My son,Cade, is 5 1/2 years old and seems to meet all of the
criteria of a selectively mute child.  When he started pre-school
earlier this year he would not talk to anybody in his class
inculding his teacher.  The teacher approached me an explained that
she did not know how to get my son to talk.  She also had no idea of
his abilities, as far as academics, since he refused to answer any
questions.  I stumbled across the term "selective mutism" and began
to research it via the internet.  I was excited to finally figure
out why my son acted the way he did.  I printed out every article
that I could find on selective mutism and gave it to his teacher.
For the last 6 months she has done a wonderful job helping Cade feel
comfortable to talk in class. Now he is able to talk when he is
spoken to.  Now I am at a loss as to what the next step should be.
His teacher said he is academically equal to his peers but he is
socially behind.  Although he will speak in class and when out in
public, he shows little to no interest in playing with children his
age.  Do you have any suggestions on how I could work with him this
summer?  I presently meet with a play-group once a week and I have a
boy his age over to play with Cade once a week as well.  I am open
to suggestions.  Thanks in advance.

D.J.

Hi there
The site hasnot exactly died down ...just that I am busy with lots of
other stuff at the moment.  If you are in Toronto, I suggest you
contact Lin Gorenkoff who will link you up in her group.  (Lin's
email is lingor@...)

You don't need specific software although I have used one called
smart Alex who can record voices of kids.  Its available here
http://autismcoach.com/Smart%20Alex.htm

Good luck on your efforts with your daughter

Daniel

--- In selectivemutismsupportgroup2@yahoogroups.com, "Dan
<dontsendjunkmail@y...>" <dontsendjunkmail@y...> wrote:
> Just found this group but it looks like it has died down. I'm not a
> doctor but I'm someone who has dealt with social anxiety disorder
my
> whole life and had selective mutism as a child.
>
> I believe the reason your daughter wouldnt talk to the speech
> therapist is that she is being asked to directly face her fear.
> Direct exposure to a child's fear is dangerous with the potential
to
> make her problem worse. She needs to be exposed but in better
> controlled and gradual settings. I would suggest she get help
working
> on her speach from someone she is already very comfortable with. If
> her problem is severe maybe some type of computer speech software
or
> simuliar recording device where she can hear herself but doesnt
have
> to worry about anyone else listening to her. I wish I knew a
program
> to recommend but I've never used anything. Basicly I'd look for a
> software program that would talk to her, record and playback her
> words, and keep her interest.

Hello to you all,
I agree with your observation Dan. It is difficult to get a child
with Selective mutism to ''talk'' when the anxiety is overwhelming.
You have to face your fears. We have all heard that countless times.
It is true though that with a child who has extreme anxiety that they
have to confront the anxiety at its highest point to progress.I
remember that situation with my daughter on countless occasions.
Regarding this forum, it was started by Dr. Fung and myself. I too
would like to see it utilized to its full potential.

If anyone is in the Toronto area and would like to attend a support
group that I have on the last Tuesday of the month at Hospital for
Sick Children 6-8 p.m. in the Atrium room 7704 please e-mail and let
me know.
lingor@...

Just found this group but it looks like it has died down. I'm not a
doctor but I'm someone who has dealt with social anxiety disorder my
whole life and had selective mutism as a child.

I believe the reason your daughter wouldnt talk to the speech
therapist is that she is being asked to directly face her fear.
Direct exposure to a child's fear is dangerous with the potential to
make her problem worse. She needs to be exposed but in better
controlled and gradual settings. I would suggest she get help working
on her speach from someone she is already very comfortable with. If
her problem is severe maybe some type of computer speech software or
simuliar recording device where she can hear herself but doesnt have
to worry about anyone else listening to her. I wish I knew a program
to recommend but I've never used anything. Basicly I'd look for a
software program that would talk to her, record and playback her
words, and keep her interest.

Hi! there.  My daughter is 7 going to 8.  She have been having speech
problem eversince she was 4.  At that time when she attended nursery,
her teacher told me that she did not speak to her nor to any of her
friends.  I was worried so I brought her to see a doctor at the
polyclinic.  The doctor somehow told me that since she did speak a
few words at home probably she is just shy.  I did change her to
another school after that, academically she is doing better after a
few months but still she did not speak up in school.  She will only
speak up after alot of coaxing, persuasion or prompting.  Again I
bring her  to see a doctor at a polyclinic.  This time the doctor
referred us to hospital.  She was then asked to see a psycologist as
well speech therapist.  She did respond shyly with the psycologist
but nothing comes out from her mouth during the 8 sessions with the
speech therapist!  The result from the psycologist was that my
daughter's IQ was average but she may be having speech/language
problem. Nothing is mentioned about selective mutism.

