Rita, I agree with you totally. My wife has been places with her female friends who are either divorced or single, and several of our friends thought this was...
... My god, that's exactly what he says about it, almost verbatim. I guess its a little sexist of me to think it odd to hear those things from a man about...
I can relate to this completely. My wife had endometriosis and wouldn't say no when it hurt. I had pleaded with her on many occasions not to do this and...
Three months ago when my wife said the marriage was over she said that nobody in town needed to know. She would just move downstairs and we would pretend that...
Erik, did that over 16 months ago. My wife came to me after disclosing what her brothers and others did to her when she was 8 and said out of the blue "I can't...
My wife right now as we speak is with her divorced friends who she teaches with. She has said to me they don't bash men, but I have my doubts. I will say my...
I'm not trying to discourage you from trying, but I've been going through it for about 3 1/2 yrs now. It's a little better than when we started, but it's...
Erik, Being the "lady in the cellar " at our house I think I can relate a bit. I read some of your old posts and I am not sure if she is in counseling?...
Everyone, Thanks, for all the great replies. The one thing that is different in my situation is that I knew from the beginning of the relationship what was...
Erik, You and I seem to have a similar situation. Looking back, I wish I knew then what I know now. I knew about my spouses abuse about 7 years ago but...
Hi, I'm a new member here. One point from "angry2long"'s post I'd like to ask a question about communication approaches on: You say because your loved one...
Secondary, My wife also had multiple affairs outside our marriage and anger is a trigger for her as well. (I think anger is a trigger for everyone and even if...
I went down the same path looking for a way to communicate with my wife. I tried just about everyway I could think of including having people I was barely...
Secondary_Survivor, we all need to listen to Wheelug and fshnrgdnck. Their points are valid. This past weeek I have decided that there is nothing I can do to...
Scott, That was so amazingly well said and clear I am going to print it out. The things I have been thinking over the last few days - weeks - months, but did...
Larry, On the boundaries they are YOUR boundaries, she does not HAVE to commit to them, although its better you have some agreement but often this is not the...
I'm finding in a lot of ways, my boyfriend is looking to me for examples of how to set boundaries. Even in his friend and familial relationships, he's never...
My wife denies having any kind of affairs with her adventure racing buddies but she continues to go outside or into another room when she is talking to them....
Hi all, I've posted here a few times a year ago...I come on here because I want to understand what my husband feels. I'm not sure that reading your posts is...
... racing buddies ... talking to ... is going to ... with them ... us. I want ... everything about ... city. She ... it. Should ... this is a ... Erik, ...
Erik, I wouldn't tell her that. It will just make her go into hiding more. Not to mention she will start thinking that all of her friends are spying on her for...
... how ... can ... thing. ... is ... And ... repeating ... Wow, not only are you going to meet his family, but he is in contact with his abuser? Kudos to you,...
Actually I would love to talk to you about some of this. Judging by the comments you made I would say your about in the same mind set my wife is in. What could...
... can ... to ... husband? ... Yes, I tell him everything-seems the more I tell, the closer we get, ESPECIALLY things that I feel ashamed of, and he still...
Lauper007 I hear so many things that my wife tells me, or asks me for, in your text. The small non sexual things that can make one feel good about themselves....
Lauper007, I am a member of a survivor's group online for the same reason, kind of: to understand what my boyfriend is going through as a survivor. It breaks...
Dear Larry, About the boundry setting......... Please realize that your wife doesn't have to commit to this. YOU HAVE TO COMMIT TO THIS FOR YOURSELF!!!!! Like ...
What I would have given to have read or heard your comments 16 months ago. You are beautiful; you have been willing to share from the survivors standpoint....
