I know at least one of you has children with anexity problems other than SM and
i was wondering what if any meds they're using.  It looks like SM is only the
tip of the ice burg and my daughter is starting to show alot more anxeity
symptoms.  I guess that's why treatment has never worked. Any way any info on
severe anxiety meds would be helpful  thanks

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

I havent updated ya'll in quite some time but I am sooooooo happy
I first wrote 2 yrs ago when my oldest child  Kalynn started having
problems in kindergarten. The problems got pretty bad and thanks to
Dr Elisa Shipon-Blum she got moved to a psycho-educational school
where they treated her very well. She just came out of that school 2
months ago and we moved home to Florida. She is now in regular
public school and I am so happy to say that last week I got to see
her on stage in a school play. Granted she was just part of the
chorus but that makes no difference to me
she stood up and sang and did the moves and all. She also announced
that next time she wants to try out for a part.
I want to thank all of you because you were all there when I so
desperatly needed someone to be there.
we still have our moments of extreme shyness where she freezes. But
they are so much less now.
So thank you all and THANK YOU Dr Elisa Shipon-Blum
From the bottom of my heart.
Kacey and Kalynn

congratulations i really hope your daughter will continur to make progress
   ----- Original Message -----
   From: Shelly
   To: selectivemutismsupportgroup2@yahoogroups.com
   Sent: Thursday, November 20, 2003 7:07 PM
   Subject: [Selective Mutism Support Group] Excited!!!!!


   Hello everyone. I got wonderful news yesterday.. I am now working at
   my daughter's school so I get info first hand.. My daughter's speech
   therapist came to me almost in tears.. My daugher and her were
   sounding out words.. She was doing it out loud!!!! Then the speech
   therapist told her to say the sounds faster.. She put a whole word
   together and said it out loud!!!!!Oh its so wonderful.. The big
   thing is that she is comfortable in that situation.. My daughter has
   told me that all she did that day was sound out words,, but she
   sounded them out loud.. Last week the teacher turned her back and my
   daughter talked out loud to a friend, who told the teacher the
   answer to a question..
   3 years and she is sounding out words with out wispering.. Wonderful
   progress...

   Just wanted to share..
   Thanks
   Shelly

   P.s.  Emma you have my ok if you use any thing I put in..


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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

no objections at all anything that will educate other people on SM is great idea
   ----- Original Message -----
   From: siane.whitton@...
   To: selectivemutismsupportgroup2@yahoogroups.com
   Sent: Thursday, November 20, 2003 4:05 AM
   Subject: [Selective Mutism Support Group] any objections????????


   Hi everyone, I am at university in Wales, Uk, studying early childhood. I have
a module on child welfare and am writing about SM, I had SM as a child so I will
be particularly sensitive in my aproach. I was wondering if any one had any
objections to me using information from their e. mails??? I will state the
source as Selective Mutism support@yahoo but will not include names or personal
details, it will be strictly confidential. Also if anyone would like to read a
copy of the finished assignment I would be happy to send a copy. I believe this
is an excellent chance to educate people (proffessionals) about SM, or to even
just let them know it exists. Thank You, Emma


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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

I know the feelings that you had when you read the characteristics of
SM ...i felt the same.  My daughter also does not speak in pre-school
and is diagnosed with SM.  It took educating my own doctor about SM
to get to this point.
If she enjoys going to school then I would keep going with her.  We
have tried very small steps...like mouthing words and sign language
to start and Katie is progressing but very slowly.  I know it is
heart breaking to watch, but I am not sure pulling her out will do
anything.  You will be in the same situation next year.  The best
thing seems to get your teacher involved and make her/him understand
that you daughter is not choosing not to speak, she CAN'T speak at
school.  This seems to give people a whole different feeling...and
they seem to approach the situation with more compassion.  Good
Luck.





--- In selectivemutismsupportgroup2@yahoogroups.com, "jerkie_99"
<jerkie_99@y...> wrote:
> I have recently enrolled my four year old in preschool.  She has
been
> there a little over a month and will not talk.  Her teacher is
> getting really worried and anxious about her speaking.  I knew she
> was having some separation anxiety and started doing some searching
> and came across SM.  I am totally floored.  She has many of the
> characteristics of an SM child.  I have always noticed that she
> complained of bellyaches whenever we go places.  She also would
pick
> at her finger when nervous.  She has always been shy, but I never
> imagined that she would go a whole month without talking.  She is
> such a chatterbox at home.  Tends to be a bit bossy, very creative,
> vivid imagination.  Her teacher tested her this week and said she
> scored very low because she couldn't get her to communicate.  I am
> upset over this because she is such a bright child.  I printed out
> some info on selective mutism and sent it to her teacher, her
teacher
> asked if she had been diagnosed with this and suggested that I take
> her to a doctor.
>
>  I'm not sure what to do now.  How would I find someone in my area
> that deals with SM?  Is there anything that we (teacher and I) can
do
> to overcome this?  I am almost ready to pull her out and wait until
> next year to send her back, but I know that will not do any good
> because they can hold her back.  Please help.

Hi Victoria.  You may want to check the "files" on the other Yahoo sm message
board.  I have an article there titled, "Help for Teachers".  It would be a
"beginning" for your child's teacher to know that she needs to be a part of an
intervention to help your daughter overcome her anxiety.  Print out as much
information as you can find on the web and give it to the teacher and principal
of the school.  They need to be educated to begin to understand and respond
appropriately.  All the best.
Gail


   ----- Original Message -----
   From: Victoria Johanet, MSEd
   To: selectivemutismsupportgroup2@yahoogroups.com
   Sent: Wednesday, November 19, 2003 9:15 PM
   Subject: [Selective Mutism Support Group] Re: [Selective MYmutism Support
Group] My four year old


   Dont pull her out of school.  Tell her teacher not to ask her any questions as
this will only increase her anxiety.  Also dont tell her she is shy as to not to
give her a label.  Not speaking stems from extreme anxiety from social
situations.  My four year old is going through this at school.  The advice I am
giving you came from her psychologist who is treating her SM.  Try finding a
child psychologist at a university hospital that has good children's services. 
Also, talk to people who may know somebody (networking).  Ask your pediatrician
if he/she knows a good child psychologist.  I found her psychologist through
somebody that I mentioned her problems to at work.  That person knew a friend
who had a child who was seeing somebody for it.  You never know what turns up.
   My four year old did not speak a word her entire first year of school.  After
much worry I decided to find help this year to break the pattern of silence. 
She is extremely withdrawn and does not speak or participate in play with other
children.  Lately, with therapy and medication, she is beginning to come out
little by little.  She is beginning to say brief words at school to other
children.  Today she talked to her psychologist and played a word game with him.
This is the first time she interacted with an adult who was not part of her
family and I was so thrilled!
   Just to get this far has been a long and painful process for the both of us.
   Keep educating yourself and find a good psychologist who can help.
   Victoria

   jerkie_99 <jerkie_99@...> wrote:
   I have recently enrollled my four year old in preschool.  She has been
   there a little over a month and will not talk.  Her teacher is
   getting really worried and anxious about her speaking.  I knew she
   was having some separation anxiety and started doing some searching
   and came across SM.  I am totally floored.  She has many of the
   characteristics of an SM child.  I have always noticed that she
   complained of bellyaches whenever we go places.  She also would pick
   at her finger when nervous.  She has always been shy, but I never
   imagined that she would go a whole month without talking.  She is
   such a chatterbox at home.  Tends to be a bit bossy, very creative,
   vivid imagination.  Her teacher tested her this week and said she
   scored very low because she couldn't get her to communicate.  I am
   upset over this because she is such a bright child.  I printed out
   some info on selective mutism and sent it to her teacher, her teacher
   asked if she had been diagnosed with this and suggested that I take
   her to a doctor.

   I'm not sure what to do now.  How would I find someone in my area
   that deals with SM?  Is there anything that we (teacher and I) can do
   to overcome this?  I am almost ready to pull her out and wait until
   next year to send her back, but I know that will not do any good
   because they can hold her back.  Please help.



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   [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]


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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Hi Julie, i take your advice I will not be using any information without
permission as I have already stated in my e.mails. Thanks, Emma
>
> From: "Julie" <follow.your.heart@...>
> Date: 2003/11/20 Thu PM 01:51:46 GMT
> To: <selectivemutismsupportgroup2@yahoogroups.com>
> Subject: Re: [Selective Mutism Support Group] any objections????????
>
>

-----------------------------------------
Email provided by http://www.ntlhome.com/



[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Emma, I have no problems with you using the SM info, I'm glad to see that
someone is going to educate others!

siane.whitton@... wrote:Hi everyone, I am at university in Wales, Uk,
studying early childhood. I have a module on child welfare and am writing about
SM, I had SM as a child so I will be particularly sensitive in my aproach. I was
wondering if any one had any objections to me using information from their e.
mails??? I will state the source as Selective Mutism support@yahoo but will not
include names or personal details, it will be strictly confidential. Also if
anyone would like to read a copy of the finished assignment I would be happy to
send a copy. I believe this is an excellent chance to educate people
(proffessionals) about SM, or to even just let them know it exists. Thank You,
Emma


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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Shelly that is terrific news!  What a HUGE MILESTONE!!!!

Shelly <shellyhollo@...> wrote:Hello everyone. I got wonderful news
yesterday.. I am now working at
my daughter's school so I get info first hand.. My daughter's speech
therapist came to me almost in tears.. My daugher and her were
sounding out words.. She was doing it out loud!!!! Then the speech
therapist told her to say the sounds faster.. She put a whole word
together and said it out loud!!!!!Oh its so wonderful.. The big
thing is that she is comfortable in that situation.. My daughter has
told me that all she did that day was sound out words,, but she
sounded them out loud.. Last week the teacher turned her back and my
daughter talked out loud to a friend, who told the teacher the
answer to a question..
3 years and she is sounding out words with out wispering.. Wonderful
progress...

Just wanted to share..
Thanks
Shelly

P.s.  Emma you have my ok if you use any thing I put in..


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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Hello everyone. I got wonderful news yesterday.. I am now working at
my daughter's school so I get info first hand.. My daughter's speech
therapist came to me almost in tears.. My daugher and her were
sounding out words.. She was doing it out loud!!!! Then the speech
therapist told her to say the sounds faster.. She put a whole word
together and said it out loud!!!!!Oh its so wonderful.. The big
thing is that she is comfortable in that situation.. My daughter has
told me that all she did that day was sound out words,, but she
sounded them out loud.. Last week the teacher turned her back and my
daughter talked out loud to a friend, who told the teacher the
answer to a question..
3 years and she is sounding out words with out wispering.. Wonderful
progress...

Just wanted to share..
Thanks
Shelly

P.s.  Emma you have my ok if you use any thing I put in..

Yes, you have my permission to use my posting.  Please send me a copy of your
report. I'm sure you will get a good grade
Victoria

siane.whitton@... wrote:
Hi everyone, I am at university in Wales, Uk, studying early childhood. I have a
module on child welfare and am writing about SM, I had SM as a child so I will
be particularly sensitive in my aproach. I was wondering if any one had any
objections to me using information from their e. mails??? I will state the
source as Selective Mutism support@yahoo but will not include names or personal
details, it will be strictly confidential. Also if anyone would like to read a
copy of the finished assignment I would be happy to send a copy. I believe this
is an excellent chance to educate people (proffessionals) about SM, or to even
just let them know it exists. Thank You, Emma


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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Sometimes there is a mixup between a few selective mutism support groups, so
please allow me to answer this question since I'm the group manager on
selectivemutismsupportgroup@yahoogroups.com

Emma: I think all research and writings you are doing is wonderful, but please
do not use any information from the groups without specific permission from the
people involved.  We need to feel free in our group to be able to post anything
without wondering if it will be somehow used in a way that we do not agree with.
(And I am not saying that YOU will do this) This is standard procedure for all
email and all groups.

You are welcome to post your assignment at
selectivemutismsupportgroup@yahoogroups.com as I'm sure lots of us would love to
read it.

Good Luck

Julie
follow your heart






[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Emma, I have no objections to you using emails.  I would love a copy of the
finished report.  My daughter is now 12, she suffered for many years and is
currently doing great.  Maureen

siane.whitton@... wrote:Hi everyone, I am at university in Wales, Uk,
studying early childhood. I have a module on child welfare and am writing about
SM, I had SM as a child so I will be particularly sensitive in my aproach. I was
wondering if any one had any objections to me using information from their e.
mails??? I will state the source as Selective Mutism support@yahoo but will not
include names or personal details, it will be strictly confidential. Also if
anyone would like to read a copy of the finished assignment I would be happy to
send a copy. I believe this is an excellent chance to educate people
(proffessionals) about SM, or to even just let them know it exists. Thank You,
Emma


-----------------------------------------
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Emma,

I would suggest you going to the Selective Mutism Group-Childhood Anxiety
Network at www.selectivemutism.org to gather some factual information on SM.
I would also recommend you email each individual of any particular post you
may want to use to get individual permission.  If you are going to
generalize the information it might be okay, but out of respect for these
parents and to protect their child's privacy (even though we are posting on
a public forum) it would be ethnically the right thing to do, to get
individual permission.  I am also a student, going into the helping field,
and this is something that is instilled in us to always protect the rights
and privacy of our clients.  I personally wouldn't care if you used anything
I wrote, however others might.
I am glad to hear that you are willing to educate many more people on SM.
That is what we need to help everyone understand our children. I hope you
are doing well now in your life since you have overcome your SM.   Take care
Emma and good luck with your project.

Sherry
   -----Original Message-----
   From: siane.whitton@... [mailto:siane.whitton@...]
   Sent: Thursday, November 20, 2003 5:06 AM
   To: selectivemutismsupportgroup2@yahoogroups.com
   Subject: [Selective Mutism Support Group] any objections????????


