Hello, I was happy to find this group. Suicide or thinking about it was never
much of a problem until this last year. My doctors changed some medicines too
quickly that didn't mix well and over a couple of months, it sent me over the
proverbial" edge". I remember acting out how I might do it, among other things.
Finally, one night, I must have been the worse. I went to one of my AA meetings
and announced what I wanted to do and even told them how I was going to do it,
all in a real fog. A few of my friends wouldn't let me go home and I spent 3 or
4 days in the psych ward.
I'm feeling better now but am finding that having once accepted that I could do
it haunts me. Now and then I get those feelings back about how it felt to have
almost made the decision to do it.
I'm glad I didn't. I think this will continue to unpack as a true gift to make
my life bigger. It's not something that's easily discussed with many people.