Over time, I think you both will be going through a lot of different
emotions and its important that you not let any one feeling or
emotion dominate you. You've mentioned the terms supportive and
stoic, calm and loving - and I dont see how those can be negative at
any time. Based on what you've wrote, I dont think you could react
in any particular "wrong" way but its understandable; as well as your
concern about losing her.

At the same time though, this incident could also bring you two
closer together than before, so try to keep open and positive for
her...especially if she is your soulmate!


--- In positivepartnersofsurvivors@yahoogroups.com, "damadreas"
<damadreas@...> wrote:
>
>
>
> May 17th early in the morning my fiance and soulmate was raped by
her new neighbor as
> she's moved recently. For now I'll spare the details. But I
personally, don't know how to feel,
> what to think. I can't even begin to process the feelings going
through me.
>
> When she first told me I was nearly stoic, calm, supportive, loving
and just listened with
> concern. Then I hurled.. I don't think I've ever felt so nauseated
and I still do, I've started
> wondering how long my insides will hurt like this.
>
> I've yet to see her, and intend to go see her this morning May the
18th.. I don't know what to
> do.. I'm afraid of how -I- will respond to her. I know I don't
blame her, I know I love her but I
> don't want how this is affecting me to come into harms way of her
coping with whats
> happened to her. The fact that this makes me sick, I fear she'll
think the thought of her in
> that way sickens me, or simply she does. Then I fear maybe it will.
>
> Every possible thing has gone through my mind. I'm scared of how
this will affect our
> relationship, will she ever truly trust me again based on my
sexuality. I'm lucky she's alive,
> but I'm still worried I might lose her.
>