   Hi everyone, I am at university in Wales, Uk, studying early childhood. I
have a module on child welfare and am writing about SM, I had SM as a child
so I will be particularly sensitive in my aproach. I was wondering if any
one had any objections to me using information from their e. mails??? I will
state the source as Selective Mutism support@yahoo but will not include
names or personal details, it will be strictly confidential. Also if anyone
would like to read a copy of the finished assignment I would be happy to
send a copy. I believe this is an excellent chance to educate people
(proffessionals) about SM, or to even just let them know it exists. Thank
You, Emma


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   To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
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   Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Hi everyone, I am at university in Wales, Uk, studying early childhood. I have a
module on child welfare and am writing about SM, I had SM as a child so I will
be particularly sensitive in my aproach. I was wondering if any one had any
objections to me using information from their e. mails??? I will state the
source as Selective Mutism support@yahoo but will not include names or personal
details, it will be strictly confidential. Also if anyone would like to read a
copy of the finished assignment I would be happy to send a copy. I believe this
is an excellent chance to educate people (proffessionals) about SM, or to even
just let them know it exists. Thank You, Emma


-----------------------------------------
Email provided by http://www.ntlhome.com/

I am so glad that you found this website.. What great advice and
support from Victoria and Maci.. You two are wonderful.
I don't think that I can add much, they about covered it all.
It is just so important to be sure that the school understands that
SM is an anxiety disorder.. Work on ways to lower your daughters
anxiety, and you should start to see progress.
The IEP process shouldn't take months. Once you request an
evaluation, the school has 45 days to do the evaluation, and have a
initial IEP meeting.
The majority of children with SM will test low in speech/language and
probably auditory processing.. Anxiety has a huge impact on the way
the brain processes information.. There are non-verbal tests that the
school can use for the evaluation.. Most of the tests that are used
with Autistic children, will work with SM children as well. A good
special ed team should be able to get a good assesment.
Keep us posted, and let us know how we can help.. :-)

Carol
www.selectivemutism.org
Administrative Assistant/Parent Advisor

In a message dated 11/20/03 12:13:59 PM Tokyo Standard Time,
jerkie_99@... writes:


> I'm not sure what to do now.  How would I find someone in my area
> that deals with SM?  Is there anything that we (teacher and I) can do
> to overcome this?  I am almost ready to pull her out and wait until
> next year to send her back, but I know that will not do any good
> because they can hold her back.  Please help.
>
>

I know exactly what you're going through!  My daughter's kindergarten teacher
tried to keep her from playing games with the other kids until she talked.
Of course, it didn't work, she sat and cried.  Each year after that, we've been
fortunate to find teachers that will work with us.  I've sat down with them
and told them that progress is made in baby steps and if SM kids feel pushed
too hard, it backfires.  My daughter is now in 6th grade and the SM has reached
a critical point... it's affecting her academically (oral reports) as well as
socially (she's an easy target).  (I'm in the process of getting her seen by a
child psychiatrist, the only specialist around here.)

First of all, you're not going to "overcome" it all at once.  You may be able
to make progress, but like I said, progress is made in baby steps.  It's
important that the teacher does not put your daughter on the spot so she feels
she
has to talk and communicating in other ways *is* ok!  Some teachers don't
agree with this, I've found, but SM is not a refusal to speak... your daughter
*can't* speak... no more than a wheelchair-bound child can get up and run a
mile.

My daughter's teachers would try to ask her yes or no questions so that she
could just nod or shake her head to answer.  Later on, she was able to whisper
to the teacher, but would write notes to the teacher if others were around.
When she was in 1st grade, the teacher would leave her alone in the room with a
running tape recorder so reading skills could be evaluated.  (and it worked!)
  In 3rd grade, we were able to video tape her at home reading a poem and then
it was played at school when the other kids had to read their poems.  In 4th
grade, the class did a "living wax museum" where they had to tell people who
they were and why they were important.  My daughter made an audio tape of her
little speech at home.  We copied it with dead air space between the
repetitions so it would play over and over.  When people asked her who she was,
she
stood still like a statue, pushed play on the tape recorder, and when the speech
was done, she pushed stop.  The next person would come along and ask her, she
repeated the routine.  It worked like a charm and she learned that people would
not laugh at the sound of her voice.

I was so tempted to pull my daughter out of school, too!  Of all of my kids,
she would be the easiest to homeschool.  It doesn't solve the problem,
unfortunately.

I hope you'll be able to find someone in your area who can deal with this!
Have you talked to your pediatrician?  Maybe he/she can give you a referral to
a child psychologist or psychiatrist.  School psychologists aren't always the
best route to go (in my experience, anyway) because they're so busy - they
tried to brush my daughter off.

Do lots of research!  I found a great FAQ at www.selectivemustism.org,
printed it out and gave it to my daughter's teachers who then shared it with the
school psychologist.  Her teachers thought they knew about SM, but they didn't.
(They asked me if she had gone through some early childhood trauma - but she
hasn't!)  The school is trying to formulate a plan to help her (required by
law, I'm told), but it can take months.  Just remember, you are your daughter's
best advocate and don't let them put you off or tell you no!


Marci


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Dont pull her out of school.  Tell her teacher not to ask her any questions as
this will only increase her anxiety.  Also dont tell her she is shy as to not to
give her a label.  Not speaking stems from extreme anxiety from social
situations.  My four year old is going through this at school.  The advice I am
giving you came from her psychologist who is treating her SM.  Try finding a
child psychologist at a university hospital that has good children's services. 
Also, talk to people who may know somebody (networking).  Ask your pediatrician
if he/she knows a good child psychologist.  I found her psychologist through
somebody that I mentioned her problems to at work.  That person knew a friend
who had a child who was seeing somebody for it.  You never know what turns up.
My four year old did not speak a word her entire first year of school.  After
much worry I decided to find help this year to break the pattern of silence. 
She is extremely withdrawn and does not speak or participate in play with other
children.  Lately, with therapy and medication, she is beginning to come out
little by little.  She is beginning to say brief words at school to other
children.  Today she talked to her psychologist and played a word game with him.
This is the first time she interacted with an adult who was not part of her
family and I was so thrilled!
Just to get this far has been a long and painful process for the both of us.
Keep educating yourself and find a good psychologist who can help.
Victoria

jerkie_99 <jerkie_99@...> wrote:
I have recently enrollled my four year old in preschool.  She has been
there a little over a month and will not talk.  Her teacher is
getting really worried and anxious about her speaking.  I knew she
was having some separation anxiety and started doing some searching
and came across SM.  I am totally floored.  She has many of the
characteristics of an SM child.  I have always noticed that she
complained of bellyaches whenever we go places.  She also would pick
at her finger when nervous.  She has always been shy, but I never
imagined that she would go a whole month without talking.  She is
such a chatterbox at home.  Tends to be a bit bossy, very creative,
vivid imagination.  Her teacher tested her this week and said she
scored very low because she couldn't get her to communicate.  I am
upset over this because she is such a bright child.  I printed out
some info on selective mutism and sent it to her teacher, her teacher
asked if she had been diagnosed with this and suggested that I take
her to a doctor.