The doctor than suggested that my daughter is deferred from entering
Primary 1 this year and to repeat Kindergarten 2 instead. I am really
confused because after reading some of your article I find that my
daughter do have some of the signs of selective mutism.  And where
can I get more information on PDD?

I am a reading specialist who worked with a second grade child who
hadn't spoken in school for 5 years.  This condition is called
selective mutism and is best treated at an early age.  Using behavior
mod, shaping, and stimulus fading, he overcame his silence in 7 mo.,
without the use of medication.  I found that school personnel and
doctors are not at all familiar with selective mutism. Just to let
you know that my web site is up at http://www.selective-mutism.com
and you and your child's school may find my manuscript to be very
useful. It includes quarterly goals, daily notations and plans with
strategies, activities, and resources.  The book has been approved by
several experts as a sound approach.  I have tried very hard to make
a guide available to parents and teachers who find themselves faced
with an extremely shy or selectively mute child so that knowledge and
an intervention can be successfully integrated into the school
setting, the very place the child spends the majority of their day
and fears the most. I hope I may be of help to some of the many
looking for a resource. All the best. Gail Kervatt

Hello to you all. I have spent the last hour reading all of your old
and new messages, trying to get information on SM. Until just a few
days ago I never knew of this. I can already tell that there is
limited resources on this topic.

I have a 7 yr old daughter who I believe could very well have this.
Ever since she was born I noticed something different about the way
she is when near others. With me she talks and even yells, but when
someone she does not know enters, forget it. At one point she was
standoffish with my parents but that has changed quite a bit in the
last two years, thankfully. I'd like to say that as a child I was
extremely shy and have always said that I felt this could be
hereditary because my mom is somewhat shy and hers was too. I
believe there is more to this than just being shy. She will not
speak to people no matter what I threaten her with. If I say I am
going to take something away from her she would take that punishment
before speaking to someone when I need her to. An example would be
her doctor. We have gone to the same baby doctor since her birth,
but still she will not speak to the doctor or nurse that know her,
and she knows them by name too. It is very frustrating.

I teach my child at home. So, I can't use her schooling to compare
with any of you, but I am sure that I see many similarities between
our children. The looking down instead into the eyes of someone who
talks to her, the speaking very low and quiet WHEN she is persuaded
to answer someone. We can go out with friends for hours at a time
and she will not speak. Should I be concerned? Should I be scared?
Am I being a bad mom because I did not know about SM until now? I
have been to book stores looking for books on shy kids and have
gotten nowhere. I will add that I suffer with my own anxiety
problems that I try hard to keep from my child and I enjoy speaking
to people now.

Any advice? Thanks, Deborah

Hi everyone, my daughter was diagnosed with SM four years ago after many hard
hours of research on my part.  She has been doing great but lately I notice she
is beginning to shy away from certain situations again (nothing like before but
enought to notice) she has been taking first prozac now paxil for 3.5 years I am
interested in finding out if anyone else has anything similar going on.  We live
in Boston and have been treated by Dr. Bruce Black the sm specialist who was
featured on dateline a few years back.  Thanks  Maureen


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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

hi, how long have you been silent?  My daughter is in 6th grade, she was
diagnosd 4 years ago has been doing great for a few years now but I am beginning
to see her regressing a bit again.
  darjer62 <no_reply@yahoogroups.com> wrote:hi there,i just joined.i am an adult
with sm


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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

--- lily9195 <no_reply@yahoogroups.com> wrote:
> Please join us at the Hospital for Sick Children in
> the Atrium room
> 7704.
> Please confirm a.s.a.p. via e-mail @
> lingor@...
>
> Thanks,Lin
>
>
I AM  TERRRIBLY SORRY I HAVENT GOTTEN BACK TO THE
SUPPORT GROUP BUT   MY COMPUTOR IS  DOWN I WILL
CONTINUE  TO GET  WITH YOU WHEN I AM BACK \

THANK YOU  FOR ANY  FUTURE SUPPORT SCHANN BLANKENSHIP

__________________________________________________
Do you Yahoo!?
Faith Hill - Exclusive Performances, Videos & More
http://faith.yahoo.com

