hi everyone. I just joined today my name is Beth
I'm 19. I've never been clinically diagnosed as
depressed, but latly I feel myself spinning down that
tunnel. I haven't told my "husband" how I feel because if
I start on that thenI have to tell him why and I
can't stand to hear his answer anymore. You see we
started dating a while back it started as a harmless
fling but we fell in love. I got pregnant my parents
kicked me out of the houe and practically disowned me. I
looked to him for support and he was wonderful. He said
that we would get married before uor daughter was
born, but we didn't. We gave her up for adoption
because we felt that we needed more time to "grow
together" He was really great in supporting me when I
handed over Jennifer to her new parents and we still
comunicate with them. I never doubt that was a good
descision but I do miss her alot. Especially now that I am
7.5 months pregnant with a boy. My due date is the
same day as that of Jennifer's just one year later. we
still aren't married and he continues to be wonderfully
supportive and loving. But he promised early on that we
would be married for this baby because we decided that
since I was on birth control that this was God's way of
saying that we were going to have a baby. To this day I
stillhere that we will be married soon, but he hasn't done
anything to move towards that. I can't do it because I
don't drive and I don't have anyway to get the
paperwork. He tells me what a simple process it will be but
he never seems to get the ball rolling. I ask him
why and he says that he has been too busy. Everyone
he works with thinks we're married and everywhere I
go I am called Mrs. Olson and everytime it makes me
feel like I'm being stabbed in the heart. I feeel
myself starting to move away from him into my own little
cave and I stay up at night crying while he sleeps. I
don't know what to do there's noone here that I can
talk to. I can't really give him an ultimatum because
I'm 19 dropped out of highschool and living in
Germany with him. I don't mind being his wife I want to
so bad but I feel like I'm getting torn apart and I
don't know what to do.<br>I know this has been a long
message, but maybe if someone has any insight to how I can
bring myself out of my cave to talk to him. then
perhaps it will all be ok. <br>thanks for
listening<br>Beth