I'm not sure what to do now.  How would I find someone in my area
that deals with SM?  Is there anything that we (teacher and I) can do
to overcome this?  I am almost ready to pull her out and wait until
next year to send her back, but I know that will not do any good
because they can hold her back.  Please help.



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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

I have recently enrolled my four year old in preschool.  She has been
there a little over a month and will not talk.  Her teacher is
getting really worried and anxious about her speaking.  I knew she
was having some separation anxiety and started doing some searching
and came across SM.  I am totally floored.  She has many of the
characteristics of an SM child.  I have always noticed that she
complained of bellyaches whenever we go places.  She also would pick
at her finger when nervous.  She has always been shy, but I never
imagined that she would go a whole month without talking.  She is
such a chatterbox at home.  Tends to be a bit bossy, very creative,
vivid imagination.  Her teacher tested her this week and said she
scored very low because she couldn't get her to communicate.  I am
upset over this because she is such a bright child.  I printed out
some info on selective mutism and sent it to her teacher, her teacher
asked if she had been diagnosed with this and suggested that I take
her to a doctor.

  I'm not sure what to do now.  How would I find someone in my area
that deals with SM?  Is there anything that we (teacher and I) can do
to overcome this?  I am almost ready to pull her out and wait until
next year to send her back, but I know that will not do any good
because they can hold her back.  Please help.

Dear Maureen,
Tell Gina that a lot of people that she does'nt even know are proud of her.  Do
you think Gina can write to the support group and tell us about her life with
SM?  My daughter is still young at 4 but one day I will share all this info with
her.
Thanks
Victoria

Maureen Bazz <moebazz@...> wrote:
Hi my daughter Gina (12) was diagnosed with SM when she was 8 she began on
prozac right away (we saw Dr. Black an SM specialist in Boston) Gina was on
medication for four years, she is currently off meds and on Friday she gave a
powerpoint presentation on the "Tempest" to her English and computer class!!!  I
am the happiest mother alive right now, I am so proud of her for being able to
do this but I know she would not have been able to do this if she had not been
on the meds for the last four years, it was a struggle to decide to take her
off, as she was doing so good on  it but now I know she has benefited from the
durgs as she got an A on her report and it was all related to speaking!!!  If
anyone wants to talk directly to me I can be reached at moebazz@...
Risewick <sararise@...> wrote:I am in Upstate NY...but my sister
lives in Newburgh.  I have searched for someone around here and I am still
unable to find anyone who feels that they have a real knowledge of
SM.  I will keep searching....thanks for all your help.

   ----- Original Message -----
   From: Victoria Johanet, MSEd
   To: selectivemutismsupportgroup2@yahoogroups.com
   Sent: Tuesday, November 11, 2003 8:17 AM
   Subject: Re: [Selective Mutism Support Group] HELP!


   Hi Sara,
   I'm in Orange County, NY.  I am using a psychologist and neuropsychologist
from NYU Child Study Center in Manhattan.  I went there for a diagnostic
consultation.  The psych. also has an office in Rockland County,NY where she
goes for weekly behavior therapy.
   I was told from day one to start her on meds (SSRI drugs:  Prozac or Effexor).
I was relectant to medicate her so I waited.  THe therapy has not helped, so I
finally started her on meds last week (prozac).  It's too soon to see real
signifcant changes, except that she told me she played at the block table with 2
other kids.
   Your daughter sounds miles ahead of mine.  My daughter has very severe social
anxiety in addition to not talking when at school.  She wont even play with the
toys or climb the playground equipment for fear of a social encounter.  The fact
that she played at a table with other kids is a big deal! (At home she plays
with kids)
   The idea of the meds is to lower her anxiety so that she can feel relaxed in
school.  Hopefully then the behavior therapy will help.   The goal is to get her
off meds as soon as she's ready.  I really dont want to keep her on too long.
   Try to get a formal diagnosis for your daughter.  It will help when you go to
your school district for help. Check out the University hospitals in your area
or you can take her to my doctor in Manhattan and stay at my house if you need
to.
   Log on to the website About Our Kids.  Once on the site, put a search for
Selective Mutism.  This is the NYU Child Study site for SM.  They have really
great info on therapy and meds.
   My goal is to get her help through the district and fade out the psychologist
from NYU, once she's stable.
   Talk to Carol, Michele, Shelly, Sherry  from this Support Group.  They helped
me with my desicions more than the doctors!
   Keep in Touch
   Victoria
   Keep in touch.


   Sara Risewick <sararise@...> wrote:
   Hello Victoria, sorry it took me so long to respond...I have been busy.  How
long did you wait before meds?  Are you seeing any progress with them?  I have
contacted the school district and they have not gotten back to me yet.  How did
you find your therapist?  Katie (my daughter) talks non-stop at home and in
small play groups.  She LOVES to go to school and all her activities
(gymnastics, soccer) but just does not talk at them.  I find myself doing
nothing right now in the hopes that she will come out of this, or fix it
herself.  I know I am kidding myself, but I am so ambiguous about medication.  I
also only have this "online" support so I am thankful for your thoughts.  Where
downstate are you?
   Sincerely,
   Sara Risewick
     ----- Original Message -----
     From: Victoria Johanet, MSEd
     To: selectivemutismsupportgroup2@yahoogroups.com
     Sent: Monday, November 03, 2003 7:36 AM
     Subject: Re: [Selective Mutism Support Group] HELP!


     Sara,
     My daughter is also 4 and in her second year of pre-school.  Same problem
exists with her that you described with your daughter.  I am taking her to a
therapist who has recommended behavior therapy in combo with SSRI meds (prozac,
effexor, etc).  It kills me to put her on meds but the behavior therapy alone
has had little impact and she remains mute in school.
     Our battle has just begun so I also rely on this support group for advice.
     I am now in the process of going to the school district for help.  She was
evaluated by CPSE committe on pre-school special education.  She tested above
average academically but with no social skills! (in school that is:  at home she
is great) It is the law in NY State to give help to kids with special needs, so
look into it with your school district (I live downstate).  It will help if you
can have her formally diagnosed with SM by a psychologist/psychiatrist.
     Good Luck,
     Victoria


     Sara Risewick <sararise@...> wrote:
     Thanks....I appreciate the e-mail.  I am trying to stay positive, but am
still unsure of what to do.  I am not even sure that Katie (my daughter) knows
what she is feeling or why she doesn't want to talk....how will therapy help
her?
     Sara
       ----- Original Message -----
       From: vonkoenig
       To: selectivemutismsupportgroup2@yahoogroups.com
       Sent: Sunday, October 26, 2003 10:46 AM
       Subject: Re: [Selective Mutism Support Group] HELP!


       getting her into therapy sooner rather than later is very important, the
longer you let it go the harder it gets to overcome.  you need to have a ton of
patience and the more people who let her know they love her if she talks or not
can be really helpful. and last but not least don't give up, change doctors if
you need to, fight the insurance company, stick up for her at school, whatever
you need to do good luck
         ----- Original Message -----
         From: sararisewick
         To: selectivemutismsupportgroup2@yahoogroups.com
         Sent: Saturday, October 25, 2003 11:28 AM
         Subject: [Selective Mutism Support Group] HELP!


