Thank you, Crystal for sharing. You and your husband are very strong
people and I find immense courage and strength from your story. So
thank you so much.

--- In shareatlantasupport@yahoogroups.com, "Crystal"
<ladybug_30340@...> wrote:
>
> Hi to all of our new members!
>
> My name is Crystal and this is my story.
>
> The first time I suspected I was pregnant, I was right. I had just
> gotten married at 18 and we were not trying. I was also taking birth
> control pills but they failed. For six and 1/2 glorious weeks, I had
> a secret. My world came crashing down when I found out I m/c'ed. I
> never stopped bleeding and started getting very sick. Finally, a few
> months later I was told that I had a bloodclot the size of a
> grapefruit attached to my left ovary at the opening of my left
> fallopian tube. When they biopsied it, the doctor found the remains
> of what had been my baby. I thank God every day that the tube did
> not rupture. Sadly, I was told my chances for having a baby were cut
> in half after they removed my "strong" tube and ovary (whatever that
> means). Six months later, still on birth control, my husband and I
> unexpectedly conceived again. I was overjoyed, especially when I
> found out it was twins! It was not to be either...
>
> My joy was very short lived. I had known I was pregnant for two
> weeks when I started cramping and spotting. Terrified I went to the
> ER and was told I had lost one baby. By the time the ultrasound was
> performed, I was bleeding bright red and had passed the first twin
> but there was still hope for the second... A week and a half later,
> I passed my second twin with very little fuss at my grandmother's
> house. I felt like I was just the most horrible person in the
> world. I had lost 3 babies in a year! After a few months of
> abstaining, my husband and I decided we were going to start trying to
> have a baby. Nothing happened for close to three years. I went to a
> RE and was told, "You will never conceive and if you do, never carry
> to term." I was heartbroken. Imagine being told this four days
> before my 22nd birthday. I had always longed for children. I even
> tried to make my dear sweet husband divorce me so he could have a
> baby, even if I couldn't.
>
> A year to the day that I was given that diagnosis, I conceived my
> darling little CJ. He started to make his presence known in a
> powerful way from the very start. At 11 weeks, I went for my first ob
> appointment and saw/heard the most breathtaking sound- my baby's
> heartbeat. Everything was going perfectly and at 22 weeks, I saw my
> precious boy, in all his glory. I was in love totally and
> completely! This was July 1st. On July 15th, my world crashed down
> yet again... I had taken a bath and got up feeling pressure down
> below. I thought I had to use the bathroom so I sat down and felt
> something slimy. It was my water bag protruding. I screamed and my
> husband and mother-in-law rushed me to the nearest hospital. I was
> put in Trendenberg (I think the spelling is right) for three days. I
> was too far dilated for an emergency cerclage. My precious boy was
> born on July 18th, at 10:51a.m. and lived for 3 and 1/2 hours. He was
> beautiful and perfect, just needing a little breathing help. The
> doctors gave up. I left the hospital the following day, numb and
> shattered. I was so beside myself with grief that I never thought I
> would ever smile again. I found ShareAtlanta the day after my son's
> funeral.
>
> Through my grieving process, I wavered between wanting children and
> not wanting to put myself through it again... Three pregnancies and
> no living babies... I was still debating when six months after CJ
> died, I got pregnant with my dear little girl Hope. She was born,
> with help from a cervical cerclage, at 37weeks,4days. She weighed 6
> lbs, 2.8oz and was 19 and 1/2 inches long. I can't believe that she
> will be two this year.
>
> However my story still does not end: *Please bear with me*
> I lost a baby last year due to a subchorionic hematoma at 9weeks. I
> am currently 11 weeks pregnant again, having a cerclage placed in a
> few weeks. So to take my LONG story and sum it up- Would I do this
> all again? To have my daughter with me and to have the honor of
> being the mommy to five angels...sure! I want all of the new members
> to know that we "veterans" know what you are going through and there
> is always *HOPE* for the future... We are here if you need us!
>
> Crystal
>