She may just be taking a time out to sort through what she is
feeling. I do this too. Not because I want to cause stress to my
partner but rather to avoid my over reactions. I know that it
affects him but I'd rather him have to suffer through a couple hours
of silent treatment than to have me hollering and crying about
something that shouldn't be to taken to that extreme. Does she at
least talk to you at a later time about what happened? If not, she
might build up some resentment.


--- In positivepartnersofsurvivors@yahoogroups.com, "brummiejon"
<brummiejon@...> wrote:
>
> Thanks.... Something that I have noticed recently is that when
> something happens, I say or do the wrong things (I'm still trying
to
> work out what these things really are), my partner totally
withdraws
> from me, perhaps for an hour or so, she said (without going to any
> detail to me) "it's my hang up, not yours"... True, but there is no
> awareness that I am in any way affected. She always seems to come
out
> of it OK and back to where we started from but seems totally
unaware
> of how this affects me. If she thinks I'm trying to analyse any
> situation she says I'm over analysing and to "lighten up".
Sometimes I
> just don't know what to do, she can change her mind about things at
> the drop of a hat but then makes light of me when I'm trying to
work
> out what is really going on. I just don't know where I stand and
if I
> say anything she says "we love each other, thats all that matters".
> There is no acknowledgement that my feelings may have been hurt or
> that her actions have any effect on me.
>
> I know this is going to be hard because she is a long way from even
> wanting to explore her own feelings about this. Any advice, or
> suggestions of further reading to help me understand how to deal
with
> my own feelings would be most appreciated.
>
> BJ
>