Please be careful with pushing your daughter to speak. Doing this can
harm her more than help according to the medical information I have
read on Selective Mutism. When my daughter was 4, there was nothing
you could offer her to make her speak. It was something she had no
control over. I feel guilty because I did try to make her speak and
to top it off, I felt even worse explaining to her that others find it
rude if you don't respond. What pressure I placed on this little
child. It made her muteness worse. At that time I did not know what
I was dealing with. I am grateful for the Play therapist that
recognized what she was seeing in my daughter and is referring us to a
professional in that area. I kept calling and asking hospitals etc,
for help. I finally found a hospital that has a counseling area that
deals with this area so they say.

I live in the "Much lower land" more like in America. I know this
list is for Canada, but I was desperate when I found this group and
the Selective mutism support group. I probably will not be allowed on
this list now that they know, but if it is worth it, please continue
to seek help and don't push your precious baby to speak.

Blessings,
Giz

--- In selectivemutismsupportgroup2@yahoogroups.com, "nwong9999"
<nwong9999@y...> wrote:
>
> Yes, she is Asian. My daughter just started to interact with her
> cousin, who is the same age as her and also a couple of really close
> friend's kids this summer. This summer was the first time ever I
> heard her tell another child to do something! I was so happy, felt
> like I won a million dollars! As for adults, it's mostly myself,
> her Daddy, Grandma (who babysits her part-time) and her speech
> therapist. That's about it.
>
> Lucky for her, her preschool is excellent. The teacher is fabulous
> and has to trying to break her into speaking. The teacher does make
> her say thank you, and repeat things after her. But she would never
> just ask for something on her own. The teacher would notice that
> she wants something and would ask her if that's what it is and my
> daughter would have to ask for it. As for the kids, we have been
> very lucky so far. There are a couple of kids that will come up to
> her to play and she would play with them but she would never speak.
>
> I also know she has attachment issues. We try to put her social
> activities but they have to include the parents otherwise she is so
> traumatize if she is left by herself.
>
> Are you by chance located in the lower mainland? Have you had
> encounters with "bad" counsellors? I've been looking and there
> doesn't seem to be too many who has had dealing with SM. Guess I
> have to keep on looking and wait for the diagnosis.
>
>
> --- In selectivemutismsupportgroup2@yahoogroups.com, Gizmo
> <gizmo@a...> wrote:
> > Nancy,
> >
> > Is your daughter Asian? My daughter is too and she has just been
> > diagnosed with SM. My daughter is Adopted though. My daughter
> does not
> > even speak to my own family members such as Sisters and her
> cousins.
> > She does speak to one of her grandmothers and to one Aunt. She
> speaks
> > only with her close peers but this did not start until she was in
> > Kindergarten. In Pre-school, she was all to herself and very
> quiet.
> > Once, in pre-school, her friendship was rejected by another little
> girl,
> > and my daughter cried for weeks until we confronted the school
> about
> > what happened. The school made the little girl apologize and then
> my
> > daughter was okay again but still did not speak. In kindergarten,
> it
> > took her months to adjust but after she did, she complained her
> stomach
> > hurt right before we went to school every day. She picks at her
> sores
> > or her fingers when she is in a stressful situation where she was
> > expected to socialize and talk with others. All her toddlerhood,
> she
> > sat out and just clung to me and played with my buttons and
> cried "can
> > we go home." I hurt so bad inside and wanted her to have
> friends. Now
> > she is 7.5 years old and after attending a Play therapist for 6
> months,
> > they came to the conclusion along with other counselors watching
> her on
> > monitor, that she had Attachment issues and Selective Mutism. We
> are
> > working on the SM first and think it will help with the RAD. I
> too, am
> > in the process of searching for a counselor. Continue to talk and
> > research. It will help if you are depressed having to deal with
> this
> > condition.
> >
> > G.B.,
> > Giz
> >
> > nwong9999 wrote:
> >
> > >My daughter is currently on the waiting list to be assess whether
> > >she is selective mutism. Her doctor thinks that's what she has.
> > >She goes to preschool and her teacher is quite concern for her
> due
> > >to her behavior. She does not speak in school or interact with
> > >other kids. She could just sit or stand in the classroom and
> just
> > >stare for long periods of time. Luckily, her teacher is
> wonderful
> > >and includes her in all the activities. Her home she is a
> > >completely different child, interacts, socialable, speaks, and
> > >acting like a normal 4 year old. She does go to speech therapy
> once
> > >a week and has been assessed at being about 12 months delay in
> her
> > >speech.
> > >
> > >I've been trying to find any sort of support group in the
> vancouver
> > >lower mainland. Does anybody know if such a group exist? Also,
> > >does anybody have any ideas which professionals and their names
> who
> > >specializes in this area?
> > >
> > >Thanks for any information that anyone can provide.
> > >
> > >Nancy
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >Yahoo! Groups Links
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >