Hey wuts up?  My name is also Sarah and I live in California.  I know that if I ever lost my Mom, it would be hard, but the thing taht would keep me going would be the thought that she's in heaven, and she wouldn't want me to take my life.  Remember that just because she's not there with you physically, she is with you in spirit.  And if your guys' relationship was as close as it sounds, she wants the best for you, and that doesnt intel taking you life.  HOpe that helps a little bit!  Email me any time for anything!

                                                                   -Sarah