Hello Shellon,

 

As a mother who recently lost her twin boys (Brycen and Kenan), I sympathize with your grief.  First I must say your daughters name are beautiful.  My twins were fraternal and I lost them both at 20 weeks on April 3, 2008.  Reading your email brought back all too familiar feelings.  I was sick for about 4 1/2 months and finally when things started to look like easy sailing, I went into pre-term labor.  I am sure as everyone in the group as mention the healing process takes time and should not be rush. Not only are you trying to heal and be strong for yourself and your daughter, but for your husband and everyone around you.  I understand.  This was my boyfriend and mine first children and he also has a twin brother. So the whole twin dynamics thing has really affected us.   I don't want to say I totally know how you feeling because I don't but I do know it hurts so much just trying to smile and feel better.  I often find myself feeling guilty the days I do smile and other days I am just so angry still.  Even the little things upset me some days.  I mean it was even hard for me and boyfriend to constantly hear about Brad and Angelina rejoicing about their twins.  For me every night I write a letter to Brycen and Kenan in their own little journal.  Sometimes I cry to them and sometimes it's nothing but a simple I love you and miss you.  As time goes on I am sure you will find ways to heal that is best for you, just please embrace every emotion you are feeling (good and bad) and don't apologize for what you are feeling.

 

Kendra

shellonblanch <shellonsclarke@...> wrote: