I am a reading specialist who worked with a
second grade sm child who hadn't spoken in school for 5
years. Using behavior mod, shaping, and stimulus fading,
he overcame his silence in 7 mo., without the use of
medication. I found that school personnel and doctors are not
at all familiar with selective mutism. Just to let
you know that my web site is up at
<a href=http://www.selective-mutism.com
target=new>http://www.selective-mutism.com</a> and you may find my manuscript to
be very useful.
It includes daily notations and plans with
strategies, activities, and resources. The book has been
approved by several experts as a sound approach. I have
tried very hard to make a guide available to parents
and teachers of selectively mute children so that
knowledge and an intervention can be successfully
integrated into the school setting. I hope I may be of help
to some of the many looking for a resource. All the
best. Gail Kervatt

quentin-<br>My daughter is 6 she is in
kindergarten just turned 6 and has been accepted into a
psychotherapy school for this same thing. my husband though he
is no longer in the military also travels alot. and
is away alot for work. we live about an hour and a
half from you in Albany. (I have alot of family in
valdosta and being military you must be at moody lol)<br>I
dont know how far the reach extends but this school
takes children from many other counties and such.
Within a week after my child started there she started
whispering to the teacher. We havent progressed any farther
yet but it is almost 2 mos. since she has started.
She went the whole time before this at reg school
without talking to anyone. If you would like you can get
in touch with me and I will try to help any way
possible.<br>email me at kholt_vi@....<br>I will see what
I can do.<br>if you want to be sure before
contacting me then I just happen to be able to have a
reference you could easily meet. Dr. Lansing Hillman is at
moody. Ask her about Kacey in Albany. Thats me.
:-)<br>hope to hear from you.<br>~K~

I am glad that I came across this club. My
daughter (5yrs) old now, bilingual (Jpnse/Engl)started
showing these symptoms when she was 3yrs old. Talks at
home and not with others. We thought it was her being
shy. Last school year in Pre-k she did not talk for
the whole school year. Near the end of the school
year her teacher gave us a reference on "selective
mutism". I still did not know what this was likewise with
the school staff. In the past 2 1/2 years we have
moved like 4-5 times. I am in the military and I was
quick to think that this contributed to her SM and at
times being seperated from her for job reasons. Last
November, we moved to a small town in GA named Valdosta and
enrolled her in school and informed the school staff on
her condition. Her school had never heard of such a
condition, so I seeked help from a psychologist. Every
psychologist i called said they would only take patients 6yrs
and above...I had already called like 6 offices in
this town being as small as it is and finally a
therapist took her. We have been seeing the therapist for
almost 2months and she likes him, but does not speak to
him. When she likes someone she likes to draw pics for
them or bake cookies. Since seeing the therapist for
2months now and i wonder if any progress is being
done...Also i heard there is some signs like when the child
draws pictures that certain colors and figures in the
pic depict some sort of feeling to the child..Need
help from anyone and appreciate it..

Hi,<br>I have confirmation of the room number for our meeting on Jan 29th.Elm
Wing,room 4109.<br>Hope to see you there.<br>A reminder that children are
welcome.<br>Lin

hey<br> I can not give information about the
meetings but anything I can do to help just let me
know<br>I have been dealing with this with my daughter and
if you just need someone to vent frustrations or
whatever maybe share ionfo on the subject let me
know<br>anything I can do to help<br>Kacey

Hello,<br><br>I am interested in finding out
about your meetings. I just joined the club tonight.
Please inform me of any upcoming events. I am anxious to
get info that can help my daughter.<br><br>Thanks.

Hello to you all.<br>Just a reminder that our
meeting is Tuesday January 29th at Hospital for Sick
Kids. 6-8 p.m.<br>I will post the room # later
today.<br>Please confirm your attendance a.s.a.p. Dr. Sandra
Mendlowitz will be attending. If you have questions for her,
please e-mail them to me a.s.a.p.<br>Thank you,<br>Lin

Many children suffering from Selective Mutism
also have separation anxiety. If she isn't talking it
may be Selective Mutism.<br>Please visit our website
at www.selectivemutism.org<br>We are an organization
dedicated to the research of Selective Mutism and childhood
anxietie, and offering support and information to those
dealing with it.<br>The experts in our organization will
undoubtedly be able to help you.<br>Good
luck!<br>Adrienne<br>Executive Coordinator<br>Selective Mutism Group - Childhood
Anxiety Network

