Hello everyone,
is it worth me apologising again? :-D I dont seem to be able to get
myself together as yet. Although this has not that much to do with
my divorce this time. More to do with my knees. I had a recent
athroscopy on my left knee due to my not being able to walk very
well at all and falling over a lot. I found out after, that I need a
total knee replacement, which I am now waiting for. Meanwhile, my
arthroscopy and wash out has left my knee in a worse condition than
prior to the op. As now it keeps coming out...locking my knee in
such agony, I scream in pain struggling to get it back into place
again. Walking is becoming a dangerous nightmare and falling is
becoming very common. Ive got so many bruises now, I look as if Ive
been beaten up lol. I have to put my hands out to protect myself and
have cut both my hands and bruised them, making it hard for me to
use my crutches. I have felt sorry for myelf over this and have been
confined to the house. I dont have much family around me. My sister
lives 2 and half hours away by car, she doesnt drive and has young
children at school. And although I have brothers, one is sick with
Leukeamia, I want to be mobile for his sake as he will need me later
on. The other lives too far and works, as does my younger brother.
Basically, Im on my own a lot. And obviously I HAVE to walk as best
as I can, and (a lot of you will understand this) when you just
cant! its not a nice feeling. It makes you feel helpless and my
frustration levels rise that I have to calm myself down to get
through this period of time. I am going to ring my surgeon again
tomorrow to ask them to please bring my surgery forward as quickly
as possible, get my bionic knee and start to get a bit more mobile
again. I was born with birth defect on both my knees. So Ive never
had fantastic mobility at the best of times. But God! this year has
been the most....urgh...I have no words to describe this year. At
least none that I would write on the www :-)

On the plus side, Ive lost a lot weight. And there is just a week
left of this HIDEOUS year! I never say *it cant get worse* because
things can always get worse, there is always worse out there. So I
will just say this. That I hope that 2009 will be the start of a
wonderful year, that as each day passes it will get better and
better and that I will be able to smile again....and that one day
soon I will find my happiness again.

Enough of me and my whinging and whining. And I am hoping that you
are all well. As this year draws to a close. I want to wish you all,
the very very best. And hope and pray that 2009 brings you all
HEALTH, WEALTH, PEACE AND HAPPINESS.

all my very best to you

Sandara

P.S. I am sorry that the chats have been off the menu for so long. I
do promise that from 2009 I will start it up again religiously every
fortnightly. Stay with us in our little group please and bare with
me, and I will be back in the loop very soon. Take care.