Well, today was a serious lesson in self-discipline, and how little of it I have

:) I had booked a new client for 10:30am. Thanks to a problem at my son's school

he didn't go in today, so I was pretty cranky and didn't get everything done

that I needed done before I left to see my client (like eat breakfast). Found

her easily enough and got there on time. Dealt with the usual pleasantries and

got set up. But it was when I started taking the case history that the trouble

started, because she started to unload. And I mean really unload. Luckily I

didn't have any other clients booked in today, because she talked for 4 straight

hours! I now know everything about her children and step-children, her mother,

her father, her husband's family, all the places she's lived in the last 20

years, her former job.........you name it, I was told it. I didn't actually get

near her feet at all.



And then it occurred to me. With all this talk about how we're reflexologists

and feet (or hands or ears) is what we do, we're also listeners. Sounding

boards. Someone to bounce off of. And let's be honest, I still picked up

everything I needed for the case history from our extended counselling session,

and a lot more besides. So I have a lot to work with. Happily she paid me for

today (although not for 4 hours but hey ho) and she's booked in for next week.



Hopefully we'll get to her feet next time! :)



Lynne



[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Hi Lynne

It's always a tricky one.  If it's of any help in the future I use a little

ruse, when people are whittering on (offloading) I say something like, "I would

love to hear everything you say as getting it all out is a good thing, but why

don't we just make a start on your feet at the same time, otherwise we're going

to run out of time."  Once you actually touch them, that may well take the place

of the need to offload, as their body will do the releasing, not their mind. The

reflexology will take over.



Also, just a little heads up - don't think it's all over.  You may need to

remind her at the beginning of the next session that you have a client to follow

on her treatment (whether true or not) and that you won't be able to spend as

long as last time.



Hope that helps

Kay



   ----- Original Message -----

   From: Lynne Morgan

   To: reflexologycommunity@yahoogroups.com

   Sent: Thursday, May 15, 2008 3:36 PM

   Subject: [Reflexology Community ] Self-discipline





   Well, today was a serious lesson in self-discipline, and how little of it I

have :) I had booked a new client for 10:30am. Thanks to a problem at my son's

school he didn't go in today, so I was pretty cranky and didn't get everything

done that I needed done before I left to see my client (like eat breakfast).

Found her easily enough and got there on time. Dealt with the usual pleasantries

and got set up. But it was when I started taking the case history that the

trouble started, because she started to unload. And I mean really unload.

Luckily I didn't have any other clients booked in today, because she talked for

4 straight hours! I now know everything about her children and step-children,

her mother, her father, her husband's family, all the places she's lived in the

last 20 years, her former job.........you name it, I was told it. I didn't

actually get near her feet at all.



   And then it occurred to me. With all this talk about how we're reflexologists

and feet (or hands or ears) is what we do, we're also listeners. Sounding

boards. Someone to bounce off of. And let's be honest, I still picked up

everything I needed for the case history from our extended counselling session,

and a lot more besides. So I have a lot to work with. Happily she paid me for

today (although not for 4 hours but hey ho) and she's booked in for next week.



   Hopefully we'll get to her feet next time! :)



   Lynne



   [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]











[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Oh don't Kay. I kept looking at the couch and thinking, we should be doing this

while you're on there! Trouble is, there was no natural break and no

interruption point. She just talked and talked, bless her. And like a daft

person (!) I let her, rather than saying something in the "tell you what" or

"sorry to interrupt" line, which I know she wouldn't have minded. Grrrrrrrrrrr -

lol. I'm pretty certain she'd happily talk for England at any future

appointments, so I already dropped an extra appointment into my calendar as soon

as I'd got home.



I think what bothered me most was that I hadn't had breakfast and that by the

time I got home and could eat, it was 2:45! Mea culpa. Thanks for the help and

support, as always. :)



Lynne

xx





   From: kay sainsbury

   Sent: Thursday, May 15, 2008 4:06 PM

   It's always a tricky one. If it's of any help in the future I use a little

ruse, when people are whittering on (offloading) I say something like, "I would

love to hear everything you say as getting it all out is a good thing, but why

don't we just make a start on your feet at the same time, otherwise we're going

to run out of time." Once you actually touch them, that may well take the place

of the need to offload, as their body will do the releasing, not their mind. The

reflexology will take over.



   Also, just a little heads up - don't think it's all over. You may need to

remind her at the beginning of the next session that you have a client to follow

on her treatment (whether true or not) and that you won't be able to spend as

long as last time.