Alex, please visit our website at
www.selectivemutism.org<br>We are an organization who offer support and
information to people suffering from Selective Mutism and
anxieties.<br>Your attitude is brilliant!! You sound like a great
person.<br>Best wishes<br>Adrienne<br>Executive
Coordinator<br>Selective Mutism Group - Childhood Anxiety Network

alex i wonder if you know the difference between
selective mutism and seperation anxiety. Some doctors are
saying that my daughter has s.m. and yet others are
saying it is seperation anxiety.<br>She goes off to play
with people (without speaking) often and spends the
night with friends or family. So i dont tend to think
she has a problem with being seperated. But do the
two go hand in hand? Thank you all for your time You
have all been very helpful.<br>Special_K

Im already with an psyciatrist.The psciatrist is
very nice and probably i'll get used to him. I heard
there was an difference between selective mutism and
social anxiety disorder. Mostly kids get selective
mutism, and mostly kids 5 below or above get selective
mutism. They are completely anxious to speak and they
wont even talk when spoken to. they wont answer
questions. In social anxiety disorder, well thats what i
have because i do speak when spoken to but i am very
quiet and shy at school and anywhere else.<br><br> Im
currently experiencing social anxiety for 8 years already.
I cant hardly speak in school unless spoken to.but
i will work on my shyness and never give up.

hi!....please tell me how old you are?...you
sound exactly like my son.....except he has NEVER spoke
in school...he's been fairly lucky...he likes school
and has a lot of very good friends..they grew up with
him so just seem to accept him...but i know that even
though he doesn't say much about it...he must feel very
frustrated inside...please let us know how your meeting with
the psychiatrist goes...jordan always refused to
go.....GOOD LUCK and hang in there!

hi! i am also new to this club but not new to
sm.....i noticed your message and realize its been awhile
since u posted it....but i had to say...please fight
for your daughter...we know from firsthand experience
the school cannot penalize her grades or discriminate
in any way...withhold anything from her...sm is a
disease....no diff then being blind or deaf...it is a
handicap...and the school..by law..has to make adjustments and
treat her the same as any child...we have been
lucky...we've had great support from our school....they were
the first ones to tell us our rights...but u do have
to hang in there and stand up for what u need...our
son..Jordan is 13....7th grade...A student...and top athlete
in his class....hes never spoke a word...you just
need to support her ....love her...and pray
alot...keep your chin up and keep searching for ways to help
her...

i have a 13 yr old son with sm...we have elected
not to put him on meds....fear of side effects...also
fear of results later in his life..<br>we did however
decide to try...on advice of our doctor...a herbal
vitamin...St. Johns wort app 3 months ago...we have noticed he
is more outgoing then he has been in the past...has
anyone in here heard of a vitamin called something like
c-theragran? not sure of spelling...supposed to be a sort of
mood enhancer?

Hi Adrienne,<br>We live in Toronto. We lived in
Israel 2 years ago. My daughter (4 years old) refuses to
speak Hebrew with us for more then a year and forgot
most of her Hebrew. We decide to give up about Hebrew
because all the talking problems. It is less confusing if
you have to think and act only in on language.<br>We
had therapist for 5 month that comes to our house.
There is amazing improvement in the last 2 months. She
is talking with the therapist while playing,She is
now whispering to the teacher voluntary, and a little
bit to kids at school. She is talking freely with 2
girls that come to our house occasionally.There is
hope.Irit

Why have you been told to get an attorney? What
is going on with you?<br><br>You have to believe in
yourself - when our daughter (now aged six) was diagnosed
with SM three years ago we discovered that very few
people knew what it was. We did a huge amount of
research on the internet, and printed out loads for
information to give to educators. We even "interviewed"
therapists to find out which one was good enough to help our
daughter. We explained everything to the kindergarten
teachers, and last year I sat with the school counsellor
and headmaster before my daughter started school in
order to educate them about SM. They in turn sat with
all the teachers that would come in contact with my
daughter.<br>Stay calm - YOU ARE RIGHT. THE TEACHER IS WRONG.<br>Do
not feel you have done anything to cause your child's
problem. Our first two kids (now age 12 and 14) never had
any such problem - and they have the same parents as
my youngest!!! Don't look for the reason WHY it
happened - just find out how to help her. Find yourself a
therapist who knows what SM is - they are rare but they can
be found. The psychologist who treated our daughter
was the third one we met with before we decided that
she was knowledgeable enough about SM to treat our
daughter.<br>Unfortunately you are in a position where you have to be the
one to teach everybody around your childs condition.
Be strong. Belive in yourself - nobody knows what is
best for your child EXCEPT YOU! You can do it. And you
have the support of all parents of SM children who
know exactly what you are going through. You are not
alone. We all care about you, we feel for you, and we
understand you.<br>Take heart, we are here for
you.<br>Adrienne

Hi Irit!<br>My youngest daughter was diagnosed
three years ago. We did family therapy for a year, but
now we are going it alone. Where do you live? We live
in Israel, and although my daughter will
occasionally speak English to me in front of others she
refused to speak one word of Hebrew in front of others
(even though she is fluent in it)

Does anybody have any info about treating SM with
medication - without concurrent psychological treatment (our
daughter was in treatment for a year but the psychologist
said it was now up to our daughter to talk an so she
is no longer seeing a psychologist)

i no longer know what to do<br>i dont know which
way is up and which is down<br>i am soo confused<br>i
have been told i need to get an attorney but every one
i contact has no idea how one would handle this.
they say this is my fault<br>i dont know what i did i
dont think i did this to her<br>i would never want my
child to go through this<br>i am so scared i dont know
if i should let these people try to help her or if
by doing so it would hurt her more<br>i am scared
that no matter which decision i make it will be the
wrong one<br>i wish i knew what to do and i wish there
were someone in my area that knew how to help me<br>if
i did do this to her unknowingly am i causing harm
to my other 3 children? i guess i wont know until
they start school and someone decides if they are
messed up to.<br>i just want to take my children and
leave and go somewhere where either we can get help or
we can be by ourselves and no one will hurt her
anymore.<br>i just dont feel like i know anything
anymore.<br>not so SPECIAL feeling _K

well as an update for us the situation here has
not gotten much better. My daughter is being picked
on to the point of coming home with marks from what
the other children have done to her. she still hasnt
spoken to her teachers other students or therapist. She
is starting to withdraw from friends that she has
known all her life. well maybe not withdraw completely
but it now takes longer before she "warms up" to
them. she has been diagnosed with sm but her school
doesnt know enough about it nor does her therapist and
it has gotten to the point that the teacher has
developed animosity towards me for constantly trying to
keep up as go between i call her after school
sometimes not at all but sometimes 3 times a week to let
her know things i feel she should know that my child
says when she gets home. but she has told me that she
doesnt want me to call anymore. we have notified the
school board and she is soon to be tested to see what
can be done as far as schooling goes but i really am
terrified that some things may seem like a good idea but be
very bad in the long run. i am so stressed i no longer
know what to do. Mt husband has had to take a week off
work just to help me get through to the people we
needed to reach to try to find help. and yet i still
dont see any way in the near future of helping. we
have all but pulled her out of school she is missing
alot of days because now she is frightened of the
other children hurting her. I really just dont know
what to do anymore. the longer it goes on the further
she withdraws but at home she is such a talkative
active child that it doesnt seem fair to her to have to
go through all this. Thank you all for your time if
for no other reason than for me to have somewhere to
pour out my frustrations. Thank God for this club it
actually makes me feel like there is a shoulder for me
when i need it.<br>special_K

It is good that so many of you are willing to share in this club.  Its the only
way it will work.

Thanks for finding this club.  Please check out the parent support group led by
Lin Gorenkoff who meet every month at the Hospital for Sick Children<br><br>Dan

I am a teacher of a selectively mute child. I
found, as you did, that school personnel and doctors are
not at all familiar with selective mutism. Just to
let you know that my web site is up at
selective-mutism.com and you may find my manuscript to be very useful.
I have tried very hard to make a guide available to
parents and teachers of selectively mute children and
hope that I may be of help to some of the many parents
and teachers looking for a guide. I wish you the best
of luck. Gail Kervatt

