To realize what you have realized in 2 years time is a good thing.
It's best to bow out now before children, mortgages, car payments and all the
other things that demand both your names and, most importantly, love, are
affected in a negative way.
My spouse was able to hide how damaged he was for quite a few years. He had an
entire childhoor to perfect a way of preventing others of realizing that he was
in a cycle that would, eventually, involve whomever he chose to "save" him--and
most of this was done without his being aware he was doing it. They use you
because it is both a defense mechanism and one of many survival techniques.
Your leaving could very well set her on the road to some kind of recovery.
Good luck.
mlek


--- On Thu, 6/12/08, troubledtimes00 <pasqualecaleca@...> wrote:

> From: troubledtimes00 <pasqualecaleca@...>
> Subject: [POS Can't do it anymore.
> To: positivepartnersofsurvivors@yahoogroups.com
> Date: Thursday, June 12, 2008, 4:36 PM
> I have posted a few times, but this will be the last i
> commend all of
> those that are riding the wave with there love one who has
> been
> sexually abused. I have been involved in this marriage for
> a short yet
> miserable two years, after the honeymoon it all went to
> hell. I have
> tried therapy and ended up with my own therapist for
> depression. I
> can see how my life would be, i have never loved anyone
> more then
> this women and wanted everything with her, i just cannot
> condem
> myself to a life of misery and loneliness. Am i selfish
> for doing
> this? For putting myself and sanity first, I am getting
> blamed for all
> the pain she has been through and the guilt trips are non
> stop. I am
> afraid that i myself will never be the same, two years of
> total
> rejection takes a toll on a person and now i feel like i
> will have
> trust issues.
>
>
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