Shellon,

It is good to have you join us on the forum after being at the Women's
Group Meeting on Wednesday. I, too, am glad Micaela introduced you to
SA. Her family has walked for SA numerous years in our "Walk to Remember"
MODS' walk. It is good that she is a neighbor of yours.

Our meeting was on Grief and Emotions and it was good that we could all
describe our emotions...especially our anger. Recognizing our anger for
what it is - is important for healing. All to often we deny that
emotion. It we do, our anger can eat away at us. As we discussed in the
group, finding ways to release it...through writing, talking, exercise,
"doing" in memory of our baby is critical, too.

As one of the members in the group said, I "need" to hurt - I don't want to
heal right now. We do need to spend time with our pain...with the way we
feel about our baby during that first year. We do need to "want" to
ultimately heal...our babies would want that for us. I don't believe our
children would want us to grieve them forever. But, grief is a normal
reaction to the death of our child. We have to linger with what it means
to us, and we have to make sure that we will never forget our precious
baby. This is a "normal" reaction in grief. We hurt, we bleed...scabs, if
you will, begin to happen ever so gradually. The process of healing is
just that...a process...

I hope you will find support both from new friends in the group and here on
the forum (some will be at both!) to help you move through your grief. We
have members in all stages of the "process" and making it doable is what we
try to do. There are ways to cope.

Wasn't the build a cuddly monkey that was shared on Wed. so cute! I have
been thinking about him. What a sweet way to remember your baby on his
anniversary. There were so many pretty mementos shared...all ways to
remember our special babies. We have a special group of moms (and dads)
don't we! I hope you will join us again in August!

Take care,
Marcia
The love stays..forever in our hearts.




.At 11:50 PM 7/17/2008, you wrote:

>Hello Everyone,
>I wanted to introduce myself to the group. I found out about SHARE
>from Micaela Brady in my neighborhood and I'm thankful to Micaela.
>I finally feel like I found a place where people understand me and
>why I'm angry, don't want to go out, socialize or whatever.
>I delivered identical twin girls, Zuri and Aliyah on April 19th, but
>after complications from cardiac arrest lost little Aliyah on June
>25th. I am left to raise Zuri without her twin but still trying to
>grieve for Aliyah.
>The whole situation has been a roller coaster since I found out I
>was pregnant last year because I was very sick in the beginning ,
>then as soon as I made it past sickness stage, I was put on bedrest
>at 20 weeks. Then hospitalized at 26 weeks and finally delivering at
>30 weeks. The girls had a long stay at Northside Hospital's NICU
>and only 6 days after Aliyah came home was when everything fell
>apart. I still have to put on a happy face to care for Zuri but it
>is the hardest thing because everytime, I look at Zuri, I see
>Aliyah..I want to heal and need to heal for Zuri, my older daughter
>and my husband . But trying to heal hurts...
>
>Shellon
>mom to Cyann , Zuri and Angel Baby Aliyah
>Cumming, GA
>
>