         Hello, my daughter is four and a half and is in her second year of
         pre-school.  She was silent the entire last year and I thought it was
         just because she was shy.  I have since learned that she is
         selectivley mute.  She is now in a 4 day pre-K program and has still
         not spoken.  At home, and in small playgroups she is extremely
         verbal.  I am so frustrated by this.  I have read everything I can on
         selective mutism but find the advice for getting her to talk
         minimal.  The "wait and it will come" attitude is not working.  I try
         to minimize the anxiety at school and my hope is that she will open
         up.  I also have tried to get her to just say "hi" and "bye" to the
         kids and teachers, but so far that has not worked.  I need some
         advice from others as to what has helped their children.  I would
         appreciate any words of wisdom.
         Thanks,
         Sara Risewick
         Rochester, New York


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Hi my daughter Gina (12) was diagnosed with SM when she was 8 she began on
prozac right away (we saw Dr. Black an SM specialist in Boston) Gina was on
medication for four years, she is currently off meds and on Friday she gave a
powerpoint presentation on the "Tempest" to her English and computer class!!!  I
am the happiest mother alive right now, I am so proud of her for being able to
do this but I know she would not have been able to do this if she had not been
on the meds for the last four years, it was a struggle to decide to take her
off, as she was doing so good on  it but now I know she has benefited from the
durgs as she got an A on her report and it was all related to speaking!!!  If
anyone wants to talk directly to me I can be reached at moebazz@...
Risewick <sararise@...> wrote:I am in Upstate NY...but my sister
lives in Newburgh.  I have searched for someone around here and I am still
unable to find anyone who feels that they have a real knowledge of
  SM.  I will keep searching....thanks for all your help.

   ----- Original Message -----
   From: Victoria Johanet, MSEd
   To: selectivemutismsupportgroup2@yahoogroups.com
   Sent: Tuesday, November 11, 2003 8:17 AM
   Subject: Re: [Selective Mutism Support Group] HELP!


   Hi Sara,
   I'm in Orange County, NY.  I am using a psychologist and neuropsychologist
from NYU Child Study Center in Manhattan.  I went there for a diagnostic
consultation.  The psych. also has an office in Rockland County,NY where she
goes for weekly behavior therapy.
   I was told from day one to start her on meds (SSRI drugs:  Prozac or Effexor).
I was relectant to medicate her so I waited.  THe therapy has not helped, so I
finally started her on meds last week (prozac).  It's too soon to see real
signifcant changes, except that she told me she played at the block table with 2
other kids.
   Your daughter sounds miles ahead of mine.  My daughter has very severe social
anxiety in addition to not talking when at school.  She wont even play with the
toys or climb the playground equipment for fear of a social encounter.  The fact
that she played at a table with other kids is a big deal! (At home she plays
with kids)
   The idea of the meds is to lower her anxiety so that she can feel relaxed in
school.  Hopefully then the behavior therapy will help.   The goal is to get her
off meds as soon as she's ready.  I really dont want to keep her on too long.
   Try to get a formal diagnosis for your daughter.  It will help when you go to
your school district for help. Check out the University hospitals in your area
or you can take her to my doctor in Manhattan and stay at my house if you need
to.
   Log on to the website About Our Kids.  Once on the site, put a search for
Selective Mutism.  This is the NYU Child Study site for SM.  They have really
great info on therapy and meds.
   My goal is to get her help through the district and fade out the psychologist
from NYU, once she's stable.
   Talk to Carol, Michele, Shelly, Sherry  from this Support Group.  They helped
me with my desicions more than the doctors!
   Keep in Touch
   Victoria
   Keep in touch.


   Sara Risewick <sararise@...> wrote:
   Hello Victoria, sorry it took me so long to respond...I have been busy.  How
long did you wait before meds?  Are you seeing any progress with them?  I have
contacted the school district and they have not gotten back to me yet.  How did
you find your therapist?  Katie (my daughter) talks non-stop at home and in
small play groups.  She LOVES to go to school and all her activities
(gymnastics, soccer) but just does not talk at them.  I find myself doing
nothing right now in the hopes that she will come out of this, or fix it
herself.  I know I am kidding myself, but I am so ambiguous about medication.  I
also only have this "online" support so I am thankful for your thoughts.  Where
downstate are you?
   Sincerely,
   Sara Risewick
     ----- Original Message -----
     From: Victoria Johanet, MSEd
     To: selectivemutismsupportgroup2@yahoogroups.com
     Sent: Monday, November 03, 2003 7:36 AM
     Subject: Re: [Selective Mutism Support Group] HELP!


     Sara,
     My daughter is also 4 and in her second year of pre-school.  Same problem
exists with her that you described with your daughter.  I am taking her to a
therapist who has recommended behavior therapy in combo with SSRI meds (prozac,
effexor, etc).  It kills me to put her on meds but the behavior therapy alone
has had little impact and she remains mute in school.
     Our battle has just begun so I also rely on this support group for advice.
     I am now in the process of going to the school district for help.  She was
evaluated by CPSE committe on pre-school special education.  She tested above
average academically but with no social skills! (in school that is:  at home she
is great) It is the law in NY State to give help to kids with special needs, so
look into it with your school district (I live downstate).  It will help if you
can have her formally diagnosed with SM by a psychologist/psychiatrist.
     Good Luck,
     Victoria


     Sara Risewick <sararise@...> wrote:
     Thanks....I appreciate the e-mail.  I am trying to stay positive, but am
still unsure of what to do.  I am not even sure that Katie (my daughter) knows
what she is feeling or why she doesn't want to talk....how will therapy help
her?
     Sara
       ----- Original Message -----
       From: vonkoenig
       To: selectivemutismsupportgroup2@yahoogroups.com
       Sent: Sunday, October 26, 2003 10:46 AM
       Subject: Re: [Selective Mutism Support Group] HELP!


       getting her into therapy sooner rather than later is very important, the
longer you let it go the harder it gets to overcome.  you need to have a ton of
patience and the more people who let her know they love her if she talks or not
can be really helpful. and last but not least don't give up, change doctors if
you need to, fight the insurance company, stick up for her at school, whatever
you need to do good luck
         ----- Original Message -----
         From: sararisewick
         To: selectivemutismsupportgroup2@yahoogroups.com
         Sent: Saturday, October 25, 2003 11:28 AM
         Subject: [Selective Mutism Support Group] HELP!


         Hello, my daughter is four and a half and is in her second year of
         pre-school.  She was silent the entire last year and I thought it was
         just because she was shy.  I have since learned that she is
         selectivley mute.  She is now in a 4 day pre-K program and has still
         not spoken.  At home, and in small playgroups she is extremely
         verbal.  I am so frustrated by this.  I have read everything I can on
         selective mutism but find the advice for getting her to talk
         minimal.  The "wait and it will come" attitude is not working.  I try
         to minimize the anxiety at school and my hope is that she will open
         up.  I also have tried to get her to just say "hi" and "bye" to the
         kids and teachers, but so far that has not worked.  I need some
         advice from others as to what has helped their children.  I would
         appreciate any words of wisdom.
         Thanks,
         Sara Risewick
         Rochester, New York


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       [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]


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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

I am in Upstate NY...but my sister lives in Newburgh.  I have searched for
someone around here and I am still unable to find anyone who feels that they
have a real knowledge of SM.  I will keep searching....thanks for all your help.

