I was 39 and pregnant with my first baby. All was great no problems
and I felt wonderful, I was the glowing expectant mom. During my 23rd
week I was having backache at work. When I got home, pulled out What
to Expect book and read that since the baby was really growing now,
it was to be expected. As the night went on the pains got worse and
worse. Finally called the doc and went to hospital. I was in labor.
My water had not broken, but I was having contractions and was 4cm
dilated. They gave me some things to stop the contractions and it
worked. The problem was that my baby's foot was in the birth canal
so they put me in the hospital in a bed with my feet elevated over my
head to try to have gravity work. Five days later, I couldn't sleep
and felt more pressure down there. The ultrasound showed the baby
had dropped even farther, the butt was now in the birth canal so they
scheduled an emergency csection. OUr son Caleb Andrew was born Aug
17th weighing 1lb 8oz at 24 weeks. On the third day of his life he
had a double brain bleed, very common for preemies. He got sicker
and sicker and died on Aug 25th in my arms. I cannot explain the
pain and sorrow of the whole ordeal. I went to the next SHARE
meeting and also started grief counseling immediately.

I knew I was ready to try again after 6 months and we got pregnant
right away. I found out I was pregnant the day Pope John Paul died
and started calling my baby JP. We never saw a heartbeat and I
miscarried.

Its been a long road, but thanks to the moms at Share I have made
it. It really helped me to talk to others who have been through it
also.