Hello all,

I've always been a lurker, never a poster, but appreciate and have
looked to the forum for words of encouragement as well as advice.
I'm a 36 year old male with moderate to severe Rosacea, but in the
last couple of years I've experienced flushing that can last 3 days
or so and worry that the worst is ahead of me with this affliction.
Having a Celtic background doesn't help and living in Las Vegas
where one of my major triggers happens to be the sun creates all
sorts of self esteem issues with my arch nemesis, the mirror. A few
years ago I had 8 sessions of IPL and to be honest the results were
marginal and this has made me skeptical of most procedures. If I
knew now what I didn't know then, I wouldn't have gone in that
directions as it was the equivalency of throwing money out the
window. I could blame it on many factors, but the past is the past
and I'm now trying to be constructive by making sure anything I do
on the laser side in the future will be an educated and thoroughly
researched decision.

I probably have a lot of the same routines as those on the forum;
careful cleansing, avoiding spicy foods, trying every product in
existence that are supposed to help, but which only turn out to be a
disappointment. It wrecks havoc with the self esteem and dangles a
carrot of hope only for it to be taken away.

Anyway, we are what we are and under the circumstances, we can only
hope we have more good days than bad. My point of posting this was
to try to understand why something like this can have so much power
over our lives. I was watching the Discovery channel and there was a
program dealing with people that have gone through extreme
conditions; a police officer who became a burn victim, a woman who
had no eye, just a socket......you know, extreme mountains to climb
and they've all done brilliantly to overcome the cards that life has
dealt them; and here I am with a red face, spider veins and I'm
trying to disappear from the world. Guilt is a powerful thing and
although we have to walk in each others shoes to understand the
psychological reasons for how we become what we are, the appropriate
word for how I was feeling after watching that show was ashamed. I'm
not trying to diminish the pain we go through, because it's real,
it's overwhelming, but it's tragic that we find ourselves the victim
of our own insecurities. Something like Rosacea shouldn't be allowed
to have this amount of control, yet does. I, over the years, have
found myself becoming less and less social, finding comfort in my
own world rather than venturing into new territories. It's a shame,
because the heart is willing, but the insecurities are far too
overpowering. Everything seems to be about baby steps for me, and I
find my self confidence completely dependent on what reflection I'll
see when I wake up. Wish it wasn't so; wish I could wave a magic
wand to change that, but no matter how much I try to fool myself, I
know I've got huge obstacles to overcome. In closing, I'll continue
to be encouraged by those that contribute insight with their
feedback, but more so, I just wanted to thank everyone for providing
their time in collectively helping the group.

Best Wishes

LTM