Hi Dawn ,

Your reply really did make me feel better . I will try out your
advice . I appreciate your being so sincere & understanding . I
think it's people like you that make a difference in the world. It
was also a big comfort to know I'm not alone .

I'll be away on vacation for a week or so , but would like to keep
in touch too . By the way , I like the meaning of your name . Mine
is pronounced ( where I come from ) the way I spell it & means a
scented flower , also known as " Jasmin".

--- In socialanxietydisordersupport@yahoogroups.com, Dawn Muldoon
<princessdaybreak@y...> wrote:
> Hi, I can relate to your expeerience...my fixation comes from OCD
and I have tried meditation, visualization, positive self-talk and
distraction. It doesn't always help, but it does serve to relieve
some of the embarassment and stress associated with this. I'm not
certain if it's socially or sexually based? It sounds like it's a
touch of both. I know my social anxiety stems from something
different than my sexual fixation of OCD. Try telling yourself that
you'll maintain eye contact for 30 seconds, then take a break (e.g.
busy yourself with something else) then resume eye contact. Keep
focused on the conversation. When you find yourself fixating, make
a cognitive effort to shift your gaze or change the conversation
topic, ;perhaps it is something cued by conversation. You said you
are from another culture? Perhaps you just need to tell yourself
it's okay to be a sexual being and that will help you overcome your
embarssment and help with your fixation. I don't know if any
> of this has helped you, but if you feel like talking, please
feel free to email me. I'm on-line frequently.
>
> Take care and feel better!
> Dawn
>
> yes_mee_na <yes_mee_na@y...> wrote:
> Hi , I'd like to tell you of a problem I've had for the last year
> now , hoping you can tell me how to banish it. It's really
affecting
> my life in many negative ways like ; feeling very uneasy around
> strangers & being unable to enjoy my time among friends like
> before . Especially that I had always been an outgoing social
person
> before this.
>
> I pray that I'm not misunderstood ....... It all began when I was
> watching an Anatomy video during a course I was taking ( I am a
> physician ), and the topic was about the male reproductive organ .
> It was too descriptive & illustrated beyond anything I had ever
been
> exposed too . Unluckily , a male colleague came up from behind me
in
> the middle of it , wanting to ask me a question . Instead of
looking
> to his face , my gaze involuntarily got directed to his organ !!
You
> could imagine the utter suprise/horror on his face . He actually
> paniced & took a step back!! Anyway , this caused me great
> embarrassment & distress . Further more created a vicious cycle
that
> I have been unable to break for 13 months now !!
>
> Everytime I think of talking to a guy , I'm so fixated on the
> thought that " I will not look at his organ " that that is
> immediately the 1st thing my eyes fall upon . Of course it has
> created alot of embarrassment on both sides of any conversation .
It
> had even extended to female breasts !! You can imagine the weird
> looks I got & unease I create with anyone talking to me . I have
> tried everything from praying to talking to myself to fixating my
> gaze away from the person & I end up looking as if I'm talking to
> the person's shadow !!!! Now , I'm at a point where I avoid
talking
> to people all together unless I really have to & even so , keep it
> very short . Ofcourse , during work , I manage to seem busy while
> talking to a patient or discussing a problem with a colleague , so
> that I don't have to hold a steady gaze , but it's badly affecting
> my doctor-patient relationships & creating bad morale among my
> colleagues , all who interpret my action as that I don't care
enough
> to establish eye-contact & give them more of my attention.
>
> Lately , I managed to go from gazing at people's organs to just
> looking momentarily into their eyes then looking away , then back
at
> their eyes then away again . And I carry this on through the whole
> conversation so that I don't have to hold a gaze in fear it might
> wander down to unwelcomed areas !
>
> I'm really suffering from this & hope you can tell me of a way to
> break the cycle . It would really put a smile back on my face &
have
> me among people enjoying myself like I once-upon-a time
did .Thanks.
>
> PS ; I had got married recently ( a prearranged marriage ) &
thought
> that this might help relieve any sexual tension that may have been
> causing this . ( I was a virgin till 25 yrs because as you
might've
> guessed , I come from a very conservative culture ). Anyway , it
> didn't help at all . The problem still persists .
>
>
>
>
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