Hi, my name is Joanna. I am in a relationship with an incest survivor. I too am
a child sex abuse survivor. We have been together for 11 months today and
believe we have found our perfect matches. Our experiences have posed some
serious issues, however, in how to understand one another. I feel like I am
always forced to be the rock of the relaionship and have not been able to find a
way to meet my own needs, not as a survivor, but as a woman in love. It is very
important to me to be there for her, but I find I'm having to push myself aside
time and again. Our communication works in cycles. For a time, there is openess,
honesty and care. Then, for what seems to be an extensive time, things just get
shut off. Feelings become more of a burden and openess a curse. During these
times I find myself becomming emotionless and detatched, alomost apathetic. I
know thoughout my being that I love her dearly, but it seems to be almost
inconvenient to her happiness. I'm not exactly sure what kind of advice I'm
looking for. I wish maybe there were exercises in communication that we could do
to work on keeping lines open. I believe that this could be the door through
which we'll walk to start addressing the compounded issues of our relationship,
sex, money, intimacy...ect. If anyone has any guidance,about being a partner of
a survivor, it would be greatly appreciated. Also, I must ask if anyone here is
a survivor themselves in a relationship with another survivor, there doesn't
seem to be too many resources available for this particular situation. Thank
you, and God Bless.
-Joanna