[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

I am with Lynne, Kay. It isn't always easy to find a break. They usually cool

off next session

or you may a bigger problem.



Kevin Kunz







--- In reflexologycommunity@yahoogroups.com, "Lynne Morgan" <LynneSMorgan@...>

wrote:

>

> Oh don't Kay. I kept looking at the couch and thinking, we should be doing

this while

you're on there! Trouble is, there was no natural break and no interruption

point. She just

talked and talked, bless her. And like a daft person (!) I let her, rather than

saying

something in the "tell you what" or "sorry to interrupt" line, which I know she

wouldn't

have minded. Grrrrrrrrrrr - lol. I'm pretty certain she'd happily talk for

England at any

future appointments, so I already dropped an extra appointment into my calendar

as soon

as I'd got home.

>

> I think what bothered me most was that I hadn't had breakfast and that by the

time I got

home and could eat, it was 2:45! Mea culpa. Thanks for the help and support, as

always. :)

>

> Lynne

> xx

>

>

>   From: kay sainsbury

>   Sent: Thursday, May 15, 2008 4:06 PM

>   It's always a tricky one. If it's of any help in the future I use a little

ruse, when people

are whittering on (offloading) I say something like, "I would love to hear

everything you

say as getting it all out is a good thing, but why don't we just make a start on

your feet at

the same time, otherwise we're going to run out of time." Once you actually

touch them,

that may well take the place of the need to offload, as their body will do the

releasing, not

their mind. The reflexology will take over.

>

>   Also, just a little heads up - don't think it's all over. You may need to

remind her at the

beginning of the next session that you have a client to follow on her treatment

(whether

true or not) and that you won't be able to spend as long as last time.

>

>

> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

>

Hi Lynne, Oh I've been in a similar situation.  People like to tell me

all their problems on a normal day but then add reflexology and whammo,

I'm stuck lol!   It's hard to interrupt sometimes but I try just holding

up my hand and saying something like "hold that thought and let's get

you started before we run out of time".  Once they are on the table they

can talk as much as they want and I can work on their feet.  If you can

get them quiet for a moment, it sometimes helps to work on the solar

plexus and have them do deep breathing as you press in and out.

Usually about half way through they relax and get quieter.  As a side

note, I bet people who talk non-stop like that are used to being

interrupted anyway!



Joanie



--- In reflexologycommunity@yahoogroups.com, "Lynne Morgan"

<LynneSMorgan@...> wrote:

>

> Oh don't Kay. I kept looking at the couch and thinking, we should be

doing this while you're on there! Trouble is, there was no natural break

and no interruption point. She just talked and talked, bless her. And

like a daft person (!) I let her, rather than saying something in the

"tell you what" or "sorry to interrupt" line, which I know she wouldn't

have minded. Grrrrrrrrrrr - lol. I'm pretty certain she'd happily talk

for England at any future appointments, so I already dropped an extra

appointment into my calendar as soon as I'd got home.

>

> I think what bothered me most was that I hadn't had breakfast and that

by the time I got home and could eat, it was 2:45! Mea culpa. Thanks for

the help and support, as always. :)

>

> Lynne

> xx

>

>

>   From: kay sainsbury

>   Sent: Thursday, May 15, 2008 4:06 PM

>   It's always a tricky one. If it's of any help in the future I use a

little ruse, when people are whittering on (offloading) I say something

like, "I would love to hear everything you say as getting it all out is

a good thing, but why don't we just make a start on your feet at the

same time, otherwise we're going to run out of time." Once you actually

touch them, that may well take the place of the need to offload, as

their body will do the releasing, not their mind. The reflexology will

take over.

>

>   Also, just a little heads up - don't think it's all over. You may

need to remind her at the beginning of the next session that you have a

client to follow on her treatment (whether true or not) and that you

won't be able to spend as long as last time.

>

>

> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

>

Wow, Lynne, four hours that is patience! Yes we are sounding boards, but

from my perspective I also run a business and must maintain boundaries when

I work. I have a good therapist/ counsellor I can refer people too. Maybe

there is someone who you can do referrals with?



Kind Regards,

Jackie









on 5/16/08 02:36, Lynne Morgan at LynneSMorgan@... wrote:



Well, today was a serious lesson in self-discipline, and how little of it I

have :) I had booked a new client for 10:30am. Thanks to a problem at my

son's school he didn't go in today, so I was pretty cranky and didn't get

everything done that I needed done before I left to see my client (like eat

breakfast). Found her easily enough and got there on time. Dealt with the

usual pleasantries and got set up. But it was when I started taking the case

history that the trouble started, because she started to unload. And I mean

really unload. Luckily I didn't have any other clients booked in today,

because she talked for 4 straight hours! I now know everything about her

children and step-children, her mother, her father, her husband's family,

all the places she's lived in the last 20 years, her former job.........you

name it, I was told it. I didn't actually get near her feet at all.



