Hi Ashley, I'm really glad you've joined. I'm in quite a similar
situation to you, just I've had it for about eight months. I decided
that the best thing for me to do was to stop, {this was when I was
in a positive mood} and that surely it couldn't be that difficult.
However, my feelings towards my ed change very often, one minute I'm
convinced I want to stop and then next I feel I'm being drawn back
into it. Today hasn't been a good day for me, I've beenfor three
days without purging and today I just couldn't do it anymore. I
think it's important for us not to lose faith, we CAN and WILL do
this. For me, I think I'm going to try and build it up, so now I'll
try and go for at least four days without purging and then five etc.
I know it's not as simple about that, but it's important to keep
trying. A quote I wrote in another post is relevant here; 'Success
consists of getting up just one more time than you fall'.

I've told two friends, but no one else. I can't tell my family
because I feel that they'll be disappointed in me somehow. They have
tried to help {my friends}, but there's not really much they can do,
it's me who has to make the big effort here. We have to kick this
thing in the balls, it's not doing us any favours, and I have to
constantly keep reminding myself that I am doing the right thing by
getting better, I'm doing the right thing by allowing myself that
chocolate bar even though I know I can't purge it. Please, tell us
how you're feeling, if you're happy with how your day has been, if
you're feeling low, if you need advice or encouragement.

Also, remember that you are being so strong and brave to fight this
disorder. The easiest thing is to let it take over your life and to
give into it, but that's not the way forward. The longer you let it
carry on for, the harder it'll be to pull yourself out of it. You
have to believe in yourself, and you are the important person in all
of this, all that matters is that you're all right. Don't waste any
more of your life on this disease. Don't feel like a failure if you
have a bad day, just try again the next. You are doing the right
thing, you will beat this horrible disease, you just have to believe
in yourself. Take care,
jo