   ----- Original Message -----
   From: Victoria Johanet, MSEd
   To: selectivemutismsupportgroup2@yahoogroups.com
   Sent: Tuesday, November 11, 2003 8:17 AM
   Subject: Re: [Selective Mutism Support Group] HELP!


   Hi Sara,
   I'm in Orange County, NY.  I am using a psychologist and neuropsychologist
from NYU Child Study Center in Manhattan.  I went there for a diagnostic
consultation.  The psych. also has an office in Rockland County,NY where she
goes for weekly behavior therapy.
   I was told from day one to start her on meds (SSRI drugs:  Prozac or Effexor).
I was relectant to medicate her so I waited.  THe therapy has not helped, so I
finally started her on meds last week (prozac).  It's too soon to see real
signifcant changes, except that she told me she played at the block table with 2
other kids.
   Your daughter sounds miles ahead of mine.  My daughter has very severe social
anxiety in addition to not talking when at school.  She wont even play with the
toys or climb the playground equipment for fear of a social encounter.  The fact
that she played at a table with other kids is a big deal! (At home she plays
with kids)
   The idea of the meds is to lower her anxiety so that she can feel relaxed in
school.  Hopefully then the behavior therapy will help.   The goal is to get her
off meds as soon as she's ready.  I really dont want to keep her on too long.
   Try to get a formal diagnosis for your daughter.  It will help when you go to
your school district for help. Check out the University hospitals in your area
or you can take her to my doctor in Manhattan and stay at my house if you need
to.
   Log on to the website About Our Kids.  Once on the site, put a search for
Selective Mutism.  This is the NYU Child Study site for SM.  They have really
great info on therapy and meds.
   My goal is to get her help through the district and fade out the psychologist
from NYU, once she's stable.
   Talk to Carol, Michele, Shelly, Sherry  from this Support Group.  They helped
me with my desicions more than the doctors!
   Keep in Touch
   Victoria
   Keep in touch.


   Sara Risewick <sararise@...> wrote:
   Hello Victoria, sorry it took me so long to respond...I have been busy.  How
long did you wait before meds?  Are you seeing any progress with them?  I have
contacted the school district and they have not gotten back to me yet.  How did
you find your therapist?  Katie (my daughter) talks non-stop at home and in
small play groups.  She LOVES to go to school and all her activities
(gymnastics, soccer) but just does not talk at them.  I find myself doing
nothing right now in the hopes that she will come out of this, or fix it
herself.  I know I am kidding myself, but I am so ambiguous about medication.  I
also only have this "online" support so I am thankful for your thoughts.  Where
downstate are you?
   Sincerely,
   Sara Risewick
     ----- Original Message -----
     From: Victoria Johanet, MSEd
     To: selectivemutismsupportgroup2@yahoogroups.com
     Sent: Monday, November 03, 2003 7:36 AM
     Subject: Re: [Selective Mutism Support Group] HELP!


     Sara,
     My daughter is also 4 and in her second year of pre-school.  Same problem
exists with her that you described with your daughter.  I am taking her to a
therapist who has recommended behavior therapy in combo with SSRI meds (prozac,
effexor, etc).  It kills me to put her on meds but the behavior therapy alone
has had little impact and she remains mute in school.
     Our battle has just begun so I also rely on this support group for advice.
     I am now in the process of going to the school district for help.  She was
evaluated by CPSE committe on pre-school special education.  She tested above
average academically but with no social skills! (in school that is:  at home she
is great) It is the law in NY State to give help to kids with special needs, so
look into it with your school district (I live downstate).  It will help if you
can have her formally diagnosed with SM by a psychologist/psychiatrist.
     Good Luck,
     Victoria


     Sara Risewick <sararise@...> wrote:
     Thanks....I appreciate the e-mail.  I am trying to stay positive, but am
still unsure of what to do.  I am not even sure that Katie (my daughter) knows
what she is feeling or why she doesn't want to talk....how will therapy help
her?
     Sara
       ----- Original Message -----
       From: vonkoenig
       To: selectivemutismsupportgroup2@yahoogroups.com
       Sent: Sunday, October 26, 2003 10:46 AM
       Subject: Re: [Selective Mutism Support Group] HELP!


       getting her into therapy sooner rather than later is very important, the
longer you let it go the harder it gets to overcome.  you need to have a ton of
patience and the more people who let her know they love her if she talks or not
can be really helpful. and last but not least don't give up, change doctors if
you need to, fight the insurance company, stick up for her at school, whatever
you need to do good luck
         ----- Original Message -----
         From: sararisewick
         To: selectivemutismsupportgroup2@yahoogroups.com
         Sent: Saturday, October 25, 2003 11:28 AM
         Subject: [Selective Mutism Support Group] HELP!


         Hello, my daughter is four and a half and is in her second year of
         pre-school.  She was silent the entire last year and I thought it was
         just because she was shy.  I have since learned that she is
         selectivley mute.  She is now in a 4 day pre-K program and has still
         not spoken.  At home, and in small playgroups she is extremely
         verbal.  I am so frustrated by this.  I have read everything I can on
         selective mutism but find the advice for getting her to talk
         minimal.  The "wait and it will come" attitude is not working.  I try
         to minimize the anxiety at school and my hope is that she will open
         up.  I also have tried to get her to just say "hi" and "bye" to the
         kids and teachers, but so far that has not worked.  I need some
         advice from others as to what has helped their children.  I would
         appreciate any words of wisdom.
         Thanks,
         Sara Risewick
         Rochester, New York


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       [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]


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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Hi Sara,
I'm in Orange County, NY.  I am using a psychologist and neuropsychologist from
NYU Child Study Center in Manhattan.  I went there for a diagnostic
consultation.  The psych. also has an office in Rockland County,NY where she
goes for weekly behavior therapy.
I was told from day one to start her on meds (SSRI drugs:  Prozac or Effexor). 
I was relectant to medicate her so I waited.  THe therapy has not helped, so I
finally started her on meds last week (prozac).  It's too soon to see real
signifcant changes, except that she told me she played at the block table with 2
other kids.
Your daughter sounds miles ahead of mine.  My daughter has very severe social
anxiety in addition to not talking when at school.  She wont even play with the
toys or climb the playground equipment for fear of a social encounter.  The fact
that she played at a table with other kids is a big deal! (At home she plays
with kids)
The idea of the meds is to lower her anxiety so that she can feel relaxed in
school.  Hopefully then the behavior therapy will help.   The goal is to get her
off meds as soon as she's ready.  I really dont want to keep her on too long.
Try to get a formal diagnosis for your daughter.  It will help when you go to
your school district for help. Check out the University hospitals in your area
or you can take her to my doctor in Manhattan and stay at my house if you need
to.
Log on to the website About Our Kids.  Once on the site, put a search for
Selective Mutism.  This is the NYU Child Study site for SM.  They have really
great info on therapy and meds.
My goal is to get her help through the district and fade out the psychologist
from NYU, once she's stable.
Talk to Carol, Michele, Shelly, Sherry  from this Support Group.  They helped me
with my desicions more than the doctors!
Keep in Touch
Victoria
Keep in touch.


