Faith:

I had my first detethering seven or eight years ago at the age of 27
or 28. It took them 6 months to get to a diagnosis. It was hard
finding anyone who knew about SB in adults, and ultimately I ended up
with a neurosurgeon from a pediatric hospital. It took three weeks
to schedule the surgery, and I was out of work for about 8 weeks. I
did return to work with issues, but like you, it was hard not having
a paycheck, and I was my sole source of support for myself and my
dog. I was unmarried at that time, and had a hard time of it. My
family was not supportive financially, and did relatively little to
help me otherwise (at least as far as I am concerned) - hell, I was
washing my clothes in the bathtub for months before anyone offered to
take me to the laundromat because I coudln't carry the baskets. All
in all, I don't think I fully recovered for at least a year, although
I quit my job three months after I returned to work and moved accross
the country to lessen my load. I worked part time for almost two
years before I went back to full time when my now-husband proposed
marriage, mortgage and (maybe)a family.

Like you, even knowing the risks, I now have two wonderful children,
and am now facing a second case of tethering. I started having
problems during my pregnancy and they just didn't go away. Some are
questioning whether I should have had my son, but I needed him, or he
needed me, or we needed each other. At any rate, I wouldn't undo it
to be back where I was a year ago, and I don't believe you would
either. These challenges have made us what we are today. We can
choose to take away from these things life lessons in patience and
persistance, or be angry and resistent - it's our choice.

This time around, I have long term disability insurance paying 60
percent of my salary. Since my children stay with me most days,
without daycare costs, financially it's almost as if I were working
and I am the one watching my four month old son learn to eat his
first spoonfuls of cereal this time around (I worked when my daughter
was this small). Lemons make the lemonade!

Get on your doctors about moving forward with this. If you are
losing bladder function, talk to them NOW. Nerve damage CANNOT be
undone, and bladder function problems are related to your nerves.
The statistics and personal knowledge will tell you that bladder
control does not return. Please, let them know what is going on, so
you can spare yourself the anguish later. I grew up being told that
I had control over my bladder, that I just was being stubborn or
lazy. I have kidney damage from UTI's that went untreated -
undiagnosed. My parents were in denial pretty much until my 20's
when I took over my own care. One thing I've learned, don't be
afraid to speak up, and don't be afraid to insist on what you need.
Doctors don't always think about your bills, your children, your
life. They see a diagnosis, not a person. Get them to see the
person, be your own advocate, and tell them your fears and needs. If
you have a good doctor, they will be thankful you did.

Good luck Faith. I hope it works out well for you!

Dawn