And then it occurred to me. With all this talk about how we're

reflexologists and feet (or hands or ears) is what we do, we're also

listeners. Sounding boards. Someone to bounce off of. And let's be honest, I

still picked up everything I needed for the case history from our extended

counselling session, and a lot more besides. So I have a lot to work with.

Happily she paid me for today (although not for 4 hours but hey ho) and

she's booked in for next week.



Hopefully we'll get to her feet next time! :)



Lynne



[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]















[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Hi all,

Yes, though...one of our best tools as therapists is the one that can alos put

us on troubles sometimes: our ability and will of listening.

This is in addition to our patience, support and empathy.

The great advantage is that our patients usually have one hour time, many times

much (MUCH)  more than what any doctor would be able to dedicate to them.

Therefore, the patient assumes that: Here it is a great chance to "download" all

my stories.

I had been many times a victim of my own patience and from my own empathy, until

the moment in which I decided to charge per hour and not per session.

Then, every patient knew the terms before coming to my clinic to the first

session. When a new patient comes, I always remark that the first treatment will

take two hours because WE have to talk and I charge it double than a regular

session, making clear that further sessions will not be as long as the first

one, but always giving my patient the right to choose a longer appointment if

he/she is able to pay for it, based on the idea that not all the patients have

the same needs and to assume that there is always a smaller percentage of

them who need some kind of special attention. 



Yes, we provide listening, and it is inside this listening and in between the

lines that we must catch the real message that at the end helps us understanding

our patient better.

And this is beautiful, isn't it?  as long as we know how to manage our time

and "rationate" our concern to our patient. How many times have you experienced

the sensation that you worry about your patient much more than what he or she

worries about him/herself?



I learnt with the time and experience to always schedule this kind of

patients right before another one, so both myself and my patient will know that

when the time has ran, the session is over and we farewell with a hug until the

next time.

All the best,



Moshe



 Mauricio (Moshe) Kruchik-Biderman

President

THE ISRAELI FORUM OF REFLEXOLOGY

________________________________



Phone: +972 (0)9 7467676

Mobile: +972 (0)547 341961

Fax: +972 (0)9 7467675

Website: www.isreflexology.com

In English: www.isreflexology.com/en

En Español: www.isreflexology.com/es



________________________________

Maternity Reflexology

www.maternityreflexology.net 



 



Reflexology of the Spirit

www.theartofreflexology.com



[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Kevin I do agree, sometimes it's difficult to find a gap but I always do, even

if it's mid-sentence.  "Would you mind if I just stopped you there...." kindly

and firmly does it and with a gentle touch of the hand.



Quite often that is one of the downsides to treating in people's homes. I have

to say I am not a fan of it, except in some circumstances (like housebound,

heavy pregnancy or compromised immune system or some other reason they are not

mobile) The client is surrounded by their "life" and often have reminders around

them, which can hook them into offloading (such as photos of family members

etc).



I suppose since I work in a dedicated treatment room with a reception and people

waiting for their next appointment. I have adopted a different outlook.  Yes,

you do have to be more disciplined and it focuses the mind to know that you have

your next client waiting... It's a matter of communication.    I use a very

gentle manner but firmly remind them that I need to start on their feet.   If

it's an elderly person, I always put my hand on theirs as I talk so that they

have the non-verbal communication for reassurance.



There are ways and means of taking control of the situation but it does take

time and experience.



Kay





   ----- Original Message -----

   From: footc1

   To: reflexologycommunity@yahoogroups.com

   Sent: Thursday, May 15, 2008 6:42 PM

   Subject: Re: [Reflexology Community ] Self-discipline





   I am with Lynne, Kay. It isn't always easy to find a break. They usually cool

off next session

   or you may a bigger problem.



   Kevin Kunz



   --- In reflexologycommunity@yahoogroups.com, "Lynne Morgan" <LynneSMorgan@...>

   wrote:

   >

   > Oh don't Kay. I kept looking at the couch and thinking, we should be doing

this while

   you're on there! Trouble is, there was no natural break and no interruption

point. She just

   talked and talked, bless her. And like a daft person (!) I let her, rather

than saying

   something in the "tell you what" or "sorry to interrupt" line, which I know

she wouldn't

   have minded. Grrrrrrrrrrr - lol. I'm pretty certain she'd happily talk for

England at any

   future appointments, so I already dropped an extra appointment into my

calendar as soon

   as I'd got home.

