HI all! My name is Regina, and I am not sure if this is what I have
but I have done ALOT of searching and reading and it sounds about
right. About 5 years ago I was driving to work and I remember not
wanting to go that day, not sure why, but while I was driving my
heart started racing,I felt like I had no control of my body,
couldn't breathe right, and I blacked out. Thank GOD no one was hurt
I was on a small road and was going slow enough because I knew
something wasn't right that I was creeping along trying to get to
the gas station that I came to a stop when I crossed the wrong side
of the road and hit the curb my car stopped. That was the beginning
of the worst past 5 years of my life.Since then I have been
diagnosed with a heart problem (not sure what though),thyroid problem
(that miraculously went away with 2nd opinion),and I have spent more
time in my county hospital ER than with my own family. I have always
felt like people were starting at me or judging me everywhere I
went. My friends would get on to me because when we went out <no
matter where we were going> I had to have a few drinks BEFORE we
could leave. We all know what that turned into right? Well my
husband put me into a rehab about a year before the driving
incident. It worked. It scared the crap out of me. Anyways I know I
can be long winded (especially when I am nervouse) let's jump to
now. I am a 29 year old stay @ home mom, not because we can afford
it,but because I cannot go. I live 3 blocks from my boys elementary
school I can barely drive there and back every day, my heart rate
soars when I get into a car and I get very shaky. I can only go to
school functions (open houses,plays)if I have someone I can hang on
to the whole time, my DH cannot leave my side I will freeze up and
hit the floor. BTW I have 3 boys ages 13, 8, &6 and they never get
to do anything because I have become a prisoner of myself. They do
play baseball, they have great coaches that are willing to pick them
up. Only family knows about this because I am afraid of what people
say. I have successfully been able to push myself away from my
friends a couple of which dated back to 2nd grade.That way I did't
have to keep making excuses on why I can't go anywhere or do
anything. I miss everyone so terribly,but I really miss myself and I
know my family does. Sorry so long. Thanks for taking the time to
read it.