--- In selectivemutismsupportgroup2@y..., RMOM2JANDK@A... wrote:
> Hello , my name is Renee. I have a five almost six year old
son ,Jared that
> has SM. It has been hard at times but it also has been great.
Jared is now
> in therapy. He is improving daily but still needs work but I know
it takes
> time but I wish for a miricle.
> Renee
> Kaitlyn 5/16/95
> Jared 5/21/96     hi there, i am so happy your son is getting the
therapy he needs.i am an adult with sm.i didnt get the help as a
child and i`m still suffering.this will take time,don`t try and rush
him,but dont give up.with help he will do it.my prayers are with your
little boy.

hi there,i just joined.i am an adult with sm

Dear Babera,
       I have sent you the letter that I also sent to Shelley, I hope it helps,
Also have you tried a homeopath, homeopathy has helped me a great deal.
>
> From: "cburgos" <cburgos@...>
> Date: Mon, 9 Sep 2002 23:04:25 -0500
> To: <selectivemutismsupportgroup2@yahoogroups.com>
> Subject: Re: [Selective Mutism Support Group] help with kindergarden testing
>
>

Please join us at the Hospital for Sick Children in the Atrium room
7704.
Please confirm a.s.a.p. via e-mail @ lingor@...

Thanks,Lin

Well I finally got to talk to the teacher about dd testing. They went
ahead and did it on monday. Of course she tested poorley, But the
speach therapist was there and informed the teacher what had gone on
last year and what they could do to help.. So some of the testing
they let dd point to things instead of expecting her to talk..
I also put in a call to dd'r Dr and told his nurse(she is really
good) what was going on or what wasn't going on.. DD has been on
zoloft for several months now with some inprovement, and next month
is when the Dr wanted me to start weaning her off of it.. Well now he
wants to up her dose a bit and see if that has any help..
Thank you for all the support.
shelly

i dont know about the school your daughter goes to but when my
daughter was in kindy her school would not allow me there for her
support. they said it encouraged her to do it. they also would not
allow me to test her at home and tape it and send in the video tape
which is actually what is recommended for sm. If they cant accomplish
the task in a one on one setting with the teacher then try taping. but
since none of these options were available to me i had to pull her out
of public school (they were failing her since they couldnt test her)
and put her in a psychoeducational school where they know how to deal
with anxiety disorders and other such difficulties. In the psycho
educational school they got such a giggle that she was failing k when
she was an extremely gifted child. she has been working hard and we
have put her on benadryl for her anxiety. she has gotten through kindy
and is now in first. speaking to a whole handful of people and trying
hard to expand that circle. talk to the school and see what you can
come up with together to help her. but keep in mind that they can not
bully you into pushing your daughter past her comfort point. you do
have options.
good luck
Kacey

Hi Shelley,
My six year old daughter Amanda has SM.I was just wondering what was going on in
your head,growing up with SM.Amanda doesn't tell me much about how she feels.She
does says she can't make new friends because she doesn't know what to say to
kids.We were on Prozac,very successfully for a year and a half and this summer 
her psychiatrist decided we should try to go off.She had a lot of problems
starting the new school year and we are back on again.Any input you could give
me about what you were feeling at that age would be greatly appreciated. Thanks
.
Sincerely,
Barbara
   ----- Original Message -----
   From: siane.whitton@...
   To: selectivemutismsupportgroup2@yahoogroups.com
   Sent: Sunday, September 08, 2002 10:22 AM
   Subject: Re: [Selective Mutism Support Group] help with kindergarden testing



   >
   > From: "weegirlsmommy" <shellyhollo@...>
   > Date: Sun, 08 Sep 2002 14:47:11 -0000
   > To: selectivemutismsupportgroup2@yahoogroups.com
   > Subject: [Selective Mutism Support Group] help with kindergarden testing
   >
   > Dear Shelly,
     I have sm although I am now 31. I had no help at all growing up, I am
married now with 4 children and still get anxiety in university. I think it
would be a good idea to attend preschool with your daughter if possible as I
believe this would improve her confidence, and that is exactly what she needs.
Please feel free to contact me any time.
                  Emma


   [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]


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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

>
> From: "weegirlsmommy" <shellyhollo@...>
> Date: Sun, 08 Sep 2002 14:47:11 -0000
> To: selectivemutismsupportgroup2@yahoogroups.com
> Subject: [Selective Mutism Support Group] help with kindergarden testing
>
> Dear Shelly,
   I have sm although I am now 31. I had no help at all growing up, I am married
now with 4 children and still get anxiety in university. I think it would be a
good idea to attend preschool with your daughter if possible as I believe this
would improve her confidence, and that is exactly what she needs. Please feel
free to contact me any time.
                Emma


