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shareatlantasupport · SHARE Atlanta Preg Loss Grief Support
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I don't know what to do i need help   Message List  
Reply | Forward Message #1279 of 1356 |
Re: [SHARE Atlanta Preg. & Newborn Loss Grief Support] I don't know what to do i need help

Hello Tammy,
 
My condolences. I know that it is hard to not have that closure. To feel as though people made choices for you well meaning or not. You are right you should have had the choice to be involved or not with your daughters burial. I can only imagine that you family meant well at the time. Though it is not any consolation to you right now as you hurt and long for your baby girl.
 
I know time has passed, however you should do something for your daughter now. Have a memorial service for her, visit her grave, donate in her memory something that will allow you to grieve for her and allow you to grieve for her and honor her life no matter what that means. Also allow yourself to have the feelings that you are having no matter what they are. Hopefully your family will give you that space to grief even though time as passed and I am sure most people feel you should be healed by now. There is no real time frame on grief. It is different for everyone. Please be gentle with yourself.
 
 I am glad you wrote. It is a reminder to me that even though my little one died 4 years ago this month I am still allowed to miss and mourn him. A mother's love never dies.  

From: justsambritt <justsambritt@...>
To: shareatlantasupport@yahoogroups.com
Sent: Sat, October 10, 2009 3:14:16 PM
Subject: [SHARE Atlanta Preg. & Newborn Loss Grief Support] I don't know what to do i need help

 

11 yrs ago i lost my baby girl Samantha she was stillborn. All my feelings are now just to start coming out. I have kept this in for 11 yrs i am so angry at my mother in law and husband for doing my daughter's funeral i was left out. Samantha was born by csection and i was in the hospital for 3 days they wanted her buried before i got out of the hospital,i just need someone to talk to. I have not talking to my mother in law since Samantha's birthday last yr. I am tired of holding my feelings in so i just went off on her and my husband. I know it's wrong GOD says forgive but they took something from me i can never have back my Samantha's casket was closed so i never got to see her again before she was buried. I am just so mad that i was left out i mean i carried her and i loved her more than they did. If you can help me please do. thanks Tammy Lee
Sat Oct 10, 2009 7:37 pm

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AnneAlyce
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Forward 		Message #1279 of 1356 |
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11 yrs ago i lost my baby girl Samantha she was stillborn. All my feelings are now just to start coming out. I have kept this in for 11 yrs i am so angry at... 		justsambritt
Offline Send Email 		Oct 10, 2009
7:14 pm

Hello Tammy, My condolences. I know that it is hard to not have that closure. To feel as though people made choices for you well meaning or not. You are right...
Adrianne Alyce
AnneAlyce
Offline Send Email 		Oct 10, 2009
7:38 pm

I am sorry for ur loss as well. But u probably done ur babies funeral. I don't know what made them think that they had the right to do and they also tried to...
justsambritt
Offline Send Email 		Oct 11, 2009
1:11 am

Tammy, I have to agree about babies knowing before they are born what they are coming into. With mine, CJ was born at 6 months. He was alive at birth but...
lilmamacitabonita
lilmamacitab...
Offline Send Email 		Oct 11, 2009
1:25 am

You are all right that there is no time-line no right way, you have to follow your feeling. I disagree that babies are lost b/c they know they're coming into...
msimmons1023
Offline Send Email 		Oct 11, 2009
2:06 am

Mindy, well said I agree :). ________________________________ From: msimmons1023 <msimmons1023@...> To: shareatlantasupport@yahoogroups.com Sent: Sat,...
Adrianne Alyce
AnneAlyce
Offline Send Email 		Oct 11, 2009
11:50 pm

Ladies, I want to thank you for sharing so beautifully and with such understanding to our parents. Finding peace comes in stages and can span years. We...
Marcia McGinnis
hope4101
Offline Send Email 		Oct 12, 2009
12:54 am
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