Gay. So what?
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Friday July 6 2007 15:19 IST
Priya M Menon

In June 2007, Baljit Kaur and Rajwinder Kaur of Amritsar made
headlines when they tied the knot despite violent opposition from
their families. "We love each other and will die for each other," the
women declared. They've threatened to run away to Canada if the
families continued to be difficult and in the meanwhile, plan to
start a family of their own — by adopting a child.

Baljit and Rajwinder are yet another example of a lesbian couple who
have dared to defy social norms and a legal system that criminalises
homosexuality. In 2006, Wetka Polang (30) and Melka Nilsa (22) of
Orissa actually managed to get their union blessed by their
community. Wetka and Melka, day labourers who belong to the Kandha
tribe, got married in a traditional ceremony presided over by a
Kandha priest after paying a fine — a barrel of country liquor, a
pair of oxen, a sack of rice — and hosted a family feast.

"They wanted to prove that they can live without the help of men.
They also love each other very much. So we decided to forgive them,"
said village elder Melka Powla.

These are rare yet defining instances of defiance in a society which
still hesitates to talk about sex and where homosexuality is a crime,
courtesy Section 377 of the Indian Penal Code. In a social setting
where same sex love often leads to social ostracisation, police
harassment and even suicide, members of this hitherto silent
community are now making their voice heard.

Last year, Prince Manvendra Singh Gohil of Rajpipla, Gujarat, drew
international media attention when he publicly declared himself to be
a homosexual. "I wanted to open a Pandora's box," says
Manvendra. "That could have happened if only there is some
controversy. I thought an Indian prince openly talking about his
sexuality would make news." And it did. His effigy was burnt and the
royal family threatened to disinherit him. Though it was legally
impossible, the resulting controversy triggered national debate on
homosexuals and their rights.

Interestingly, it is the emergence of AIDS in India that has enabled
public discussion about homosexuality. "The HIV/AIDS issue has
flushed homosexuality out of the closet," says Sunil Menon, founder
member of Sahodaran, an organisation in Chennai that works with MSM
(men having sex with men).

Aditya Bondopadhyay, legal advisor to Naz Foundation International
(NFI), a London-based NGO that helps set up and support community-
based NGO's working with MSM, agrees. "It was recognised by the state
that HIV is a problem and MSM are a high-risk group," he
says. "Groups initially started low-key, just spreading awareness,
but soon realised that they cannot do it without addressing rights
issues. For instance, if someone wanted to visit a drop-in centre,
they had to be confident that police would not haul them up."

This does not mean that there has been no backlash. In July 2001,
four HIV/ AIDS prevention workers from Naz Foundation and Bharosa
Trust, Lucknow, who work with MSM groups were arrested by the Lucknow
police, sparking off a controversy. "In a way it is a milestone that
helped the movement in India as it motivated all groups in India to
come out and protest; it proved that Section 377 is a law that needs
to go," says Aditya.

The Internet is another factor that has helped fuel change. "There
are e-groups and discussion forums," says Aditya. "Gay Bombay, a
yahoo group, is now the largest group with over 16,000 members from
India. This helps rope in professionals like doctors and lawyers from
within the community."

Today, all over India, there are a number of groups that offer
support, counselling and also focus on rights issues. But "coming
out" is still a sensitive issue which can have far-reaching
consequences.

First of all, you have to come to terms with your own sexuality. "You
need to have access to information and interact with other people
with similar feelings and behaviour," says Sunil. "Most people know
they are gay but suppress it for they will not get any support from
the family."

The burden of living a lie can take its toll. "I did get married,"
says Prince Manvendra. "I thought I could become straight, that was
my understanding of my sexuality in those days." The marriage didn't
last and they divorced soon after.

In 1997, he established the Lakshya Trust, a community-based
organisation, which has been working in the HIV/AIDS sector since
2001. In 2002, Manvendra suffered a nervous breakdown. "The burden of
lying to everyone was too much," says Manvendra. "I was hospitalised
and first spoke about my sexuality to my psychiatrist who told my
parents."

Coming out publicly can change your life forever. For Dr Hoshang
Merchant, who teaches at the Hyderabad Central University (HCU), it
was loss of his inheritance. "But I got my freedom," he says. His
open sexual orientation got him "kicked out of 17 houses in 11
months." "I was also kicked out of my job as a Reader at Pune
University when they realised I am gay; in seven years I changed 11
jobs," says Hoshang, editor of Yaraana, the first anothology of Gay
Indian Literature published by Penguin in 1999.

That's why coming out is advisable only if you are independent,
especially financially. All the more so if you are a woman. "Where is
a girl to go if she is disowned by her family?" asks Malobika,
founder-member of Sappho, which was established in 1999 as an
emotional support provider group for lesbians. "Coming out is still a
very big deal." In West Bengal, a young girl was tonsured recently
for displaying "man-like" behaviour.

Sappho, which runs helplines from 10 am to 9 pm, has more than 200
members now. "Many of the spouses of women who contact us have no
idea of their dual life," she says. "Some of them just want our help
and stay in touch over the phone or by mail as they say their
husbands are wonderful and don't want to leave them."

"In India it is fine to be gay or lesbian as long as you don't ask
for identity, validation and legitimacy," says leading gay activist
Ashok Row Kavi. "It is ok to be a gay man as long as it doesn't
threaten the family."

He established the Humsafar Trust in Mumbai in April 1994 to reach
out to the gay population. He also published the Bombay Dost, one of
the oldest gay publications in Mumbai, to serve as a platform for
sexual minorities. Though it wound up a few years ago, Kavi is
thinking of reviving it, maybe make it web-based with an annual print
edition.

According to Sylvester Merchant of Lakshya Trust, even today,
discrimination is largely due to ignorance. "For instance, many
people think all homosexuals are pedophiles," he says.

But attitudes to sex and sexuality are changing. Kavi cites the
example of a young boy who likes to dress up like a girl. "It is
really admirable how his mother is handling it," says Kavi. "She has
explained his behaviour to the school which is also sensitised and
learning to cope."

Even on the professional front, policies are becoming more
liberal. "With MNCs coming to India and Indian companies becoming
multinationals, today discrimination cannot be made on grounds of
sexuality," says Aditya.

Hoshang teaches a pioneering gay literature course in HCU, the second
such course in India. The First Annual LGBT (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual,
Transgender) film festival organised recently in Kolkata by Sappho
for Equality and Pratyay Gender Trust, was a huge success.

Says Malobika: "We got an irate father-in-law who was very upset
about his daughter-in-law being a lesbian. Though he was a doctor, he
thought it was a disease. We counselled him, and when he left two and
a half hours later, it was after donating Rs 200. The woman continues
to stay with her in-laws."

A thorn in the flesh

Section 377 of the IPC states that: "Whoever voluntarily has carnal
intercourse against the order of nature, with any man, woman, or
animal shall be punishable with imprisonment for life or with
imprisonment of either description for a term which may extend to ten
years and shall also be liable to fine."

This law, which was first passed in England in the 16th century to
criminalise homosexuality, was adopted by the British for India, when
the Indian Penal Code was enacted in 1860. It was repealed in England
in 1967 but is still in effect in India though it there is an ongoing
campaign to repeal it. The Law Commission of India, in its 172nd
report (on review of rape laws), recommended its repeal.

In September 2006, more than 100 celebrities like Nobel laureate
economist Amartya Sen, Booker prizewinner Arundhati Roy and writer
Vikram Seth signed an open letter protesting against Section 377. The
letter said the law had been used to "systematically persecute,
blackmail, arrest and terrorise sexual minorities."