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Hello, My dd is now in kindergarden.. over the summer she has made
some progress. She has started talking to more of the family and a
few friends and some of her friends that she hasn't talked to.. Now
we are in kindergarden and faced with a new problem.. They do testing
to see where the kids are, and what they need to work on.. In
preschool they did this wtih the help of a friend, the kindergarden
teacher really does not want to do this.. Is there a way I can help
my dd get enough confadince(sp sorry) that maybe she would talk if I
was there or with a adult that she is comfortable with?? I did print
out the paper for the teacher, so she does have an idea about whats
going on.. but where do we go from here?? thank you
shelly

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Best regards

I am a reading specialist who worked with a second grade child who
hadn't spoken in school for 5 years.  This condition is called
selective mutism and is best treated at an early age.  Using behavior
mod, shaping, and stimulus fading, he overcame his silence in 7 mo.,
without the use of medication.  I found that school personnel and
doctors are not at all familiar with selective mutism. Just to let
you know that my web site is up at http://www.selective-mutism.com
and you and your child's school may find my manuscript to be very
useful. It includes quarterly goals, daily notations and plans with
strategies, activities, and resources.  The book has been approved by
several experts as a sound approach.  I have tried very hard to make
a guide available to parents and teachers who find themselves faced
with an extremely shy or selectively mute child so that knowledge and
an intervention can be successfully integrated into the school
setting, the very place the child spends the majority of their day
and fears the most. I hope I may be of help to some of the many
looking for a resource. All the best. Gail Kervatt

Would anyone like to share their plans for the summer, suggestions
for coping with an S.M. child? I am sure there are other members who
might like some ''tips'' re: things that have worked and have not
worked.

Lin

Our final meeting for the school year will be on Tuesday June
25th,2002,6-8 p.m. room 7704 the Atrium Hospital for Sick Children.
Please confirm if you will be attending.E-mail me at lingor
@pathcom.com.

As always there is no fee for the meetings and refreshments are
provided.

Lin

In a message dated 5/19/02 4:18:07 AM Pacific Daylight Time,
cbtile@... writes:


> I live in Lincoln County Tennessee. Any
> suggestions are welcome

may i suggest that you contact the school resource, or counselor at the
school.  they should have referrals to send you to.

i also know that aol has a system that allows for aol members to create their
own chat room.   if you like you could set up a chat room for parents or
teens.  find a time so that others could join.  post the time and date here.
im sure others would like some live chat.











[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Is there any kind of group in Tennessee? Is there a safe chat room
for children with SM to help them understand they are not alone? I
want to help my 13 year old daughter, but she will not talk to me
about anything personal. She has no friends, and as a Teen is feeling
quite frusterated with herself. I have asked the local mental health
center for years to have some sort of group for these children, but
they just don't do it. I live in Lincoln County Tennessee. Any
suggestions are welcome. Thank you!

Hello , my name is Renee. I have a five almost six year old son ,Jared that
has SM. It has been hard at times but it also has been great.  Jared is now
in therapy. He is improving daily but still needs work but I know it takes
time but I wish for a miricle.
Renee
Kaitlyn 5/16/95
Jared 5/21/96

I am soo pleased to annouce that after almost 5 months in the
p-sychoeducational school my daughter is whispering to half her class
  and speaking aloud to her teacher during testing
she still is not answering out to the whole class but she is
responding well.
I knew that if we held out and treated the situation carefully   she
could do it without medication.
every time she comes home with her folder reporting that she talked
she comes in with a big smile.  she is soo excited every time she can
battle it and speak to a new person
even if it is only 1 at a time i feel this is teaching her a good
lesson for life for how to reach her goals. thank you all for being
there for us.
~Kacey~

I don't know very many moms who would be thrilled when their childs
teacher says that your child had to be told to be quite at quite
time. Well thats what happened yesterday.. And the teachers were also
pretty excited, and made sure that I knew what had happened and that
I probably should write it in her baby book.. I am not fond of using
medication, but it is having the right effect. I can't wait to tell
her Doc..
Shelly

A reminder that our April meeting is on Tuesday the  30th at Hospital
for Sick Kids. Atrium room 7704. 6-8 P.M.
E-mail me @ lingor@... to confirm your attendance. We will
have a child psychiatrist addressing the group.
Lin