Sara Risewick <sararise@...> wrote:
Hello Victoria, sorry it took me so long to respond...I have been busy.  How
long did you wait before meds?  Are you seeing any progress with them?  I have
contacted the school district and they have not gotten back to me yet.  How did
you find your therapist?  Katie (my daughter) talks non-stop at home and in
small play groups.  She LOVES to go to school and all her activities
(gymnastics, soccer) but just does not talk at them.  I find myself doing
nothing right now in the hopes that she will come out of this, or fix it
herself.  I know I am kidding myself, but I am so ambiguous about medication.  I
also only have this "online" support so I am thankful for your thoughts.  Where
downstate are you?
Sincerely,
Sara Risewick
   ----- Original Message -----
   From: Victoria Johanet, MSEd
   To: selectivemutismsupportgroup2@yahoogroups.com
   Sent: Monday, November 03, 2003 7:36 AM
   Subject: Re: [Selective Mutism Support Group] HELP!


   Sara,
   My daughter is also 4 and in her second year of pre-school.  Same problem
exists with her that you described with your daughter.  I am taking her to a
therapist who has recommended behavior therapy in combo with SSRI meds (prozac,
effexor, etc).  It kills me to put her on meds but the behavior therapy alone
has had little impact and she remains mute in school.
   Our battle has just begun so I also rely on this support group for advice.
   I am now in the process of going to the school district for help.  She was
evaluated by CPSE committe on pre-school special education.  She tested above
average academically but with no social skills! (in school that is:  at home she
is great) It is the law in NY State to give help to kids with special needs, so
look into it with your school district (I live downstate).  It will help if you
can have her formally diagnosed with SM by a psychologist/psychiatrist.
   Good Luck,
   Victoria


   Sara Risewick <sararise@...> wrote:
   Thanks....I appreciate the e-mail.  I am trying to stay positive, but am still
unsure of what to do.  I am not even sure that Katie (my daughter) knows what
she is feeling or why she doesn't want to talk....how will therapy help her?
   Sara
     ----- Original Message -----
     From: vonkoenig
     To: selectivemutismsupportgroup2@yahoogroups.com
     Sent: Sunday, October 26, 2003 10:46 AM
     Subject: Re: [Selective Mutism Support Group] HELP!


     getting her into therapy sooner rather than later is very important, the
longer you let it go the harder it gets to overcome.  you need to have a ton of
patience and the more people who let her know they love her if she talks or not
can be really helpful. and last but not least don't give up, change doctors if
you need to, fight the insurance company, stick up for her at school, whatever
you need to do good luck
       ----- Original Message -----
       From: sararisewick
       To: selectivemutismsupportgroup2@yahoogroups.com
       Sent: Saturday, October 25, 2003 11:28 AM
       Subject: [Selective Mutism Support Group] HELP!


       Hello, my daughter is four and a half and is in her second year of
       pre-school.  She was silent the entire last year and I thought it was
       just because she was shy.  I have since learned that she is
       selectivley mute.  She is now in a 4 day pre-K program and has still
       not spoken.  At home, and in small playgroups she is extremely
       verbal.  I am so frustrated by this.  I have read everything I can on
       selective mutism but find the advice for getting her to talk
       minimal.  The "wait and it will come" attitude is not working.  I try
       to minimize the anxiety at school and my hope is that she will open
       up.  I also have tried to get her to just say "hi" and "bye" to the
       kids and teachers, but so far that has not worked.  I need some
       advice from others as to what has helped their children.  I would
       appreciate any words of wisdom.
       Thanks,
       Sara Risewick
       Rochester, New York


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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Hello Victoria, sorry it took me so long to respond...I have been busy.  How
long did you wait before meds?  Are you seeing any progress with them?  I have
contacted the school district and they have not gotten back to me yet.  How did
you find your therapist?  Katie (my daughter) talks non-stop at home and in
small play groups.  She LOVES to go to school and all her activities
(gymnastics, soccer) but just does not talk at them.  I find myself doing
nothing right now in the hopes that she will come out of this, or fix it
herself.  I know I am kidding myself, but I am so ambiguous about medication.  I
also only have this "online" support so I am thankful for your thoughts.  Where
downstate are you?
Sincerely,
Sara Risewick
   ----- Original Message -----
   From: Victoria Johanet, MSEd
   To: selectivemutismsupportgroup2@yahoogroups.com
   Sent: Monday, November 03, 2003 7:36 AM
   Subject: Re: [Selective Mutism Support Group] HELP!


   Sara,
   My daughter is also 4 and in her second year of pre-school.  Same problem
exists with her that you described with your daughter.  I am taking her to a
therapist who has recommended behavior therapy in combo with SSRI meds (prozac,
effexor, etc).  It kills me to put her on meds but the behavior therapy alone
has had little impact and she remains mute in school.
   Our battle has just begun so I also rely on this support group for advice.
   I am now in the process of going to the school district for help.  She was
evaluated by CPSE committe on pre-school special education.  She tested above
average academically but with no social skills! (in school that is:  at home she
is great) It is the law in NY State to give help to kids with special needs, so
look into it with your school district (I live downstate).  It will help if you
can have her formally diagnosed with SM by a psychologist/psychiatrist.
   Good Luck,
   Victoria


   Sara Risewick <sararise@...> wrote:
   Thanks....I appreciate the e-mail.  I am trying to stay positive, but am still
unsure of what to do.  I am not even sure that Katie (my daughter) knows what
she is feeling or why she doesn't want to talk....how will therapy help her?
   Sara
     ----- Original Message -----
     From: vonkoenig
     To: selectivemutismsupportgroup2@yahoogroups.com
     Sent: Sunday, October 26, 2003 10:46 AM
     Subject: Re: [Selective Mutism Support Group] HELP!


     getting her into therapy sooner rather than later is very important, the
longer you let it go the harder it gets to overcome.  you need to have a ton of
patience and the more people who let her know they love her if she talks or not
can be really helpful. and last but not least don't give up, change doctors if
you need to, fight the insurance company, stick up for her at school, whatever
you need to do good luck
       ----- Original Message -----
       From: sararisewick
       To: selectivemutismsupportgroup2@yahoogroups.com
       Sent: Saturday, October 25, 2003 11:28 AM
       Subject: [Selective Mutism Support Group] HELP!


