Hello Megan
Sorry to hear you are having these problems.
But i have good news.
1. i was just as scared as you to get medication for anxiety. BELIEVE ME they
are not suicidal. The only reason doctors say this is because kids may be on
the wrong medication and not properly watched. If you have a psychiotrist and
you see him regularly, nothing should go wrong!! :)
2. You are not crazy. Many people when they first experience panic attacks,
thats their first thought. Trust me, you are a normal person just going through
a rough stage in your life.
3. I would suggest getting a therapist more then a psychiotrist because
normally these problems are problems you have to face yourself, and medication
doesnt always work.
4. Im here to chat. ive bene through all of this and still struggling. Email
me if you would like to chat :)
5. Remember that if you have the will power to get over this.. you can. Just
have to push yourself :)
hope you are doing better
monica

Megan <ksfitzpatrick@...> wrote:
Hi.My name is Megan,Im 17 and a senior in high school.I started
having off and on panic attacks the summer before senior year
started.And for no truly apparent reason to me.Now,at the beginning
of my 2nd semester as a senior,I am full-fledged into the attacks,and
they are beyond just the physical things,Im now having completely
weird and uncomfortable thoughts.Like,Im going crazy,"this isnt
real"(and when I say this,I say it like,that thought just comes in my
head.I know everything is real,but the thought scares me,I think and
dwell on it until it just consumes my thoughts for the rest of the
day) Usually,after an "episode" I feel "not myself" I try to explain
this to my bf,and he is a sweetheart about it,but I dont think fully
comprehends it.I just dont feel right.I feel like Im losing out on
life,which I am really.All I can think about is how happy-go lucky
and free I was last year,and how all that has been pretty much shot
to hell.I miss being me and being able to wake up without my mind
racing the second my eyes open.And by the way,these weird thought
things have only been happening for about 2 months.And they normally
only start about a week/2wks before Im supposed to start my period.
(hormones?chemical imbalance?I dunno) But it scares me.To death.This
is my senior year,and I cant be normal and have fun like everyone
else does.I mean,I can,but it just doesnt feel like it,know what Im
saying?(hopefully;))But,I stumbled upon this support group,and I
decided to give it a try.I need help.Ive admited it.And my mom has
scheduled me an appointment for the 19th to see a psychiatrist.Im
really really scared that 1.they wont be able to help me. 2.they
might make me more scared by telling me like whats truly wrong with
me. or 3.they might put me on meds that will make me suicidal. And
believe me,Im terrified to die. Anyways.I used to be completely
normal,well normal as any of us get.No weird attacks,thoughts that
wouldnt go away,nothing.I'm in sports,all kinds of clubs,I even was
the prom queen of 2005 at our school.And now look at me.I think Im a
nutcase whos going to end up in a straightjacket somewhere with no
one to help.Im really scared guys.I cant do this.This isnt me.I'm
accepted to my 1st choice college,I know what I want to do in
life.But Im not going to be able to succeed like Ive always planned
with this going on in my head.Just thought of having a "mental
illness" just makes me feel lower than I ever have before.Please,if
any of you have any words of wisdom or advice,Id more than anything
appreciate it.Im so scared that one day im just going to wake up and
honestly not be myself anymore at all,and be crazy.The whole thoughts
thing is terrifying beyond belief.Thanks~~~

Missing life Meg~





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