The first thing you can do is accept that you have an eating
disorder, and have the will to recover. You will be able to reover,
but you have to want to, it' no use being half committed to
recovery. I would advise you to visit www.somethingfishy.org, yes, I
know, I refer to it lots, but it's a really positive website, and
the message boards are great and supportive.

You have taken the first step in admitting that you have a problem.
You will find it easier to tell someone, maybe a friend, a brother
or sister, a parent, a school nurse, a counsellor, a teacher, ora
family member. If you don't want to tell anyone that you know well
yet, you can always tell me and the other members and we'll support
you. You don't have to go through this alone. What you are doing is
very brave, and it takes lots of strength. You are making the right
choice, you deserve to be happy, you have every right to enjoy life.

Being free from your eating disorder feels liberarintg. It is an
amazing feeling to eat something and not immediately look for the
nearest bathroom and to not worry about how many calories you just
consumed.

Whilst you are recovering, it is normal to have relapses. You
mustn't feel like you've failed, it's perfectly normal. For me,
purging after I ate was almost atomatic, it's very difficult to
break out of routine. You might want to keep a diary of how you
feel, or maybe in your diary that has dates in it and everything you
can mark how each day does by using different faces. You can use a
happy face if it went well, but if it didn't go well, think about
what went wrong and don't let it repeat itself. Remember,

"Courage does not always roar. Sometimes, it is the quiet voice at
the end of the day saying 'I will try again tomorrow'."

Make a list of things that you can do instead of purging. You could
write a letter, dance, learn a new language {this is slightly off
topic, but if you do want to do this, you can go to
www.bbc.co.uk/languages, and there are onlinee courses}, you can
read, you can practise an instrument, go for a walk, go out on your
bike, watch telelvision, play with a pet, phone someone, make a
scrapbook of inspirational quotes, put photos in an album, etc.

Think each day of what you have done towards recovery, maybe you had
a purge free day, maybe you had a chocolate bar and didn't think
about it, maybe you didn't weigh yourself. Write down why you like
yourself, your good qualities. Feel good about yourself, because you
are a wonderful person. Write a letter to someone or something {you
don't need to send it} and tell them what you detest about your
eating disorder and all the bad things about it. You can send it to
yourself in the post, and then read it when you get it, and realise
what you are freeing yourself from.

Buy yourself something nice when you do well as a reward. You could
make a little bank of these things {bath bombs, stationary,
earrings, necklaces, little books etc} and wrap them up. Then pull
one out when you've had a good day.

Think of everything that is good in your life that you are happy is
there. Make a list of the things that make you happy and be thankful
for them.

Finally, don't give up. You will have good days and bad days, but
you are doing the right choice. You are showing what a trong person
you are in beating this disorder. Don't be disheartened if you have
a bad day, or a bad week, you can always try again tomorrow. You can
and wil do this.

"An ocean of sadness often borders the shores of paradise. Keep
swimming and you'll make it".

Live for the moment, for this moment is your life. Don't spend any
more of your life having an eating disorder, it's not worth it.
There is so much more to life than worrying about what people think
of you and what you look like. You are beautiful and people love you
for who you are. You are an amazing person and lots of people care
about you. You are not alone.

"Success consists of getting up just one more time than you fall."