       Hello, my daughter is four and a half and is in her second year of
       pre-school.  She was silent the entire last year and I thought it was
       just because she was shy.  I have since learned that she is
       selectivley mute.  She is now in a 4 day pre-K program and has still
       not spoken.  At home, and in small playgroups she is extremely
       verbal.  I am so frustrated by this.  I have read everything I can on
       selective mutism but find the advice for getting her to talk
       minimal.  The "wait and it will come" attitude is not working.  I try
       to minimize the anxiety at school and my hope is that she will open
       up.  I also have tried to get her to just say "hi" and "bye" to the
       kids and teachers, but so far that has not worked.  I need some
       advice from others as to what has helped their children.  I would
       appreciate any words of wisdom.
       Thanks,
       Sara Risewick
       Rochester, New York


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--- In selectivemutismsupportgroup2@yahoogroups.com, "vonkoenig"
<vonkoenig@n...> wrote:
> unfortunatly i've been told that "gifted" can mean that treatment
will be harder but my daughter was very withdrawn too and although so
far therapy hasn't gotten her talking she now readily makes eye
contact, nods, and sometimes laughs out loud  take advantage of any
help you can get and good luck

Hi,
One of my daughters was in the Gifted program. She didn't have SM,
but she did have social phobia and was very miserable at school much
of the time. The biggest problem that I can see with having anxiety,
or being gifted is that these kids and even adults tend to be
perfectionists. If you add anxiety to being gifted.. it would most
likely be very hard because they spend so much more time worrying
about doing everything right. I am sure you have already noticed
that, because that typically starts at a very young age. Hopefully,
the prozac will be helpful for that as well. I know that Paxil was
very helpful for my daughter. :-)
Carol

Carol Villa
www.empowercolorado.com
Listserv Manager/Resourse Director
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
www.selectivemutism.org
Executive Assistant
Parent Advisor

Victoria,

My daughter Kayla, now 10 was like your daughter, she was very
withdrawn, and didn't participate in anything. Through third grade,
she didn't even do a good percentage of her school work, she just sat
and often kept her head down. It is kind of amazing that she did
learn. She isn't gifted, but she does read well above grade level,
and does very well in most everything but math. Her teacher feels
like most of that is just confidence rather than ability.
Kayla is on an IEP, and qualifies as speech language. Probably due to
her anxiety and how that effects auditory processing, expressive and
receptive language. She also has mental health time, but she only has
a half hour a week. She spends that time with the school
psychologist, who she will speak to in a very soft voice. Most of the
time, they play a game and just talk. Kayla doesn't initiate any
conversation, but she will respond with answers.
I have been told many times by school professionals that they have
experience with treating SM. Because of the work that I have done
with the Selective Mutism Group, and knowing that I have had two
daughters with SM, the school district has called me to come and
consult with them for a few different students and to help them come
up with ideas.. Most of these professionals mean well, but I would
say that the majority of them still don't have a good knowledge of
anxiety and see these kids as manipulative.
I see having your daughter working with counselor as a good and bad
thing. Good if that person really does understand SM. It could be
very helpful for your daughter, and if your daughter likes this
person, it could give her another adult who she feels comfortable
with in the school. Sometimes that does happen working with out of
the classroom and in a comfortable setting. BAd if they don't really
understand SM/Anxiety and start trying to force your daughter to
speak.
I would gather up all the information I could about SM, and meet with
this person prior to working with your daugther. Come up with a plan
of treatment, and what you expect this person to do, and not to do. I
would also recommend a back and forth book with this person so that
you can keep track of what they are doing each time they meet.
Hopefully, the prozac will help with her anxiety.. I know that is did
with my daughter initially. You will have to keep us update :-)
Carol



Carol Villa
www.empowercolorado.com
Listserv Manager/Resource Director
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`
www.selectivemutism.org
Exectutive Assistant
Parent Advisor

Hi Theresa

I am one of those new people here ! I have two daughters diagnosed
with SM. One who has mostly overcome it.. and a 10 year old who still
has a ton of anxiety, and although is making wonderful progress, is
still mute the majority of time at school. I nine children, eight of
which have been diagnosed with some kind of anxiety disorder/other
things. I have also suffered from anxiety as far back as I can
remember.
I think that the behaviors that you are seeing are most likely more
from the feelings of anxiety that they deal with all day, more so
than not speaking all day. I would think that for most of our
children, there is a generalized anxiety component and that they
probably spend a lot of time without even realizing it, worrying.
I know that with Kayla, I can see a difference in her when she is
anxious. Anxiety is not a very good feeling, and causes agitation and
irritablility, along with many physical symptoms like tummy aches,
headaches, and probably just an overall feeling of discomfort.
Imagine trying to hold that in all day.. It is no wonder these kids
come home canky or irritable.

Kayla also comes home in a very bad mood sometimes, but sometimes she
comes home and talks and talks.. Unfortunately, Kayla's anxiety is
not limited to just being at school. Kayla has some days that she
will go and play outside, but most of the time she watches the kids
out the window, but can't get herself to go out and play because she
feels very anxious outside. Some of that is social phobia, where she
is afraid that people are looking at her and some of it is because
she doesn't know how to initiate/or just go out and start playing
with the other kids.  If the neighbors are not outside, sometimes she
will go out, sometimes not.
Does anyone else have these issues? I feel so bad for Kayla sometimes.
Carol

unfortunatly i've been told that "gifted" can mean that treatment will be harder
but my daughter was very withdrawn too and although so far therapy hasn't gotten
her talking she now readily makes eye contact, nods, and sometimes laughs out
loud  take advantage of any help you can get and good luck
   ----- Original Message -----
   From: Victoria Johanet, MSEd
   To: selectivemutismsupportgroup2@yahoogroups.com
   Sent: Thursday, November 06, 2003 8:17 PM
   Subject: [Selective Mutism Support Group] (unknown)


   Hi everybody,

   My school district has recommended counseling twice weekly for my pre-schooler
with SM.  In addition, her doctor just started her on prozac for anxiety. My
concern is that the mental health proff/counselor may not have enough experience
with SM.  My daughter not only does not speak, but she also withdraws completely
from any sort of social interaction/group activity in school.  The district said
they have experience with SM but not with SM with such severe withdrawl.  She
also tested extremely high on her cognitive tests (gifted).  Anyway, I am glad
that she qualifies for services.
   Any thoughts or advice would be appreciated.
   Victoria



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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Hi everybody,

My school district has recommended counseling twice weekly for my pre-schooler
with SM.  In addition, her doctor just started her on prozac for anxiety. My
concern is that the mental health proff/counselor may not have enough experience
with SM.  My daughter not only does not speak, but she also withdraws completely
from any sort of social interaction/group activity in school.  The district said
they have experience with SM but not with SM with such severe withdrawl.  She
also tested extremely high on her cognitive tests (gifted).  Anyway, I am glad
that she qualifies for services.
Any thoughts or advice would be appreciated.
Victoria



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Hi Theresa

YES, YES, YES
My daughter (just turned 10) comes home from school and often, when I
ask her how school was she says "I don't want to talk about it."
This can be even something as simple as me asking if she handed in
her hot dog money.  Also she will sometime talk non-stop from the
minute she gets in the door until she goes to bed. Sometimes I even
have to tell her to take a break from talking!  Imagine that.  I
believe it's because she's not talking at school, although she does
talk to all the children there.  She was home with her brother all
day on Tues. because of a snowstorm and I swear she talked all day
long.
They are certainly a mystery.

Julie