Hello,

although I've never been diagnosed with SAD I do dread going out of
my front door, answering the phone and generally any contact with
other people. God!, that sounds a bit too dramatic. I suppose I
meant on a bad day I feel like that. On a good one things can be a
lot easier - however good days are few and seem to be able to
quickly turn into bad days if I get a funny look from someone, hear
someone laughing ("they've got to be laughing at me!") and so on.

Unsurprisingly I don't have any friends apart from my family; I go
to work and occasionally go out to adult education tpe things - but
whenver I'm around people its not long before I start to believe
that they are bored by me or hate me or pity me or want to just
ignore me. I don't get many physical symptons (a fast heart beat,
sweaty palms but thats all) but when I come home I do get horrible
sensations in my belly/chest/solar plexus area that feel like
physical reapresentabtions of self-loathing.

I'm currently working through several books by an American Zen-
Buddhist counsellor called Cheri Huber and have found them to be of
great benefit. But still I'm alone and often lonely so thought I'd
join this group as a way to just help that lonely part of me. (Hope
that doesn't sound too arrogant!)

Anyway, sorry if this all seems a bit unfocused and rambling.
thanks
fly