   >

   > I think what bothered me most was that I hadn't had breakfast and that by

the time I got

   home and could eat, it was 2:45! Mea culpa. Thanks for the help and support,

as always. :)

   >

   > Lynne

   > xx

   >

   >

   > From: kay sainsbury

   > Sent: Thursday, May 15, 2008 4:06 PM

   > It's always a tricky one. If it's of any help in the future I use a little

ruse, when people

   are whittering on (offloading) I say something like, "I would love to hear

everything you

   say as getting it all out is a good thing, but why don't we just make a start

on your feet at

   the same time, otherwise we're going to run out of time." Once you actually

touch them,

   that may well take the place of the need to offload, as their body will do the

releasing, not

   their mind. The reflexology will take over.

   >

   > Also, just a little heads up - don't think it's all over. You may need to

remind her at the

   beginning of the next session that you have a client to follow on her

treatment (whether

   true or not) and that you won't be able to spend as long as last time.

   >

   >

   > [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

   >











[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Hi all, I learned my lesson with a boss of a construction company who would come

to sessions when he had the time and his phone would ring.  I politely

interrupted him told him that he would have to turn the phone off as this was

his hour to relax.  I explained it was distracting for both of us and was a

negative energy towards why he was here.  When people are enthusiastic and want

to talk, talk, talk; I just begin the session and say I am scheduled right after

you and need to begin helping your body.  Both of these have worked for me. 

Dave Patterson

To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance!



[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

David

I LOVED the quote at the end of your email!!!



In regards to the "talker" in your session - I recvd a wonderful mini

reflex session at the RAA conference w/Muff Warren & she said when she

gets a client who is full of energy & talks alot she'll initially work

thall around the great toe then the other toes.



It worked well w/me as I have a tendency w/"diarrhea of the mouth" :-O

& in her 10 min session I was calm & quiet!!



In peace

Marie T.Koepke, RN,NBCR-ARCB

--- In reflexologycommunity@yahoogroups.com, "David Patterson"

<commonground1@...> wrote:

>

> Hi all, I learned my lesson with a boss of a construction company who

would come to sessions when he had the time and his phone would ring.

I politely interrupted him told him that he would have to turn the

phone off as this was his hour to relax.  I explained it was

distracting for both of us and was a negative energy towards why he was

here.  When people are enthusiastic and want to talk, talk, talk; I

just begin the session and say I am scheduled right after you and need

to begin helping your body.  Both of these have worked for me.  Dave

Patterson

> To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance!

>

> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

>

Lynne,



Just thought I would respond to your initial complaint ( no food til after

2pm!) since there have been so many wonderful suggestions on working with a

talkative client.

I always try to keep some dried fruit and nuts with me, and water. Then, if

I am stuck somewhere, I have a healthy treat that staves off my hunger til I

can  get a real meal.



Connie Hubley, NBCR, NCTMB

Reflexions, Etc .

Winthrop, ME

Promoting Wellness,  Naturally







**************Wondering what's for Dinner Tonight? Get new twists on family

favorites at AOL Food.

(http://food.aol.com/dinner-tonight?NCID=aolfod00030000000001)





[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Hooray! Someone noticed! And I'm such a dumbo. That would have been such an easy

thing to do, and so obvious. Four hours listening to a woman talking, in

roundabout terms, about the appalling death of her mother was nothing compared

to being rumbly in my tumbly :) Rest assured, home made fruit flapjack and a

spare water bottle will be going into my treatment bag this very evening.



Incidentally Connie. Under the circumstances, your sig line is hilarious!



With love

Lynne





   From: ReflexionsEtc@...

   Sent: Saturday, May 17, 2008 12:00 AM

   Just thought I would respond to your initial complaint ( no food til after

   2pm!) since there have been so many wonderful suggestions on working with a

   talkative client.

   I always try to keep some dried fruit and nuts with me, and water. Then, if

   I am stuck somewhere, I have a healthy treat that staves off my hunger til I

   can get a real meal.



   Connie Hubley, NBCR, NCTMB

   Reflexions, Etc .

   Winthrop, ME

   Promoting Wellness, Naturally



   **************Wondering what's for Dinner Tonight? Get new twists on family

   favorites at AOL Food.

   (http://food.aol.com/dinner-tonight?NCID=aolfod00030000000001)



[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]