I cannot accept the concept of being powerless.

In most things I recognize a lack of total control,
but in few instances is one truly powerless. To
espouse powerlessness is to advocate the surrender of
responsibility: to believe in being powerless can
easily lead to lethargy, complacency, and defeatism.

For the purposes of this short discussion, influence
is defined as the act or power of producing an effect.


While I cannot usually control the actions of others,
it is defeatism to assume that I have no influence
over people. I know that I can influence response in
those around me. I know I have influence because I
have observed the consequences of my influence. Based
on such experience, a reasonable person should be able
to recognize patterns and have ever more expanding
influence. For example, I know that certain persons
currently in my life can be brought to anger simply by
making sexually explicit comments. Knowing that these
persons considers themselves to be professional,
Christian people, I can surmise that persons of like
beliefs will have similar reactions to the same
stimuli. This isn’t always true, but often enough to
enable me to anticipate reactions in similar
situations in the future. If it were to serve my
purpose to anger or alienate someone, I can consider
employing this experience.

I cannot control my drinking of alcohol once started.
But if I were truly powerless, I would not be able to
obtain or maintain sobriety. I cannot control the
fact that I still have urges to drink, but I do
control the decision to drink.

I have found a very influential partner in sobriety
(vice sponsor) with whom I share problems encountered
in remaining sober. This individual uses experience
and common sense to justify opinions and
recommendations on emotion, behavior and actions.
However, I must make the last decision to accept
advice or act upon my own convictions. Therein lays
the falsehood in surrendering my life to someone else.
Even in following every direction given, I cannot
ultimately surrender responsibility and, therefore, I
ultimately retain the power.

Even in metropolitan traffic, I have the means to
influence the actions of those around me. My vehicle
is equipped with signal and brake lights which should
influence those around me. I use these devices to
warn others that a change in conditions is either
taking place or is imminent. I cannot control the
decision of the drivers around me to make the
necessary adjustments, but I can influence their
decision making process. I must trust that this
influence will cause the correct adjustments in
others. If we did not have this expectation, no
rational person would ever operate a motor vehicle in
traffic.

If a therapist honestly holds the belief that there is
no possibility for positively influencing the life of
their patients, then the therapist is living a lie and
is working for nothing but an income.

I accept that I have ultimate control over very
little, but I have power over a great deal. With this
distinction, I am able to work with the feelings of
frustration when things are not resolved to my
expectation. However, I have the inspiration and
motivation to seek and follow the courses of action
which hold the greatest potential for positively
influencing my life.




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