Hi , I'd like to tell you of a problem I've had for the last year
now , hoping you can tell me how to banish it. It's really affecting
my life in many negative ways like ; feeling very uneasy around
strangers & being unable to enjoy my time among friends like
before . Especially that I had always been an outgoing social person
before this.

I pray that I'm not misunderstood ....... It all began when I was
watching an Anatomy video during a course I was taking ( I am a
physician ), and the topic was about the male reproductive organ .
It was too descriptive & illustrated beyond anything I had ever been
exposed too . Unluckily , a male colleague came up from behind me in
the middle of it , wanting to ask me a question . Instead of looking
to his face , my gaze involuntarily got directed to his organ !! You
could imagine the utter suprise/horror on his face . He actually
paniced & took a step back!! Anyway , this caused me great
embarrassment & distress . Further more created a vicious cycle that
I have been unable to break for 13 months now !!

Everytime I think of talking to a guy , I'm so fixated on the
thought that " I will not look at his organ " that that is
immediately the 1st thing my eyes fall upon . Of course it has
created alot of embarrassment on both sides of any conversation . It
had even extended to female breasts !! You can imagine the weird
looks I got & unease I create with anyone talking to me . I have
tried everything from praying to talking to myself to fixating my
gaze away from the person & I end up looking as if I'm talking to
the person's shadow !!!! Now , I'm at a point where I avoid talking
to people all together unless I really have to & even so , keep it
very short . Ofcourse , during work , I manage to seem busy while
talking to a patient or discussing a problem with a colleague , so
that I don't have to hold a steady gaze , but it's badly affecting
my doctor-patient relationships & creating bad morale among my
colleagues , all who interpret my action as that I don't care enough
to establish eye-contact & give them more of my attention.

Lately , I managed to go from gazing at people's organs to just
looking momentarily into their eyes then looking away , then back at
their eyes then away again . And I carry this on through the whole
conversation so that I don't have to hold a gaze in fear it might
wander down to unwelcomed areas !

I'm really suffering from this & hope you can tell me of a way to
break the cycle . It would really put a smile back on my face & have
me among people enjoying myself like I once-upon-a time did .Thanks.

PS ; I had got married recently ( a prearranged marriage ) & thought
that this might help relieve any sexual tension that may have been
causing this . ( I was a virgin till 25 yrs because as you might've
guessed , I come from a very conservative culture ). Anyway , it
didn't help at all . The problem still persists .