Hi Daisymae:

I'm sorry my reply has taken so long. I see by your response that
you totally understand my point. In reality wouldn't we all be very
bored if our relationships lacked the "crazy factor."

As my friend WS said, "The course of true love never did run
smooth." Perhaps our prayer should just be that we find more of a
blessing than a curse in our partner/relationship.

Patricia



--- In positivepartnersofsurvivors@yahoogroups.com, daisymae542003
<no_reply@...> wrote:
>
> Patricia, you are right, EVERYONE is a bit screwed up. Not one
> person has live more than 20 years and not been through something
in
> their life that hasn't tainted them in some way.
>
> Some people can handle being in relationship with a compulsive
> gambler, that isn't something I could handle.
>
> Some people can deal with only having "relations" once a month,
that
> isn't something I could deal with.
>
> Some people can deal with crazy jealousy, I can deal with that. Not
> because I enjoy crazy jealousy but because there are so many other
> wonderful things that my man gives to me and I can see the
> underlying issues that cause him to sometimes act that way.
>
> As far as love goes, we all get to pick what kind of crazy we can
> endure!
>
>
> --- In positivepartnersofsurvivors@yahoogroups.com, "Patricia"
> <dovewhispers@> wrote:
> >
> > Hello...
> >
> > I have just read the recent posts and I agree with Daniel.
> > It is a mistake to generalize survivors of CSA. With any human
> > experience there are a multitude of factors that are unique to
> every
> > situation. Including the individual survivor's ability to
process
> > the event(s), coping skills, external supports, etc.
> >
> > Daniel's example is well taken. His girlfriend who had not
> > experienced CSA was damaged from some unknown factor that
> prevented
> > her from bonding and growing within their, or apparently any
other
> > relationship. While his wife, a CSA survivor, has maintained a
> > loving relationship with him for over 20-years.
> >
> > Needless to say, when you love an individual you inherit all of
> their
> > baggage. Humans are such complicated beings. Some are damaged
by
> > CSA, some have control issues, some have eating disorders, some
> spend
> > too much money, some have never gotten over missing their prom,
or
> > becoming a wife instead of the medical doctor they dreamed of
> being.
> > From my observation, regardless of the cause of damage many of
the
> > behavior issues (anger, sabotage, sexual dysfunction) are very
> > similar.
> >
> > As Daniel points out in his message to "S" -- A relationship is a
> > fluid, living state of being that is molded and transformed by
the
> > actions and inaction's of the participants. I guess another way
> to
> > say it is you must play the hand you're dealt. For instance, "S"
> > wouldn't have ended her relationship but since her CSA survivor
> did
> > how should respond... ie what card to play. BTW I would have sent
> his
> > stuff back in the mail (FYI - I talk big but I'm a sucker...)
> >
> > Being glib... As Kenny Rogers would say -- "You must know when to
> > hold 'em and know when to fold 'em, know when to walk away and
> when
> > to stay." (I don't think I've ever quoted country music lyrics
> > before, but it seems to fit.)
> >
> > I hope you have a winning hand.
> > Patricia
> >
> >
>