Thanks.... Something that I have noticed recently is that when
something happens, I say or do the wrong things (I'm still trying to
work out what these things really are), my partner totally withdraws
from me, perhaps for an hour or so, she said (without going to any
detail to me) "it's my hang up, not yours"... True, but there is no
awareness that I am in any way affected. She always seems to come out
of it OK and back to where we started from but seems totally unaware
of how this affects me. If she thinks I'm trying to analyse any
situation she says I'm over analysing and to "lighten up". Sometimes I
just don't know what to do, she can change her mind about things at
the drop of a hat but then makes light of me when I'm trying to work
out what is really going on. I just don't know where I stand and if I
say anything she says "we love each other, thats all that matters".
There is no acknowledgement that my feelings may have been hurt or
that her actions have any effect on me.

I know this is going to be hard because she is a long way from even
wanting to explore her own feelings about this. Any advice, or
suggestions of further reading to help me understand how to deal with
my own feelings would be most appreciated.

BJ