cleft, lip and palate is certainly not as serious as other birth
defects in that it doesn't generally affect mobility or cognitive
abilities etc. but it 's certainly challenging to function as a
contributive member of a society which places huge importance
on looks and perfection etc.!

I'm a young 21 year old woman..in the prime of my life...so the
way I look now is as good as it's going to get I suppose, until the
wrinkles start to appear along with everything else!
In general, I'm upbeat about my situation...but it's not always
easy.
I've had many operations and am more or less satisfied with
what has been done to date...I'm, reluctant enough to have
anymore operations as I know it'll never be perfect and I'd rather
avoid hospitals from now on due to the fact that I spent a good
deal of time in them as a child.
One of the positive things about these hospital stays (apart from
the excellent care by my doctors) was meeting others 'like me'.
However, I've found that as an yound adult, it's not as easy.
Sometimes I see those who have a cleft but never know how
they'd react if I were to approach them...
If I wasn't having a particularly good day and someone with a
cleft approached me...my confidence would be dented slightly in
that I would be slightly miffed that they were able to spot that I
had a cleft etc.
This is one of the major problems with having a cleft for
me...being afraid of what people are thinking or what they might
say...
I'm in Edinburgh for the summer job hunting (on college hols!)
and it's at times like this that having a cleft certainly is an issue
for me...
I can see possible recruiters's eyes darting down to my lips as I
speak...and then back up to regain eye contact...(do they think I
don't notice!)
I know it's completely naturally for them to look at something that
is noticably different but I always see it as an immediate
challenge...and that I have to prove to them and to myself that I'm
ok with it and have confidence in myself etc.
That's the thing about having a cleft that bothers me the
most...that you have to prove your self-worth to people (or at least
that's what I feel)...

Anyway, that's enough ramble for the moment...quite helpful to
get it out of the system might I add
This week as been particularly shitty so sorry about the sombre
tone - I'm not always this moany honest!

Love to hear from some of you all,
Laura Fingleton
P.S. Spain flippin robbed Ireland of a place in the quarter-finals-
we were so close!!!