Hi,<br>My daughter is 4 and she hes the same
behavior as your daughter. She is my youngest, after 2 big
boys. she is not talking to anybody accept our core
family. We don't have any relatives in Canada.
punishments and prizes didn't help . We started a psycology
therapy 3 month ago. Yesterday was the first time she
spoke to her therapist directly, without me in the
middle. It is a good sign, but the way to normal talking
in public is long. Irit

hi i just found that this may be (more than
likely is) exactly what my daughters problem is<br>she
is avery bright 5 yr old and total chatterbox and
drama queen at home but away from home it is like
someone turned off a switch and she becomes rigid and
looks like a deer caught in headlights<br>she tells me
she tries to talk and she says she forgets to talk.
she says she cant stand everyone always asking her
why she wont talk so i stopped i have video taped her
showing her "school type skills" and sent it to school
and yet she is failing kindergarten for refusing to
speak. she hasnt spoken at school and its been 2 1//2
mos. they have even tried punishing her and witholding
her milk at lunchtime to make her speak. nothing is
working and they wont let mesit with her in class because
it would disrupt the other students. if anybody has
advice on how i can help her while i try to get her
tested please reply. i am at my wits end i feel so bad
for my little girl and just want her to experience as
much normalcy as possible.
ty<br>special_K<br><br>(mommy is Kacey little girl is Kalynn)

Hello, "Alexkidd" - I'm a new member here and
would be very happy to talk with you one-on-one about
your problem. My email is laurrygirl@... and my
name is Jael. I had selective mutism for many years.
<br>While I am here I will try to address some of your
questions in this message. <br>I can really relate to a lot
of what you are saying. People were always asking me
if the cat had my tongue. I hated it too. I hated
being called shy and asked why I didn't talk. My mom
always tried to cover for me - "she's just quiet, she
doesn't like to talk"... My mother was the only person I
talked to unreservedly. My dad was in the Navy and
hardly ever home so I didn't know him well and wouldn't
talk to him. I trusted a few friends my age and would
talk to them. I was a smart child (not to brag) and
learned to read on my own at four, etc. My problem was
not a learning disability, therefore. I would say it
was just an inability to talk. My dad would command
me to say hello to people we met and I would open my
mouth and nothing would come out. I was terrified then
because I knew he'd be mad at me. Anyway, do email me,
and we can really get into this. I'd love to be able
to help you if I could. :) I'm glad to be a part
here.<br>Jael

I have this very strong selective mutism.I call
it the "Dark Shyness" because this shyness is very
strong!! In school Im always quiet,the only way I could
say something is when someone asks me a question,or
if someone tells me to respond to something.I am
SSSSOOOO QUIET at school and I say like about a few words
each day and dont nearly talk alot!!People sometimes
say that Im quiet or ask howcome I dont talk,and
everytime they say that I get mad!I HATE it when people say
that Im quiet, IT is so annoying when alot of people
have to say the same thing everytime,"How come you
dont talk alot","your so quiet","open your
mouth!!".Its like that everywhere!I am always quiet!Ive
expierienced this selective mutism problem for 7 years
already!!the only people I can socialize with now is my
family, and two friends of mine.I believe that I feel
lonely because Ive never seen anyone as shy as me in
person before.I dont know what to do with this problem I
feel like Im stuck!! Im about to meet a phsyciatrist
in November. People in school act as if Im being
quiet on purpose. They dont help and they critize.I
always try to say somthing at school or anywhere but I
feel as if "cat has just got my tongue"!!!!! In other
words I feel paralized in speaking. This problem is the
worst thing that has ever happened in my whole life!!
and is worser than a cold.

Having recently moved here in Feb. from the USA,
it was hard for me to get around and find out about
possible causes for my sons behavior. His JK teacher
mentioned to me that he may be a selective mute, at first I
thought to myself, what the heck is that. Then I came to
the net and read up on it and I agree with her theory
100%. He is 5 years old and won't talk to anyone at all
outside of our home, which only consists of myself and my
husband (his step-father). He hasn't actually been
diagnosed with it yet but we do have an intake appointment
next Tues. so hopefully that is a step in the right
direction. **I plan to frequent this club often so if you
have any advice or messages for me, I will definately
get them.** I live in Mississauga,Ontario and am very
happy to be living in such a wonderful country! Have a
great day!

Im available, Im mostly online in the weekends
now since theres school.I have selective mutism.I
have a very Serious case of it too.Im hoping that this
club is more alive and that Anybody can help me out on
getting rid of my selective mutism.<br> This is my first
time in this club.Do you have selective mutism?

Sorry about that...guess most people are busy these days...please contact Lin
Gorenkoff to find out when they get online