We are dealing with SM of our daughter since she was 3. We used play
therapy when she was 4 for 6 month. She liked the therapist, and
started to talk to her after 3 month, but refuse to talk with her
about school situations. After 6 month she started to whisper to the
teacher, and it was a big progress. We started to bring friends from
school to play dates at out house as often as possible. At home she
learned to talk to them. We also figured out that she talk more in
the playground then in the class, so every day I spent an hour after
school with her in the school playground, there were always other
kids there. In the end of last year she was talking with the
teachers but didn't admit it. She said she is whispering hard.
My point is that you have to observe your child and try to use her
strong points and go with her. We made huge progress with her, but
she is still different. She needs more time in new situations, and
don't talk to kids parents or new kids. We hope we are on the way
out of it. Cheer up and be patient. Irit

--- In selectivemutismsupportgroup2@yahoogroups.com, "Victoria
Johanet, MSEd" <victoriajo23@y...> wrote:
> Hi, I read your email and can totally relate to your story.
> I find that dealing with my own husband is frustrating. I started
taking her to a child psycologist who is an expert on SM. My
husband is opposed to this because he thinks there is nothing wrong
with her. Thats because he sees how talkative and normal she is at
home. He doesnt see her in preschool or birthday parties the way I
do.
> It's frustrating to deal with her problems all on my own. But I
am going to continue to get her the help she needs. She is in her
last year of preschool (4 years) and I want her well for
kindergarten. That is my goal
> Good Luck with your daughter
> Victoria
>
> megjosetti <mjosetti@m...> wrote:
> Hi everyone
>
> I am almost in tears because I have found this support group. My
> daughter is 5 1/2. I always said that she turned my world upside
> down when she was born. She was colicky and never wanted to
sleep.
> I could go on and on telling the background but my point is that I
> always protected and catered to her needs and kept her in a very
> safe environment so the signs of SM were not as apparent to me
until
> last year when she started preschool (even though I think the
> tendancy was always there) We moved and she was not happy about
> that and when she started preschool she never spoke. She only
> attended for 2 months when we moved again (my husband and I
> seperated for a short time.) I decided not to put her in a new
> preschool and I devoted the spring/summer to getting our family
back
> together and we started to meet neighbors and I was seeing
progress.
> Amanda was playing with the neighbors but took a couple months
> before she started talking to them. Her preschool teacher told me
> about SM and then I took her for her yearly check up and the
Doctor
> also felt that there was a problem. With the stress in our family
> this past year I still thought I could fix the situation myself.
> Our family was back together and she had her Dad back who she was
> very close to. I did not research SM this summer as much as I now
> realize I should have but when school started 2 weeks ago I knew
our
> problems where not over. Which brings me to my present situation
> and request for advice. Amanda has been in school for 2 weeks and
> has not spoken to the teacher or the kids. I have been in
constant
> contact with the teacher and have forwarded extensive info on SM.
> She has not responded to the info and in my opinion is handling my
> daughter as a child with a behaviour problem - sort of like the
> stronger person will win. She has no idea that she will not win
the
> battle and she will negatively affect my daghter in the process.
> This week when I picked my daughter up one day she was not out at
> pick up. Another teacher told me that the teacher had kept her
back
> to "work" with her. about 5 minutes later out comes my daughter
> with the teacher and my daughter was sobbing uncontrollably. As a
> mother I knew the crying had been going on for some time. The
> teacher told me she was trying to get Amanda to put her papers in
> her bag - this is a major issue with the teacher. I was upset but
> am trying to work with the system. I told the teacher I was
> thrilled she would spend indivual time with my daughter but in
that
> context she was doing more harm than good. She did not keep her
> back again. I have had two school parents address me today with
> concerns for Amanda, worried that she might not be in the right
> class. Then when I dropped her off another little girl pointed to
> my daughter and said "she's a gumpy butt", the teacher's assistant
> did nothing and another parent reprimanded the child. I was
finally
> angry and after dropping my son off at preschool I called the
school
> and said I was on my way to speak to the principal and if she was
> not available that they should have my daughter in the office
> because I was taking her home. The principal was there and
> waiting. She had never heard of SM (even though I sent info in
and
> the principal has been monitoring the situation. She felt that
the
> teacher was not convinced that Amanda had this condition. She
stood
> by her teacher as being the best of the three teachers to deal
with
> Amanda and scheduled a "Team Meeting" for monday with me, the
> teacher, the principal, school councelor and school psycologist.
> Not only do I feel outnumbered but my husband will be out of town
so
> cannot be there. I also find it amazing that after a child has
> stood motionless in the class room for two weeks without an ounce
of
> progress that the school would not be calling me. In addition
they
> have "assigned" another little girl to help with Amanda and
> encourage her. Is this fair to a 5 year old just starting school
> herself? luckily I have met the little girls parents, ironically
> they are both psycologists and run a group home - we have gotten
the
> girls together to play and although Amanda has not spoken to them
> she played great and they were wonderful. Any words of advice in
> dealin with the school. I want to make a difference for my
dughter
> and any future child at this school that may have this problem. I
> also have not found a therapist in the area that is familiar with
> SM - I live in Delaware. In closing, I am sure this sounds
familiar
> but when in a comfortable environment my daughter is outgoing,
> funloving, mature and very bright. It is so hard to see a child
> with so much potential suffering with this anxiety. How can this
> town and this school district not know about this problem. There
is
> a downs syndrome boy in the class that they are accomidating yet
the
> principal told me that they are not equipped to deal with my
> dughters problem. Sorry this was so long but I have 5 1/2 years
of
> dealing with this alone so I am spilling my guts. I look forward
to
> responses
>
>
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