Hey there

I am a survivor of childhood sexual abuse. I read the posts here in
an effort to try and understand how my husband could perceive
things, etc.

I don't consider my abuse history to play much of a role in my
current life (or so I perceive). I don't really talk about it or
bring it up, but sometimes I can see that I do do certain things the
way I do them, etc. because of my past.

Because I don't ever discuss it or anything, my husband seems
oblivious to the fact that I have a past of this kind. We spoke
about it when we first started dating, but I don't want to
constantly remind him of it.

It is on my mind at least once or twice a day, so perhaps just a
memory or feeling possibly being triggered by something, but it
isn't dibilitating, so I don't bring it up.

The issue for me though is that I would like the support of my
husband. You might ask, well what am I looking for if I say
support, and that is the problem, I don't really know. I feel
almost like I need him to acknowledge it and see it for what it is,
but again, what does that mean, and so I compulsivly ask these
questions to the point that I then don't raise them with him.

I would like to be able to say to him how I am feeling or when I
have a moment, to be able to say " I have a moment" and perhaps get
an UNDERSTANDING hug, not just a dutyful hug, but how do I
communicate my needs.

Any suggestions as partners?