Hi Regina,
Sorry to hear that your social anxiety is so severe. I am 27 and fought it
since I was in 7th grade, I've overcome a lot, but it still interferes
significantly. I am very proud to say that I was able to get through college
(with honors no less) in psychology (surprise!!!). I got a full time job in
researching substance abuse when I was 21 and am still there - been promoted
several times and got my master's in the meantime in psychology as well. Now,
it is time for me to find a new job, get prepared to get married and have a
family and I am absolutely freaking out about it. I started off taking .25 xanax
a day, now I can take 4 to 5 full strength valium and barely feel anything. I
also developed a substance abuse problem over the past 2 years - pretty funny
for someone who works with drug addicts all day.
I guess what I am saying is that there is hope. I had my first panic attack in
7th grade in front of my English class reading a book report outloud and it
devastated me. Since then I've been terrified of even sitting in class, but my
desire to learn and interest in psychology and figuring out what the hell is
wrong with me motivated me enough to get this far in life. I had extreme panic
attacks, total avoidance patterns, panic attacks making simple phone calls, it
was real bad, I would shake uncontrollably and hyperventilate. Somehow I made
it through. I still have panic attacks at work (when I was in school all the
time) and in social situations, my hands shake on their own now even when I'm
not nervous - it must be all that stored up anxiety. I've been clinically
diagnosed 3 times with social anxiety disorder/social phobia. Three attempts at
treatment, and still not cured. What helped me the most was a research study of
cognitive behavioral group therapy for social phobia at
Yale. It changed my whole life around. But obviously not enough because I'm
still dealing with this. I've tried Paxil and Zoloft - not of much help. Also
had a local support group going last year, but it's fizzled out.
Where do you live? I live in Connecticut.
Best Wishes,
Marla


crzymom75 <Crzymom75@...> wrote:

HI all! My name is Regina, and I am not sure if this is what I have
but I have done ALOT of searching and reading and it sounds about
right. About 5 years ago I was driving to work and I remember not
wanting to go that day, not sure why, but while I was driving my
heart started racing,I felt like I had no control of my body,
couldn't breathe right, and I blacked out. Thank GOD no one was hurt
I was on a small road and was going slow enough because I knew
something wasn't right that I was creeping along trying to get to
the gas station that I came to a stop when I crossed the wrong side
of the road and hit the curb my car stopped. That was the beginning
of the worst past 5 years of my life.Since then I have been
diagnosed with a heart problem (not sure what though),thyroid problem
(that miraculously went away with 2nd opinion),and I have spent more
time in my county hospital ER than with my own family. I have always
felt like people were starting at me or judging me everywhere I
went. My friends would get on to me because when we went out <no
matter where we were going> I had to have a few drinks BEFORE we
could leave. We all know what that turned into right? Well my
husband put me into a rehab about a year before the driving
incident. It worked. It scared the crap out of me. Anyways I know I
can be long winded (especially when I am nervouse) let's jump to
now. I am a 29 year old stay @ home mom, not because we can afford
it,but because I cannot go. I live 3 blocks from my boys elementary
school I can barely drive there and back every day, my heart rate
soars when I get into a car and I get very shaky. I can only go to
school functions (open houses,plays)if I have someone I can hang on
to the whole time, my DH cannot leave my side I will freeze up and
hit the floor. BTW I have 3 boys ages 13, 8, &6 and they never get
to do anything because I have become a prisoner of myself. They do
play baseball, they have great coaches that are willing to pick them
up. Only family knows about this because I am afraid of what people
say. I have successfully been able to push myself away from my
friends a couple of which dated back to 2nd grade.That way I did't
have to keep making excuses on why I can't go anywhere or do
anything. I miss everyone so terribly,but I really miss myself and I
know my family does. Sorry so long. Thanks for taking the time to
read it.




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